New Children on the Block



Family Politics: a field in utter crisis.

Back in the days a child was polite; it respected its parents, older people, teachers and law enforcement agents. Children knew what was expected of them and being a child was so beautiful and innocent...
But the new children on the block (generally speaking) are rude; disrespectful; they ignore the meaning of “figure of authority”; they are confused about their place in society, and they get to one’s wits.

Kids are rude and disrespectful
Observe the relationship between them and their parents. Their parents tell them to do something, they won’t. Mommy and daddy rebuke them (due to some mischief) they talk back and putrid language may be uttered. Mamma and papa won’t give them money, or the gadget they want, the spoiled brats either roll on the floor crying or insult their guardians. And by consequence, this bad behaviour is then extended to relationships with society at large.

Kids are ignorant of the term “figure of authority”
I don’t know about your country; but in mine (Portugal) there is a growing number of kids who beat their teachers up; who talk back at them; who use cell-phones in class and insult the teacher when he/she tells them to turn them off.
Law enforcement agents are seen as the number one public enemy. And since Rap Music teaches that famous sentence “F*** the Police!”, children find it funny to disrespect police officers and diminish the importance of their task.

Kids are confused and get to one’s wits
They are confused about the meaning of being a child (which is to respect their elderly and authority; to do as they’re told and question it afterwards; not to use foul language etc); and they are under the illusion that a family is a democracy (news: a family is a dictatorship...not a dictatorship of the proletariat [which we loath] but a familial one – although they may have an opinion they cannot be opinionated).
These kids’ behaviour can be so annoying that one feels like doing as the Latin-American and Latin-European do: smack them like no man’s business.

But who should be blamed for this crisis in Family Politics? The parents.
They need to understand that parenting is not friendship. Being a friend does not imply the same level of responsibility that being a parent does: parenting equals to being a Guardian-Angel, of not only a child but also of the future of society.

It’s time to go back to the basics...



Image: Mother and Child by Brocky

Comments

  1. I grew up in a home where for much of my childhood, my father traveled a lot during the week. My mother was, by and large, a single parent. My Dad came home on the weekends, but wasn't able to help discipline during the week. My mother couldn't say, "Wait until your father gets home.", because that would be several days. lol She was a very patient person, and seldom lost her temper. But when she had to enforce a rule, we knew she meant it and we had to obey. It wasn't any threat, it was her body language and voice. I think it had more weight because we didn't see that often. She modeled for me how to really enforce discipline. That has helped me with my own children. I also took a parenting class in college that taught me about rewards and punishments. I have learned how to, through consequences, "persuade" my children that obedience would be the best course. I think with many parents working out of the home, children did not have modeled for them how to parent. Those same children are now grown with children of their own with no idea how to parent. It doesn't help that many of those same people today are also working outside the home, and children aren't being parented much of the time. One of our church leaders taught, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home." I believe that more mothers should come home from the work place and parent their children. They may not have as many of the "toys", or comforts that they would have by getting a paycheck, but their children will have better parenting.

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  2. Hey D! :D

    Gorgeous comment!
    Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with us; and you have touched an extremely relevant issue: mothers staying at home and working mothers investing more on parenting their children.
    I agree that having women working outside their homes has changed the family dynamics and, by consequence, society's order.

    I absolutely loved your comment, girl :D!

    Cheers

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  3. Although I was told not to blindly respect any figure of authority, I was told was respect meant and I appreciate that. My parents are very easy-going and relax, yet I knew I'd better behave :-)

    I think all generations complain that respect is lost. I don't think youths today are worse than before...

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  4. "It’s time to go back to the basics..."

    As in an involved, biologically male father, and a focused, biologically female mother? ;-)

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  5. Ah...parenting is really tough...esp. I learn that after helping out at the daycare. Kids love to challenge their boundaries and if we give in, then they'll turn into little brats. They are master manipulators from such a young age and if we're not there to help them channel their energies, then alasss...

    I find that "MAYBE" some very busy parents feel guilty about not having spent enough time with their kids, so they give them what they want and they give in to show their love...and that's never a good thing...too much love creates brats. Loving kids means also setting proper boundaries for them, though it's never easy. We've gotta be REALLY consistent.

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  6. Hi Zhu :D!

    "Although I was told not to blindly respect any figure of authority, I was told was respect meant and I appreciate that. My parents are very easy-going and relax, yet I knew I'd better behave :-)"

    No one has to blindly follow any figure of authority; however respect is in order. I respected my elderly, I respected teachers and police officers however that doesn't mean that I didn't respectfully question them whenever I'd feel their orders, suggestions and ideas were wrong.
    LOL I know what you mean: my parents were very easy-going as well...but watch out if we'd misbehave ;)...

    "I think all generations complain that respect is lost. I don't think youths today are worse than before..."

    I think today's youth is more neglected than before, and thus their behaviour has grown worse than before. My generation was called the "Geração rasca" (= the sleazy generation; the symbol was Generation X) but today's kids...*nodding*...

    Zhu, thanks for your input :D!

    Cheers

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  7. Hey Looney :D!

    "["It’s time to go back to the basics..."] As in an involved, biologically male father, and a focused, biologically female mother? ;-)"

    LOL LOL that too; but not only...we must not forget about the new forms of parenting (they may not be perfect, but that's what kids get nowadays).

    When I speak of basics, I refer to investing more time on parenting. I am under the impression that nowadays most people have kids either by accident, or for reasons that are unknown to them - for any other reason but proper parenting; and that is sad.
    And yes, we could blame on their parents for not having set the proper example, and now they do not know how to bring up children...but damn it, where is self-accountability? I guess it is easier to put the blame on others...I don't know *nodding*.

    Looney, excellent comment: thanks :D!

    Cheers

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  8. Hi Amel :D!

    "Ah...parenting is really tough...esp. I learn that after helping out at the daycare. Kids love to challenge their boundaries and if we give in, then they'll turn into little brats. They are master manipulators from such a young age and if we're not there to help them channel their energies, then alasss..."

    I agree with you.

    "I find that "MAYBE" some very busy parents feel guilty about not having spent enough time with their kids, so they give them what they want and they give in to show their love...and that's never a good thing...too much love creates brats. Loving kids means also setting proper boundaries for them, though it's never easy. We've gotta be REALLY consistent."

    Again, I agree with you: consistency is in order!

    Amel, superb comment: thanks for your input :D!

    Cheers

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  9. Hi Max! Well said. The kids now are so much different from kids then. I see a lot of kids who are disrespectful and yes, rude. Most kids now are also lazy. They would rather spend time with their friends than be at home and help with the chores. They seem to have lost their values too. Back here, I see a lot of teenagers hanging out with their friends and boyfriends until the wee hours of the morning.

    Amel is right, they are master manipulators. They like to test their parents and see how far they can go. It's sad that some parents give in just to avoid arguments.

    Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. It will help a lot.

    Take care sweetie and enjoy the rest of the week. *hugs*

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  10. Hi Liza :D!

    "The kids now are so much different from kids then. I see a lot of kids who are disrespectful and yes, rude. Most kids now are also lazy. They would rather spend time with their friends than be at home and help with the chores. They seem to have lost their values too. Back here, I see a lot of teenagers hanging out with their friends and boyfriends until the wee hours of the morning."

    You see, that is why I blame the parents. They are too nonchalant when it comes to parenting. Kids don't lose their values, they are not taught values; they are not encouraged to apply those that are inherent to us in their daily life...this is extremely sad.
    About teens being out until the wee hours of the morning: where are the boundaries? Parents need to set them *nodding*.

    "Amel is right, they are master manipulators. They like to test their parents and see how far they can go. It's sad that some parents give in just to avoid arguments."

    *nodding in utter agreement*...

    "Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. It will help a lot."

    No need to thank me, girl. I just wish you guys the best :D! God Bless!

    Liza, thank you so much for your comment and your friendship! :D

    *Big Hug*

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  11. Things are the same here as well. The wayward ones think they can get away with most anything and most often do. The laws have slackened and the courts only give out a slap on the wrist. Knowing this they continue their ways for fear of nothing. All I can say is, heaven help them and us!

    Take Care,
    Peter

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  12. We do need to get back to basics. Unfortunately we have created the little monsters that you speak of. We as adults have not been a good role model and the free flow of information and the hype of scandal in the life of celeberties, politics, law enforcement and the advent of reality shows which glorify bad behavior has set a generation of young people on a road that is what you describe. We as adults have to clean up our act for the children of today to learn from. They are learning from us all the time, we are not teaching the right lessons... we are taking the easy way out ... Good post!

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  13. I love this line of yours: "...parenting equals to being a Guardian-Angel, of not only a child but also of the future of society."

    You are so right that it's the parents' fault. Usually, they have little in the way of parenting skills or the required insight or self-esteem to do a good job of it. And then they blame the teachers instead of themselves!

    We give up too much of our authority, in our need to be our kids' friends, and then we pay the price for taking the easy way. It takes great courage to discipline our children.

    And of course, EVERYTHING in the media teaches disdain for law, order, authority, respect, and reverence, and even flies in the face of love.

    We certainly need to look at what our societies are "devolving" into!

    A pithy and most interesting post, my dear Max.

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  14. Well Max, you know that 'disease' is spreading everywhere, we have it in Canada too. I was in high school, over 20 years ago, and I saw it then. I saw two twin brothers pushing around old man at the bus stop. You ask kids to keep quite on the road, next thing they are destroying your home. Kids don't help their parents. On both sides of our house, both neighbors have children, they never cut grass, never even shovel the snow, parents do it all the time - myself and my husband help sometimes, because we feel bad. I think parents are responsible for that because they don't enforce discipline, and many times parents behavior is not any better, and is passed on to their children - like they say 'you lead by example'. Max dear you got that post well done, as a mother, this is something I must watch out for. Thanks again my friend. Anna :)

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  15. Max:

    I absolutely agree with you one hundred percent. Today's kids are completely out of control.

    I was raised by my aunt and uncle, and he drove a truck for a living, one of those big eighteen wheelers that travel across country. He is gone now, but I remember him telling me how the new, younger generation of truck drivers do not abide by the old courtesies of the road. Things like driving to the right, and flashing their lights to let a four wheel car know it can safely pass. Simple rules that the older generation of drivers took for granted.

    I think your post resonates with his words. And he impressed on me the concept of honor, respect and trust and caring for others, and I have never forgot those lessons.

    But I cannot stand all of this disrespect and rowdiness and human beings that live without any honor whatsoever. I long for the secret of how we can bring about the changes we need before it's too late. For I fear our youth are on a course of self destruction.

    Should you find the secret in your wisdom, please be kind enough to share.

    In the meantime, Happy trails.

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  16. My father was a mean dig hence I am one.
    My childhood was miserable thus I am one.
    My mother gave me no love therefore I am lost from love.

    What a waste...

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  17. Most of the time children's behaviour is the mirror of their own parents.

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  18. Hi Max,

    Forget politics, parents are the single most ruling party. If they let the children run freely without direction, and discipline, the nuclear family is under attack. Hence there is chaos. In most cases, a disrespectful child becomes a disrespectful adult (or a politician.) ;D

    I don't like when precocious kids are portrayed in films either. Kids are watching and thinking that they should behave like that too. Parenting is a huge responsibility and when the apple of a parent's eye becomes rotten, we can all smell it.

    I don't think cellphones should be allowed in school. That's one of the problems - distraction and not listening to adults and sadly not having any future goals. (Again that falls on the parents) I am hoping that they only represent only a small portion of parents/kids. It's always the few that spoil the bunch. Some kids are really great and they don't get enough credit.

    We have to get back to the basics and rule with an iron fist and hopefully it won't be met with brass knuckles.

    As always, this is a fine example of the mighty Max.

    Good Parenting Cheers!

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  19. Hi Max,

    Nowadays because many women are working moms, their children after school hours find themselves facing loneness.
    The lack of adult presence, during so many hours, stresses them out, it increases the level of frustration which in turn leads to mood swings, rudeness and in last instance...to bullying.
    The bad behaviour is not always a consequence of bad parenting (there's, by nature, some evil kids out there) however parents are urged to be constantly focused during the raising-up process.

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  20. Parenthood is the most important job any of us will ever have and it is mandatory we are present in our parenting. Not friends but parents and I agree with you about how many out of control children we see these days.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Great topic that I believe will resonate with many people…well done!

    One of the many challenges that have been amplified by the advent and rise of post modernist thought is that “the basics” seemingly no longer exist. Certainly in reality those sign posts are still there as post modernism is smoke and mirrors but cutting through the slight of mind can be challenging to some.

    What are “the basics” and who says they are the standard plus by what authority? Why is wrong to do the litany of challenges you listed?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Peter :D!

    "Things are the same here as well. The wayward ones think they can get away with most anything and most often do. The laws have slackened and the courts only give out a slap on the wrist. Knowing this they continue their ways for fear of nothing. All I can say is, heaven help them and us!"

    I totally hear you, Pete! Society's laws are made by men; men who are raised by parents. Now, if certain parents do not raise their kids properly under the justification that they work all day, that they get home too tired to parent, that TV is the one to blame for their kids' behaviour etc etc (as if our parents didn't work all day, back in the days; as if we didn't watch TV alone)...you can imagine what else will be coming our way...*nodding*.

    Pete, thanks a million for your top comment :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi Mark :D!

    "We as adults have not been a good role model and the free flow of information and the hype of scandal in the life of celeberties, politics, law enforcement and the advent of reality shows which glorify bad behavior has set a generation of young people on a road that is what you describe."

    But I ask, aren't those TV shows and public scandals already a reflection of poor upbringing? Haven't parents become too lenient, too nonchalant about the meaning of parenting in such a way that their kids (the present and future adults) have a twisted notion of what they need and want? A complex issue...

    "We as adults have to clean up our act for the children of today to learn from. They are learning from us all the time, we are not teaching the right lessons... we are taking the easy way out ..."

    *nodding in utter agreement*....right on!

    "Good post!"

    Thank you *bowing*!

    Mark, oustanding comment: thank you ever so much :D!

    Cheers

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  24. Hi Lynda :D!

    "I love this line of yours: "...parenting equals to being a Guardian-Angel, of not only a child but also of the future of society.""

    Thank you *bowing*...

    "You are so right that it's the parents' fault. Usually, they have little in the way of parenting skills or the required insight or self-esteem to do a good job of it. And then they blame the teachers instead of themselves!"

    They blame the teachers, their own parents, the TV...anyone, anything but themselves.

    "It takes great courage to discipline our children."

    True...

    "And of course, EVERYTHING in the media teaches disdain for law, order, authority, respect, and reverence, and even flies in the face of love."

    I think the media already reflects the bad state of things *nodding*. It all starts in our mini-society: home.

    "We certainly need to look at what our societies are "devolving" into!"

    I utterly agree with you, darling.

    "A pithy and most interesting post, my dear Max."

    Thank you so much, my friend *bowing*.

    Lynda, a million thanks for this amazing comment :D!

    Cheers

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  25. Hi Anna :D!

    "Well Max, you know that 'disease' is spreading everywhere, we have it in Canada too"

    It is a disease indeed...

    "I saw two twin brothers pushing around old man at the bus stop. You ask kids to keep quite on the road, next thing they are destroying your home."

    *nodding* so sad...

    "Kids don't help their parents. On both sides of our house, both neighbors have children, they never cut grass, never even shovel the snow, parents do it all the time - myself and my husband help sometimes, because we feel bad."

    *nodding* despicable...

    "I think parents are responsible for that because they don't enforce discipline, and many times parents behavior is not any better, and is passed on to their children - like they say 'you lead by example'."

    Absolutely! It seems like they are afraid of enforcing discipline; they are afraid of contradicting their kids, of confronting them, of imposing rules...it's sad, really.

    "Max dear you got that post well done, as a mother, this is something I must watch out for. Thanks again my friend."

    Thank you, my friend *bowing*. As an adult (and future mom, God willing) I feel the responsibility to address these issues and take heed. Don't mention it, darling :D!

    Anna, thank you so much for your input: remarkable :D!

    Cheers

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  26. Hi Swu :D!

    "I absolutely agree with you one hundred percent. Today's kids are completely out of control."

    *High 5*...they are indeed, unfortunately.

    "I was raised by my aunt and uncle, and he drove a truck for a living, one of those big eighteen wheelers that travel across country. He is gone now, but I remember him telling me how the new, younger generation of truck drivers do not abide by the old courtesies of the road. Things like driving to the right, and flashing their lights to let a four wheel car know it can safely pass. Simple rules that the older generation of drivers took for granted."

    I so understand the analogy! And your uncle was right.

    "I think your post resonates with his words. And he impressed on me the concept of honor, respect and trust and caring for others, and I have never forgot those lessons."

    *nodding in delight*...

    "But I cannot stand all of this disrespect and rowdiness and human beings that live without any honor whatsoever. I long for the secret of how we can bring about the changes we need before it's too late. For I fear our youth are on a course of self destruction."

    Neither can I - it gets to my wits *nodding*. The secret is one only, Swu: acknowledgement that having children is not to just spew them out of a vagina; feed and dress them, be their friends, let them do whatever they wish with no consequence whatsoever and then tell society "here, now you can have them!". Parents need to realise that what they do has an impact on society, period.

    Swu, my dear friend, I absolutely loved your comment: thank you for sharing :D!

    Cheers

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  27. Hi Lenny :D!

    "My father was a mean dig hence I am one. My childhood was miserable thus I am one. My mother gave me no love therefore I am lost from love."

    Unaccountability...yes, that is the plat du jour.

    "What a waste..."

    Absolutely!!

    Lenny Hannah, thank you so much for your input :D!

    Cheers

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  28. Hi Dux :D!

    "Most of the time children's behaviour is the mirror of their own parents."

    I agree.

    Dux, thank you so much for your input :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hi Lady A :D!

    "In most cases, a disrespectful child becomes a disrespectful adult (or a politician.) ;D"

    You are absolutely right.

    "I don't like when precocious kids are portrayed in films either. Kids are watching and thinking that they should behave like that too. Parenting is a huge responsibility and when the apple of a parent's eye becomes rotten, we can all smell it."

    Again, I agree. I don't like it either - specially because parents do not take the time to explain that what they see on TV/movies is sheer fantasy; and that if they try to behave like that...there will be consequences.
    "when the apple of a parent's eye becomes rotten, we can smell it" LOL LOL so true (I loved this one).

    "I don't think cellphones should be allowed in school. That's one of the problems - distraction and not listening to adults and sadly not having any future goals. (Again that falls on the parents) I am hoping that they only represent only a small portion of parents/kids. It's always the few that spoil the bunch. Some kids are really great and they don't get enough credit."

    They shouldn't; it is bad enough cell-phones are everywhere.
    I agree with you: good kids never get the credit; specially because they are overshadowed by the rude ones *nodding*.

    "We have to get back to the basics and rule with an iron fist and hopefully it won't be met with brass knuckles."

    LOL...

    "As always, this is a fine example of the mighty Max."

    *bowing* thank you...

    Lady A, superb comment: thank you so much for your wisdom :D!

    Responsible Parenting Cheers

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  30. Hi C.C :D!

    "Nowadays because many women are working moms, their children after school hours find themselves facing loneness."

    It is understandable; not all moms can stay at home (as much as they'd like to); however...when they get home they should go that extra mile and parent (no matter how tired they are).

    "The lack of adult presence, during so many hours, stresses them out, it increases the level of frustration which in turn leads to mood swings, rudeness and in last instance...to bullying."

    Indeed...they feel neglected.

    "The bad behaviour is not always a consequence of bad parenting (there's, by nature, some evil kids out there) however parents are urged to be constantly focused during the raising-up process."

    I agree that there are evil kids (by nature) but parents still have to try to mould them; they shouldn't just shrug it off due to their kids' evil nature.

    C.C, outstanding comment: thank you so much :D!

    Cheers

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  31. Hey MW :D!

    "Parenthood is the most important job any of us will ever have and it is mandatory we are present in our parenting."

    I totally agree with you (I loved this).

    "Not friends but parents and I agree with you about how many out of control children we see these days."

    *nodding in agreement*...

    MW, thank you so much for your input :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hey LS :D!

    "Great topic that I believe will resonate with many people…well done!"

    Thank you, man *bowing*.

    "One of the many challenges that have been amplified by the advent and rise of post modernist thought is that “the basics” seemingly no longer exist. Certainly in reality those sign posts are still there as post modernism is smoke and mirrors but cutting through the slight of mind can be challenging to some."

    You know what? I am inclined to concur with you, LS *nodding*...

    "What are “the basics” and who says they are the standard plus by what authority? Why is wrong to do the litany of challenges you listed?"

    By authority...are you trying to get us back to our favourite issue ;D?

    LSus, thank you so much for your awesome comment :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hey MAX!

    “You know what? I am inclined to concur with you, LS *nodding*...”

    - *In shock LS falls backward off chair nearly decapitating himself*

    “By authority...are you trying to get us back to our favourite issue”

    - I can’t help it you keep raising these issues…

    By the way girl have you noticed my new playground?

    A new blog for you dear…by popular demand:

    http://politicsontheblade.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  34. This is what you - and some commenter's - have said; this is an ongoing question from generation to generation.

    I so much remember my grand father (born 1901( thought the kids on the blocks was hopeless and of course I behave differently with the kids compared with when I was at his house :-)

    To avoid repeating argument from others, I was thinking of that children often behave different at home (often the worst side) compare to when they are guest at some friends. You might call it adjustment and also that there might not be that necessary to go back to basics...... :-)

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  35. Hey Renny :D!

    Loved reading your comment, for which I thank you immensely *bowing*.

    You seem extremely positive about today's kids, which is always refreshing: keep up :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hey LS,

    I nearly let this one slide...*nodding* (I am getting old)...

    "- *In shock LS falls backward off chair nearly decapitating himself*"

    LOL LOL LOL LOL I know it's rare....I hope you didn't decapitate yourself; we need your brains...

    "- I can’t help it you keep raising these issues…"

    LOL moi?!!

    "By the way girl have you noticed my new playground? A new blog for you dear…by popular demand"

    I have, and I love it!!! *Maxxxx...come out and playyyyy!* LOL....

    ReplyDelete

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