Letter to America

Max Coutinho
Av. Da República nº 9, 14º andar
1600-205 Lisboa
Portugal
Tel: 351 98 293 06 09

26th of October, 2008

Dear United States of America,

It is with great joy that I pen down this missive to you, which I hope it finds you enjoying of good wealth health (please, do pardon my temporarily lack of sensibility; I am quite aware of the economic & financial constraints you are experiencing right now… and if there is something that I can do for you, and yours, please do not hesitate to request for our aid – times are harsh on everybody, but what are friends for?).

I have been receiving news about the upcoming Presidential elections there: you must be tremendously excited about it! I also learned that for the very first time you are having a black candidate…oops; pardon my European nature once again; I meant Afro-American candidate (although I do not understand why you insist on designating Black people nés [1] in your country as Afro…darling, they are not African, they don’t even behave like Africans! *Sigh* it seems to me that you need to stop labelling people according to the melanin levels in their skin : it is so tiresome!)…anyway, I must say that this represents a huge social advance: I am so proud of you, dear!
It was not too long time ago (more or less 40 years, I believe) when you experienced serious Human Rights issues, when you insisted that only Caucasians were competent enough to participate in the designs of the nation; that Black people served only to serve...but let’s not linger on your stark past, you repented and now you are trying to do the right thing – well done *wink*!

Last week, I had tea with Angela Dorothea and she told me about a political lady (although this was not exactly the title she used when referring to her) from Alaska, of whom she spoke harshly: it seems like she is a bit of a half wit (the interviews she gives are the latest laughing stock here in Europe, for she doesn’t seem to understand the questions asked to her, and when she proposes herself to reply any it is never quite related to the subject at hand; she possesses little culture, poor thing; and the latest gaffe is her lack of notion of what the term “pre-conditions” means); there are rumours that she is involved in several scandals (I even found an interesting blog whose author took the time to make a summary of her public derailment); she defends that creationism should be taught in schools; and she is quite adverse to scientific progress...tell me, is this true? Is it possible to have such a political candidate in your universe?

You do know how much I admire you, darling! Your life style has contaminated the whole world - over consumerism, leasing, credit cards debt; you turned getting fat into an International Fashion Show – Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, Pizza Hut; you put information on the hands on the entire world – Microsoft, Google, Internet Explorer, Chrome, iPhone.

Before leaving, I’d like to tell you to stand proud, for despite all your flaws you are still the example of a true democracy and the world’s number one potency [but if you don’t vote properly; on November 4; you will put in risk your hegemony]!

Sincerely Yours,
Max Coutinho


I now strongly encourage you to read the Missive to America of a person that I vehemently endorse: LS!


[1] Nés: French verb in the participle tense, gender: masculine, form: plural; signifying “born”.