Me Young You Old, You Young Me Old



Love is a magical feeling: it brings light into the household of darkness; it bestows upon you happiness; it softens the hardest of hearts; it melts the iciest of beings and helps us to evolve.
Love ignores the boundaries of age.

However, society has managed, once again, to express its bigotry, lack of sensibility; poor judgment and, foment sexism even when it comes to feelings.

Who the bloody hell decided that a lady (let's say, in her 40's or more) should not be involved with young men (for example, in their 20's or 30's)? Moreover, why are they labelled as cougars or pumas when they do so?
We all know that whenever a lady falls in love with a younger man, people will either say "Oh, he's after her money" or "Oh, he's seeking for adventure with a more experienced woman" or even "What a waste! So many beautiful young ladies around, and he chose to be involved with an old bad".
Let's analyse these ridiculous sentences:

"Oh, he's after her money" - that's what they said, in India, when a young man (of +/- 40 years old) got married to a 96-year old lady; but it turned out that she was not even rich...well, she was not even a middle-class citizen. Is it possible that Love might've been the key factor here?
I do not deny the existence of cases where young men do marry big fortunes for the sake of fortune; however I do reject the idea of pre-judging a relationship solely based on age disparity.
"Oh, he's seeking adventure with a more experienced woman" - this sentence is utterly demodé, for there are 18-year old girls (and I am being generous here) who are more "experienced" than my granny, my mother and I put together.
"What a waste! So many beautiful young ladies around and he chose to be involved with an old bag!" - first of all, why is dating an older woman a "waste"? Second, who commanded that simply because one is young one must like young people? Third, "old bag" is another obsolete concept for I know ladies who look much much better than many girls in their 20's.

Today's young ladies seem to enjoy cultivating their futile side; they seem to find it interesting to be shallow and immature whose notion of quality time is to catch gonorrhoea in their throats by performing oral sex in every being with a penis.
Older women seem to be more interesting, more selective, more creative, more powerful (and power can be an incredible aphrodisiac).




Whenever a man marries a younger woman he receives no label, he is simply a man marrying a younger lady. Nevertheless, the wife doesn't escape the silly assumptions some people make...such as "Oh, she married his money!" or "She's looking for a father" or "Oh, she must be really good in bed" or even "she's a black widow".
Yes, some older men marry younger women for the sex only; yes, some women marry old men for their money; yes, some marry each other for social-status reasons; yes, some women are indeed black widows and, yes; some are (in fact) looking for a father figure in their husbands...and then there are those who actually marry for love, care and/or respect, companionship. So what? In what will meddling in these people's life and making stupid comments about their relationship enrich our intellect or spirit?

The He-old She-young/She-old He-young question is daft and a complete waste of time. As long as the involved young people are not underaged; what they do, whom they choose to sleep or marry with and, the reasons why they do so is none of our business (specially if they are not family members).

A cliche is in order here:

Live and let live!


Image I: Amorous Old Woman & Young Man by Lucas Chranach the Elder
Image II: Old Man & Young Woman by Lucas Chranach the Elder

Comments

  1. Hi Max! You pointed it out so well. I don't know why people think of love last (or do they ever?) in this kind of relationship.

    I'm glad you're back and I'm happy to hear you were able to rest. I missed ya. :)

    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  2. After reading your post, I really don't know what to say....I just can't agree more with your thoughts, which are so true...Its right we view things from some pre-conceived notions, rather than judging on a case to case basis...our society has always been hypocritical regarding these issues and even the media sometimes highlight them in a derogatory sense...Yes there may be some exceptions here and there but that should not hamper in our judgment process...we should give people the spaces they deserve...relationships are something which doesn't follow any notion or can't be expressed in a few words....Its something deep and just happen....Well written!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Max,

    You have quality posts in your site. May I exchange links with you?

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ciao Max,

    I was married to an older woman for more than 15 years. I knew happiness and when she died her memory helped me to get by, because of what she used to be.
    Before marrying her I was successful and very rich but I wouldn't find anybody so challenging, in everyway, as she was.

    Well...Max, I don't understand the fuss!

    Good to have you back, girl :)!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey Liza :D!

    I don't know why people think of love last either, darling...perhaps they are so disappointed at their lack of capability to feel love that they think that everybody is like them, who knows? *nodding*

    I missed you too :D!

    Liza, thanks for your visit and comment :D!

    Cheers and hugs

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Kalyan :D!

    Welcome back, man: you were missed :D!

    "our society has always been hypocritical regarding these issues and even the media sometimes highlight them in a derogatory sense...Yes there may be some exceptions here and there but that should not hamper in our judgment process...we should give people the spaces they deserve.."

    So true. The media supports this type of hypocritical behaviour and intellectual vomit *nodding*, and the society is more than willing to be bathed by the puke - which perplexes me.

    "relationships are something which doesn't follow any notion or can't be expressed in a few words....Its something deep and just happen...."

    Exactly, exactly!

    "Well written!"

    Thank you, my friend *bowing*!

    Kalyan, thank you so much for having shared your thoughts with us :D! I loved them!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hello April :D!

    Welcome to the MAX!

    Why, thank you *bowing*! You may exchange links with me, yes...I'd be honoured!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ciao Dux :D!

    "I was married to an older woman for more than 15 years. I knew happiness and when she died her memory helped me to get by, because of what she used to be."

    Aww, this is so beautiful *moved face*! I am sure she is watching over you :).

    "Before marrying her I was successful and very rich but I wouldn't find anybody so challenging, in everyway, as she was."

    I can understand that. And your example serves to show that some people are foolish when they repeat garbage-stereotypes.

    "Well...Max, I don't understand the fuss!"

    Perhaps these people (who label women & men and create a stupid fuss about nothing) are jealous of others' happiness and love...I don't know *shrugging*.

    "Good to have you back, girl :)!"

    Thank you so much, my friend *bowing* :)!

    Dux Probus, thank you for sharing your gorgeous personal story with us (I appreciated it) :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Max,

    People tend to ridicule what they fear or do not understand. Love has many faces thus confusing & scary. Albeit, no one has the right to prejudge people's feelings nor to pre-empt their motives.
    Sometimes all a person is looking for, in another human fellow, is a good conversation.

    Welcome back, Max!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi! Hoping you're a happy little vegemite!

    Conformity and upholding tradition may be the reason people scoff at the idea of others seperated by time and looks hooking up.

    Well, to them I say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you don't like what you see, bugger off!"

    Take Care,
    Peter

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey C.C. :D!

    I couldn't agree more with you! Very well said! :D

    Thanks, it is good to be back! :)

    Circulus Ciceronis, thank you so much for having shared your thoughts with us :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Peter :D!

    "Hoping you're a happy little vegemite!"

    You know I am! lol :)
    Thanks!

    "Conformity and upholding tradition may be the reason people scoff at the idea of others seperated by time and looks hooking up."

    That is a good explanation for it...

    "Well, to them I say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you don't like what you see, bugger off!""

    LOL LOL Amen to that, mate!! lol

    Peter, thank you ever so much for this awesome comment :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hello Max,

    Thank you for the link. Much appreciated.

    I shall come visit every now and then for more intellectual exercises. :)

    Have a great weekend!

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Max! We have been out all day and are leaving again, just when I thought I was going to read your post. I'll be back!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hey April!

    You are most welcome, darling!

    Know that your presence here will always be much appreciated and welcome :D!

    Thanks, and have a great weekend yourself!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi Lynda :D!!

    It's ok, darling...whenever you're ready ;)!

    Cheerio

    ReplyDelete
  17. It's funny to see some stereotypes don't change. Life is pretty free in most countries nowadays and a lot of things that were tabooed before and now fine. Yet, some taboo remain...

    A man married a younger woman will be admired. A woman marrying a younger man will be pitied. After all, as you say, it's for the money, isn't it?

    Stupid...

    My mother is actually two years older than my father. My friends used to find it weird when I mentioned the fact!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Max:

    I’ve got to agree with you on this one—live and let live. That’s always been my motto, and it will always be my motto. Having said that, however, bring on the young women! LOL.

    I understand you completely. If an older woman marries a younger man, or even dates a younger man, the critics seem to crawl out of their dark holes and attack as if it’s their job to monitor the relationships between the sexes. To us enlightened ones, their attacks appear to be irrational. But upon deeper scrutiny, I think there’s a tad of jealousy behind the complainers. They want what you have, and if they can’t have it, they will complain about it---ad nauseam. I believe that goes for both sexes.

    Of course, those kinds of complaints aren’t just directed at older women. Older men with younger women often conjure up the same venomous criticism---even from other guys. Robbing the cradle, etc. This is especially true when guys are young. I can personally remember when I was a young teenager and a girl I liked started dating a guy a few years older than me. I was furious. Why on earth would she want someone older? But, of course, as I grew older I began to understand more of the dynamics between men and women. Older men typically appeal to the younger woman’s need for attention, whereas younger men are more self-involved. Older women probably know how to stroke a younger man’s ego as well.

    There are plenty of extreme examples, of course. For instance, who was that blond who married that eighty-four-year-old millionaire? Everybody screamed “gold digger.” People were ready to burn her at the stake. I can’t remember her name—she died and there was a custody battle for her baby. Anyway, I consider that an extreme case. But even if she did marry him for his loot, so what? Is that any of my business, or anybody else’s business? I think not. For another example, a personal friend of mine was always attracted to older women. I could never understand it. He finally married a woman who was about nineteen years his senior. Now he’s fifty-five and she’s seventy-four. Her family came out of the woodwork screaming when they got married. But they did as they leased anyway, and why not? They’re divorced now, but they still live together. I’m vexed. But, again, my friend’s romantic life is none of my business.

    One slight problem I do have with couples with extreme disparate ages is kids. I don’t think they should have any. I recently heard of a woman who had a child at the ripe age of sixty. Now that’s just cruel. No kid I ever knew wanted his mother to die. Plus, the poor kid could have any number of terrible age-related genetic defects.

    The bottom line is that relationships between the sexes are as complicated as the universe itself. And personally, I think, as you said, we should just mind our own business and live and let live.

    Great topic my friend.

    Happy trails.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Very well said. And just like what I say to people when they get a bit annoying checking on others' lives - 'Live and let live' ;o)

    ReplyDelete
  20. What a powerful post!!! Well, I find that there are so many stigmas in the world...in some culture I find that it is easier to say "this" or "that" 'coz it's already rooted in their system. It's not easy to shake it off. One has to have an open mind to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wonderful post, Max! I agree with you wholeheartedly. Society needs to hear and exchange more rational, critical thinking like this, and to rid itself of the at-best, ridiculous, and at-worst, destructive, proclivity for labeling and shallow assumptions. Not only is formulaic thinking limited, it can be downright destructive!

    Especially when it comes to love and art, there are (or should be) no rules for those who have come of age.

    Bravo for a great post!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Max, love is a complicated thing, and what I think about love is written in my other blog "Palavras Depressivas", look for "Sobre o amor", a poem I made in which I try to explain love according to my point of view.

    "The He-old She-young/She-old He-young question is daft and a complete waste of time."

    I agree! My last date was 19 and I was 40. When someone started to criticize I would say "It's my life so mind your own business". That's it!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Well your last line sums it up best Max, unfortunately society as a whole is quick to pass judgement, how sad. You have a lot of common sense and wisdom beyond your years, that's why I like your stuff and usually why I say amen after all your posts,lol.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thank you sweetie. I'm good! I ope yo are too and I wish you a terrific week.

    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hey Max, now I know why I like reading your posts, lol, you start nice, and then you nail everyone to the ground lol, with your point, and you do have a point all the time. You know I never understood that too. My hobby is younger than me by 1.5 years, my older sister's husband is 10 years younger, and my dad's sister married 10 years younger one too, and we are all happy...I am sure comments been made, but who cares. Older women are more mature, and yes in control. Wow Max dear you always surprise me with those interesting posts, you are the true citizen of the world. Anna :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hey Zhu :D!

    "It's funny to see some stereotypes don't change. Life is pretty free in most countries nowadays and a lot of things that were tabooed before and now fine. Yet, some taboo remain..."

    True...

    "A man married a younger woman will be admired. A woman marrying a younger man will be pitied. After all, as you say, it's for the money, isn't it? Stupid..."

    *nodding in agreement*!

    "My mother is actually two years older than my father. My friends used to find it weird when I mentioned the fact!"

    :D! They did? I'd like to know if they still find it weird today (or even in a few years lol) ;)...

    Zhu, I hope you are feeling better :); and thank you so much for your input (I loved it) :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hey Swu :D!

    "Having said that, however, bring on the young women! LOL."

    LOL LOL LOL....

    "To us enlightened ones, their attacks appear to be irrational. But upon deeper scrutiny, I think there’s a tad of jealousy behind the complainers. They want what you have, and if they can’t have it, they will complain about it---ad nauseam. I believe that goes for both sexes."

    I totally agree with you! They will complain and criticise, which is sad really.

    Older men with younger women often conjure up the same venomous criticism---even from other guys. Robbing the cradle, etc. This is especially true when guys are young."

    You are right. I have witnessed this as well...

    "I can personally remember when I was a young teenager and a girl I liked started dating a guy a few years older than me. I was furious. Why on earth would she want someone older? But, of course, as I grew older I began to understand more of the dynamics between men and women."

    LOL LOL you don't say? I remember when I was about 14, I was telling a guy how I found Val Kilmer dead gorgeous (yes, I was out of my mind) and he was furious and started saying that I was looking for a "daddy" or something like that...at that time I didn't know that the poor thing had feelings for me and somehow was feeling threatened *nodding*...

    "Older men typically appeal to the younger woman’s need for attention, whereas younger men are more self-involved. Older women probably know how to stroke a younger man’s ego as well."

    I see exactly what you mean...

    "For instance, who was that blond who married that eighty-four-year-old millionaire? Everybody screamed “gold digger.” People were ready to burn her at the stake. I can’t remember her name—she died and there was a custody battle for her baby."

    Aaaah, what was her name? I think it was Anne Nicole (or something like that)...yeah, people said all sorts of things (I found them ridiculous, because only the couple knew why they had married, and it was their business not ours).

    "But even if she did marry him for his loot, so what?"

    Exactly!

    "For another example, a personal friend of mine was always attracted to older women. I could never understand it. He finally married a woman who was about nineteen years his senior. Now he’s fifty-five and she’s seventy-four. Her family came out of the woodwork screaming when they got married. But they did as they leased anyway, and why not? They’re divorced now, but they still live together. I’m vexed. But, again, my friend’s romantic life is none of my business."

    I find this story endearing, and the way they handled it after the divorce...very contemporary and respectful: I am impressed.
    True, Swu, true...

    "One slight problem I do have with couples with extreme disparate ages is kids. I don’t think they should have any."

    Hmm...it depends: if the guy is 20 and the lady 40, yeah...they can still have kids. But if the lady is 60, I personally do not think it is fair to the child. Now, when the mother is young and the dad is 90...well, how fair is that to the child?

    "I recently heard of a woman who had a child at the ripe age of sixty. Now that’s just cruel. No kid I ever knew wanted his mother to die. Plus, the poor kid could have any number of terrible age-related genetic defects."

    I had a classmate whose mom had had him when she was 63 - can you imagine?
    The age-related genetic defects is a risk, indeed.

    "The bottom line is that relationships between the sexes are as complicated as the universe itself. And personally, I think, as you said, we should just mind our own business and live and let live."

    We are on the same page, my friend.

    "Great topic my friend."

    Thanks :D!

    Swu, thank you ever so much for this awesome comment; it is always a pleasure to hear your thoughts :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hi Abelle :D!

    "Very well said. And just like what I say to people when they get a bit annoying checking on others' lives - 'Live and let live' ;o)"

    Thank you *bowing*! LOL absolutely!

    Abelle, thanks for your input :D! I hope all is well with you, girl!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hey Amel :D!

    "What a powerful post!!!"

    Thank you *bowing*!

    "Well, I find that there are so many stigmas in the world...in some culture I find that it is easier to say "this" or "that" 'coz it's already rooted in their system. It's not easy to shake it off. One has to have an open mind to do so"

    True, but systems exist to be stirred and changed lol ;). Nevertheless, I know what you mean, girl!

    Amelia, thank you so much for having shared your thoughts on this :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi Lynda :D!

    "Wonderful post, Max!"

    Thank you, darling *bowing*!

    "I agree with you wholeheartedly. Society needs to hear and exchange more rational, critical thinking like this, and to rid itself of the at-best, ridiculous, and at-worst, destructive, proclivity for labeling and shallow assumptions. Not only is formulaic thinking limited, it can be downright destructive!"

    Well said!! *applause*
    The media can be society's worst enemy: they spread this trashy theories, they teach people how to be shallow and they tell kids it is cool to be superficial, stupid, brainless and mainly disrespectful. TV channels like E! are preposterous...

    "Especially when it comes to love and art, there are (or should be) no rules for those who have come of age."

    Agreed!

    "Bravo for a great post!"

    Thank you so much, my dear friend *bowing*!

    Lynda, thank you so so much for your excellent comment :D! It is always a pleasure to have you here, sharing your wisdom with us!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hey Cidão :D!

    "Max, love is a complicated thing, and what I think about love is written in my other blog "Palavras Depressivas", look for "Sobre o amor", a poem I made in which I try to explain love according to my point of view."

    I must visit that blog! I'll read your poem: thanks :D!
    I am much interested on your thoughts on love, gato!

    "[The He-old She-young/She-old He-young question is daft and a complete waste of time.] I agree! My last date was 19 and I was 40. When someone started to criticize I would say "It's my life so mind your own business". That's it!"

    You did well! Because it is none of people's business indeed! :)

    Cidão, crazy wolf, thanks a million for your input; and I will visit your other blog ;)!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hey Bob :D!

    "Well your last line sums it up best Max, unfortunately society as a whole is quick to pass judgement, how sad. You have a lot of common sense and wisdom beyond your years, that's why I like your stuff and usually why I say amen after all your posts,lol."

    It is sad indeed, Lord of the Astrostuff *nodding*. Why, thank you (that is very kind of you) *bowing*! lol you do? Now, I was not expecting that...thanks for sharing it :D!

    Bob, thank you ever so much for your kindness and support; I treasure it :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  33. Liza,

    "Thank you sweetie. I'm good! I ope yo are too and I wish you a terrific week."

    Aaah, that is great! What a relief :D!
    Yes, I am well too (thank God)! Thanks, love; you too!

    *Hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hey Anna :D!

    "Hey Max, now I know why I like reading your posts, lol, you start nice, and then you nail everyone to the ground lol, with your point, and you do have a point all the time."

    LOL LOL oh my, now that you put it like that..."nail everyone to the ground"..perhaps I should take it easy LOL ;).

    "You know I never understood that too. My hobby is younger than me by 1.5 years, my older sister's husband is 10 years younger, and my dad's sister married 10 years younger one too, and we are all happy...I am sure comments been made, but who cares."

    Oooh, that is beautiful! Of course you are happy, why wouldn't you be? Society needs to understand that happiness is not about the age, or social status...it is about loving life and accepting it as it presents to us; right?
    Who cares indeed? I wish you and your family supreme happiness for many years to come and after: God bless :D!

    "Older women are more mature, and yes in control. Wow Max dear you always surprise me with those interesting posts, you are the true citizen of the world."

    They are. lol Anna, you will make me blush one of these days...I am telling you! lol...
    Thank you for your generosity *hug*!

    Anna, my delightful friend: thank you so much for sharing your personal experience and for your kindness & friendship :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hey Max, you said: 'Society needs to understand that happiness is not about the age, or social status...it is about loving life and accepting it as it presents to us; right?' - right, right so right :))) my friend. Have a good weekend. Anna :)

    ReplyDelete
  36. ROFL ROFL ROFL

    You are a treasure! I love it when you get all passionate like that!

    So how old is he.....? LOL LOL

    I gift you....
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHqWSixhZWM

    and....
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JK2hKzZss5Y

    Hey your word verification is “OldGuysRock”

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hey Anna,

    Thank you, I did have a great weekend :D!

    Have a great week, ahead :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hey LSus :D!

    "ROFL ROFL ROFL"

    ROFL....

    "You are a treasure! I love it when you get all passionate like that!"

    LOL thanks, LSus *bowing*! I didn't realise I had got passionate...but if I did and you loved it, then I am glad :) *bowing*!

    "So how old is he.....? LOL LOL"

    ROFL ROFL he is 75...LOL LOL LOL I am joking: he is more or less my age.

    Thank you for the gifts: I loved "Black Widow"...what a song!! I had never heard it before (I wasn't much of a Cranberries' fan; so I didn't follow Dolores' career after she left the group). But I like this song! :D

    Ah, "Live and let die" I love this song!!!!! I used to listen to the Guns N' Roses version: also very good (if not better)!!

    "Hey your word verification is “OldGuysRock”"

    LOL LOL LOL get outta here!

    LSus, thank you so much for your words of encouragement and your gifts: I loved them :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Dissecting Society welcomes all sorts of comments, as we are strong advocates of freedom of speech; however, we reserve the right to delete Troll Activity; libellous and offensive comments (e.g. racist and anti-Semitic) plus those with excessive foul language. This blog does not view vulgarity as being protected by the right to free speech. Cheers