It is often said that if women ruled the world there wouldn’t be any wars. I totally disagree with this theory, for women make some sort of war everyday of their lives (most just haven’t had the chance to transport it into a bigger scenario yet).
Let’s take a glance at a particular type of female that has been declaring war against steady relationships for ages.
A steady boyfriend: a couple is dating for two years and a half. Their relationship is beautiful and dreamy! However, the two lovebirds are being lurked by a predator…
A tall, slim, blonde vamp studies the sweet boyfriend, and decides that in order to play with him she has to make friends with his girlfriend. What a better way to do so than to meet her in her daily jogging sessions and engage in a friendly conversation…two months later they become the best of mates. For the sake of a healthy sexual life the vamp convinces her mate to bring along her boyfriend; who accepts just to indulge his girlfriend…
In a blink of an eye the vamp gets him in her entangled web and the former sweet boyfriend gradually becomes cold, distant, nightmarish towards his girl…
A betrothed man: an engagement party is taking place in a family home. The couple is as happy as they could be! The bride-to-be is proudly showing-off her engagement ring to every woman in the party, except to one: her cousin (who has her eyes set on the groom-to-be).
The dearest cousin approaches the betrothed man and sprays her charms all over him…she giggles at everything he says; she takes the crams of hors-d’oeuvres from the corners of his mouth; she fetches drinks for him (yes, when chasing their prey women tend to reveal themselves as the most efficient of servants…even the most feminist ones) and continuously touches his arm when talking…however he keeps looking at his fiancée: his eyes follow every move she makes; his ears probe every laughter she fills the air with; his mouth can still taste their last kiss; his nose captures her scent only; and his hands crave for her skin…he leaves the shameless cousin talking by herself and walks towards his future wife.
A married man: he’s happily married to his wife for 10 years now. They have 2 lovely kids. One day coming out of the office his friends invite him for drinks; he accepts the invitation since his wife is having her friends over for dinner.
At the bar, he’s having a good time, when he notices a hot red haired woman looking at him. At first he ignores her, but then he begins to feel intrigued by this mysterious red head. He sends signs and she approaches him; they start talking. She lures him into her field of lust and keeps him there until she’s had enough of him. But before letting him go, she’ll make sure that she has ruined another family-home, for after all she suffers from MWD (Marriage-Wreck Disorder) – her hobby is to select married men, use them, ruin their lives and then dump them as if they were recyclable waste.
It is common knowledge that we differ from animals due to our comprehension of feelings (like love and passion) and values (such as friendship, respect and loyalty). This being said, it can be defended that betrayal is inherent to humans. Others can argue that insinuation, provocation and availability are the factors that contribute to emotional disruptions; or that the primordial instinct tells a male not to turn his back to the game, otherwise his manhood can be on the verge of being threatened.
What is your opinion?
Let’s take a glance at a particular type of female that has been declaring war against steady relationships for ages.
A steady boyfriend: a couple is dating for two years and a half. Their relationship is beautiful and dreamy! However, the two lovebirds are being lurked by a predator…
A tall, slim, blonde vamp studies the sweet boyfriend, and decides that in order to play with him she has to make friends with his girlfriend. What a better way to do so than to meet her in her daily jogging sessions and engage in a friendly conversation…two months later they become the best of mates. For the sake of a healthy sexual life the vamp convinces her mate to bring along her boyfriend; who accepts just to indulge his girlfriend…
In a blink of an eye the vamp gets him in her entangled web and the former sweet boyfriend gradually becomes cold, distant, nightmarish towards his girl…
A betrothed man: an engagement party is taking place in a family home. The couple is as happy as they could be! The bride-to-be is proudly showing-off her engagement ring to every woman in the party, except to one: her cousin (who has her eyes set on the groom-to-be).
The dearest cousin approaches the betrothed man and sprays her charms all over him…she giggles at everything he says; she takes the crams of hors-d’oeuvres from the corners of his mouth; she fetches drinks for him (yes, when chasing their prey women tend to reveal themselves as the most efficient of servants…even the most feminist ones) and continuously touches his arm when talking…however he keeps looking at his fiancée: his eyes follow every move she makes; his ears probe every laughter she fills the air with; his mouth can still taste their last kiss; his nose captures her scent only; and his hands crave for her skin…he leaves the shameless cousin talking by herself and walks towards his future wife.
A married man: he’s happily married to his wife for 10 years now. They have 2 lovely kids. One day coming out of the office his friends invite him for drinks; he accepts the invitation since his wife is having her friends over for dinner.
At the bar, he’s having a good time, when he notices a hot red haired woman looking at him. At first he ignores her, but then he begins to feel intrigued by this mysterious red head. He sends signs and she approaches him; they start talking. She lures him into her field of lust and keeps him there until she’s had enough of him. But before letting him go, she’ll make sure that she has ruined another family-home, for after all she suffers from MWD (Marriage-Wreck Disorder) – her hobby is to select married men, use them, ruin their lives and then dump them as if they were recyclable waste.
It is common knowledge that we differ from animals due to our comprehension of feelings (like love and passion) and values (such as friendship, respect and loyalty). This being said, it can be defended that betrayal is inherent to humans. Others can argue that insinuation, provocation and availability are the factors that contribute to emotional disruptions; or that the primordial instinct tells a male not to turn his back to the game, otherwise his manhood can be on the verge of being threatened.
What is your opinion?
My opinion? I think that men have their own free agency to choose. They make the decision whether or not to pursue the woman. I go to a buffet that has hundreds of choices, but I don't eat them all, I choose the ones I want. The woman may tempt the man, but he still has the choice whether or not he will oblige. He is not a helpless victim. :P
ReplyDeleteHow humorous!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen I posted there was no other comment to be seen!
I wrote my comment without having Delirious comment visible to me until after posting but we both refer to a buffet!!!!!!
fascinating
ReplyDeleteHello D,
ReplyDelete" They make the decision whether or not to pursue the woman. I go to a buffet that has hundreds of choices, but I don't eat them all, I choose the ones I want." - LOL LOL marvellous comparison, I loved it *clap clap* lol...
I agree with you; I think that men should be mentally strong enough to resist to temptation. Of course, not all of them eat everything that comes to their plate (Thank God); but the majority is very notorious when it comes to sexual temptation *nodding*...
"The woman may tempt the man, but he still has the choice whether or not he will oblige. He is not a helpless victim. :P" - lovely!!! I agree :D.
Thank you so much for your comment, Delirious; it was a true pleasure reading it :D!
Cheers
LS;
ReplyDeleteLOL How humorous indeed lol...
"I wrote my comment without having Delirious comment visible to me until after posting but we both refer to a buffet!!!!!! " - LOL yeah, I noticed it. I read her comment first; and then when I read yours I thought "oh, my...everybody is in the mood for a buffet today" LOL...
Do you think this means that sex is related with food?
Cheers
Hello Sandy,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much *bowing*!
Cheers
MWD. It's the Devil in disguise.
ReplyDelete~Oswegan
Hey, Max, My Girl!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's always a PLEASURE to read your views on men versus women he he he he he he...
Funnily enough you almost always make me speechless ha ha ha ha ha...but anyway, I LOVE this post! :-)))
All I wanna say is that I'm gonna do whatever I can to keep my man feel satisfied and intrigued by me so that when there are other options out there, he won't even think about them for one second he he he...
Scott,
ReplyDeleteIndeed, MWD is evil in disguise *nodding*!
Thanks for your input :)!
Cheers
Hey, Girl :D!!!
ReplyDeletelol thank you, Amelia *bowing*! And you know that it is a true pleasure to read your comments on it :D.
"Funnily enough you almost always make me speechless ha ha ha ha ha...but anyway, I LOVE this post! :-)))" - LOL that is not an easy task :). Thank you, darling; I am glad you liked it *bow*!
You go, girl!!! You do well keeping your man satisfied and intrigued by you; creativity must never be put aside (that's the secret to keep the fire burning...that's what I hear from the African advisors lol)!
A friend of mine told me that if a man is satisfied at home he won't look for what he has at home outside....true/myth? I don't know, but it makes sense ;D.
Cheers, beautiful!
Max, boy you got the imagination, and knowing the man, woman, watching all these shows, movies, I to sometimes find myself in situation what if any of the two situations happened. But then why think that way, why not think - I want live to the moment, when me and my hobby, hardly walking at the normal speed, still holding hands, kissing those wrinkled lips, smiling at the passing people, and helping each other to finish the ever long walk, lol, yes why not divert yourself into the unconditional love. I think as individuals we know that things can be deceiving around, and as a couple we should always watch out for each other, and remind ourselves that what we have can never be replaced. As women can be deceiving, man can be too, as man can be deceived, women can be too. Max, another great and creative post. Anna :)
ReplyDeleteAnna,
ReplyDeleteLOL LOL me?! Imagination? LOL :D. Yes, I guess I can say that I am creative, why not? :).
I know what you mean, darling: one who is living a blissful life, full of love and companionship does not wish to think what if this or that would happen...
However, the more I look at people the more I become more puzzled: both men and women can be rather deceiving (as you said); but I tend to demand more of women since we are the guardians of the Humanity (well, we are supposed to be). Of course there will always be women/men who live to ruin other people's lives; but what I see nowadays is that this number seems to be increasing (or perhaps all hell broke loose, and they are doing things more openly...who knows?); and I find it rather shocking *nodding*. I know, I think too much; but that's what MAX is all about (to observe, analyse and comment lol)!
Oh, that is so cute: "you and your hubby hardly walking at the normal speed, still holding hands, kissing those wrinkled lips, smiling at the passing people, and helping each other to finish the ever long walk, lol, yes why not divert yourself into the unconditional love."...what a marvellous scenario *tender face*! That is what I call love, real love...God blessed you :)!
"and as a couple we should always watch out for each other, and remind ourselves that what we have can never be replaced." - lovely; this is just lovely :D.
"As women can be deceiving, man can be too, as man can be deceived, women can be too." - true, true...:D.
Thank you so much for your extremely interesting comment, Anna: I loved it (it was a pleasure reading it) *bowing*!
May God be with you always :)!
Cheers
Hey no problem my dear.
ReplyDeleteBTW you said: 'However, the more I look at people the more I become more puzzled: both men and women can be rather deceiving (as you said); but I tend to demand more of women since we are the guardians of the Humanity (well, we are supposed to be). Of course there will always be women/men who live to ruin other people's lives; but what I see nowadays is that this number seems to be increasing (or perhaps all hell broke loose, and they are doing things more openly...who knows?); and I find it rather shocking *nodding*. I know, I think too much; but that's what MAX is all about (to observe, analyse and comment lol)!' - yes that is what MAX is all about and MAX is right, and I hear you girl.
Great posts encourage great comments, and more great comments, thanks Max, Anna :)
I was about to use the "buffet" metaphor myself but it's taken! :D
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, thinking of your first sentence, I don't think women are more peaceful than men. They are just more organized in their revenge... more cold blood I guess. So they plan better and don't kill a bunch of people in between (cf. wars).
My brain is frozen... that's my best comment!
Hey again, Gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteWhen you have time later, hope you don't mind doing this meme he he...
Interview Meme
Hello Anna,
ReplyDeleteWhat a pleasant start of blogger day :)! You are the first of the day :)...
Thank you for the support, darling *bowing*!
LOL Did you know that sometimes I tell people that comments, sometimes, are more interesting than the articles LOL? It's because we have such interesting conversations...it is amazing :D.
You are welcome, I am here for it :).
Thanks for the kind words *bow*.
Cheers
Salut Zhu!
ReplyDelete"was about to use the "buffet" metaphor myself but it's taken! :D " - LOL LOL LOL I know...it seems that this topic makes people think about food selection LOL *nodding*.
We agree on that one: women aren't more peaceful than men, nope *nodding*. However that's what some groups seem to defend.
"They are just more organized in their revenge... more cold blood I guess." - LOL women are organised, pragmatic by nature; it's true. But I don't know about being more cold blooded...Ok, some women are extremely cerebral, absolutely, and the way they act is scarry lol...but most aren't (unfortunately)...they are all emotional, and sometimes mess things up *nodding*.
"So they plan better and don't kill a bunch of people in between (cf. wars)." - LOL well, saying that they plan better...this could lead to a huge conversation (like why do they plan better? Where do they get those planning skills from? etc) :D. About killing a bunch of people in between, I can't say that I agree, cause they would be the planners but not the fighters per se (not always things go the way they are planned)...plus, men would do anything to smear women's image (as strategists) and mess up so that citizens would say "aha, when men were in charge this and that never happened" LOL *nodding*....humans are extremely competitive...
"My brain is frozen... that's my best comment! " - Zhu, ma cherie; it was a great comment, Thank you :D!
I can understand that your brain is frozen though...it is cold over there *Brrrrr*....
Cheers
Amelia,
ReplyDeleteLOL Hello again :)...Perhaps next week, I will complete it...but first let me take a look at it :).
Thanks for tagging me :D!
Cheers
HI Max! I totally agree with delirious. There's no such thing as "I didn't have a choice" We always do. It's just a matter of choosing whether you want to be tempted or not.
ReplyDeleteOff topic: I have a tag for you and it's up at moms (http://mlizcochico.blogspot.com) A Simple Life is having problems w/ my host. I hope it'll be fixed by tomorrow.
Take care and have a nice day.
Hello Liza! :D
ReplyDeleteI agree: humans have always a choice. They have the mental power to decide wether they want to resist or not to temptations.
Those who don't resist must be ready to face the consequences of their own actions *nodding*.
A tag for me? I will check it out :D. Thanks.
Cheers
Max,
ReplyDeleteLove the photo. I think you are very insightful. I have always believed that women start wars. Ha Ha. Think of Helen of Troy, "The face than launched a thousand ships."
It's unfortunate that some people thrive on bringing misery to others. They derive much pleasure in destroying a relationship than cultivating one of their own, (Both require the same amount of energy.)
I absolutely love, "Marriage-Wreck Disorder" LOL. LOL. LOL.
It takes two to tango and one to fall.
"It is common knowledge that we differ from animals due to our comprehension of feelings (like love and passion) and values (such as friendship, respect and loyalty)."
Geese are very loyal to their families—they mate for life and are very protective of their partners and offspring. If a goose’s mate or chicks become sick or injured, she will often refuse to leave their side, even if winter is approaching and the other geese in her group are flying south. They experience emotions just as we do—when a goose’s mate is killed or her eggs are destroyed, she will seclude herself from other geese while she mourns. After a partner dies, some geese spend the rest of their lives as widows, refusing to mate again—geese live up to 25 years.
I have personally witnessed two birds kissing each other passionately, stroking each others feathers and emanating the feeling of, "being in love." It is an amazing thing to watch.
"This being said, it can be defended that betrayal is inherent to humans."
I agree. We always think there is something better around the corner when we don't deal with any present problems in the relationship. Betrayal is always so much easier than to cope.
"Others can argue that insinuation, provocation and availability are the factors that contribute to emotional disruptions; or that the primordial instinct tells a male not to turn his back to the game, otherwise his manhood can be on the verge of being threatened."
I don't believe all men give in to their primordial urges to have as many partners as possible, but I do understand the role of a man in society to posture. Even if he doesn't want the other prey, he will still size them up, lick his lips and make a mental note. You know, just in case? (wink)
Outstanding post Max. Kudos. Standing ovation. Take a bow.
Alexys,
ReplyDeleteThanks: it is a painting by my favourite artist - Caravaggio :)! It is called Judith beheads Holofernes.
Thank you *bowing*! LOL me too, I always believed women start wars. The story of Helen is absolutely within context *bowing* (although there are a few versions of what really happened *nodding*...still for consistency purposes let's assume she willingfully did run away with Paris, betraying her husband and, thus, provoking a war).
"They derive much pleasure in destroying a relationship than cultivating one of their own, (Both require the same amount of energy.)" - you are right on this one. However life destroyers know, deep down, that having a relationship demands commitment; and perhaps they are uncapable of committing to one person, or to themselves even. They are uncapable of loving themselves (cause if you don't love yourself, how can you love somebody else?). In summa, destroyers have low self-esteem.
"I absolutely love, "Marriage-Wreck Disorder" LOL. LOL. LOL." - LOL LOL I am glad you liked it *bow*. Nowadays we have all sorts of disorders, so why not create one more LOL?
"It takes two to tango and one to fall." - I agree entirely.
Ooooh, geese are so cute :). However I thought that peacocks did that (I am always learning things *smile*). This was a great example, Alexys: thank you :). They are animals, and yet more loyal than most humans...how about that? I could say that we should learn from them; but loyalty is something that is born with us; it can't be taught...
"I have personally witnessed two birds kissing each other passionately, stroking each others feathers and emanating the feeling of, "being in love." It is an amazing thing to watch." - :D But do they have the conscience of love, or is it simply their bodies telling them that they have to do that in order to mate? Perhaps we, humans, decide to perceive it as "being in love"....
"I agree. We always think there is something better around the corner when we don't deal with any present problems in the relationship. Betrayal is always so much easier than to cope." - yes, people run away from confrontation at all levels; bluntly exposing their weaknesses...so sad *nodding*.
"I don't believe all men give in to their primordial urges to have as many partners as possible, but I do understand the role of a man in society to posture." - thank God, not all men are dogs! But yes, society demands manly posture *nodding*. I think it is time for society to re-design its behaviourial rules...
"Even if he doesn't want the other prey, he will still size them up, lick his lips and make a mental note. You know, just in case? (wink)" - LOL LOL true; but women also do that. In fact women are experts in sizing men, licking their own lips and making mental notes LOL LOL...
Thank you so much, Alexys *bowing, bowing*!!!
Great comment: thank you, dear :D!
Cheers
Ah, Caravaggio, I have always loved that name.
ReplyDeleteI agree that there are various versions of Helen of Troy. (Most people don't realize it, but of course you are far too intelligent not to know that. Good for you for catching it.) It depends on how far one goes back in one's research. Hollywood would have us believe that Helen fell in love with Paris and willingly went with him, but knowing the fierce history of the Greeks, it doesn't seem so clear cut. Even when the story is translated from the original language of Greek, if the translator omitted one key word, it changes the meaning entirely. (I know since you are bilingual and learning German and you may even a ployglot, that you know one word can alter a meaning. You're too clever not to know.)
"In summa, destroyers have low self-esteem."
No self-esteem. No sense of love. No sense of honor.
"But do they have the conscience of love, or is it simply their bodies telling them that they have to do that in order to mate? Perhaps we, humans, decide to perceive it as "being in love"...."
If you would have seen their faces, their tender gestures, you would only construe it as the feeling we have when we are in love. It was very real. You had to see it though to understand what I saw. It was pure beauty.
"I think it is time for society to re-design its behaviourial rules..."
Yes. Yes. Yes.
"In fact women are experts in sizing men, licking their own lips and making mental notes."
Agreed!
Max, you are just too cool.
Hi! This is my take on things. I ask myself why does this type of thing happen?
ReplyDeleteTo start with, I do believe that the majority of women, taking into consideration their maternal instincts, once having taken a life time partner or lover will do almost anything to foster and nourish the relationship, even in times of continual conflict.
Having said that, continual conflict can only last for so long. Females, as well as males, can grow tired of this and out of desperation may look to others outside of their relationship that promise to give them the attention that they so desperately seek. No matter what it takes and giving no thought as to what it may cost them in the end.
On the other hand, perhaps a particular female will resort to getting in the way of a relationship as a result of having experienced a break up herself at the hands of the other woman. In her anger she then attempts to create havoc by seeking out innocent victims, as she once was, to gain some sought of primeval self-gratification.
If none of the above, perhaps they’re just plain bad and blame their behaviour on their parents who also had loose morals.
As for women ruling the world, I think it’s time for a change. Taking into account man’s long history for violence and revenge, I do believe women would do a better job of things.
Regards
Peter
Ahaha, so true!
ReplyDeletehttp://zexk.blogspot.com/
Hallo Max :-) It's always amazed me how you and LS can discuss in long comments LOL...
ReplyDeleteMen needs their wives' prayers, that's what I believe. I try my best to be his best friend and give all respect he needs so he will not search in 'other places' :-) Women need love while Men need respect, are you agree with me?
Btw, Max, I have done your tag..I answered it by a song! Hope you enjoy it.
Alexys,
ReplyDeleteLOL yes, Caravaggio is a gorgeous name indeed :D.
Most people are quite content with the "romantic" (cause even this may have several readings) side of Helen's story *nodding*. Yes, it just doesn't make much sense that a war would be started just because a man was abandoned...no, humans aren't like that (not even stalkers lol); that war stemmed from the fact that she was abducted from the house of her husband, and humiliated by Paris (if I were a man, this would be a valid reason to fight)...
True, if one word is not well understood, or even cut out in translation; it changes the whole meaning of the text. That is why, when I make translations I inhale the spirit of the text at hand and then I begin to translate. I do not move forward before I fully understand the spirit of the story (this is very important, so that the meaning won't be lost).
"No self-esteem. No sense of love. No sense of honor." - sense of honour, that's the exact term! If one doesn't have sense of honour, one has nothing...what a shame *nodding*.
"If you would have seen their faces, their tender gestures, you would only construe it as the feeling we have when we are in love. It was very real. You had to see it though to understand what I saw. It was pure beauty." - oooh, how cute :). Then I must yield: love is everywhere :).
LOL LOL LOL I just love us, girls lol :D.
"Max, you are just too cool." - look who's talking :D! You are pretty cool yourself, sista :).
Thank you for the kind words *bowing*!
Cheers
Hello Peter :D!
ReplyDeleteBefore I comment on your comment, Peter, I would like to say that I enjoyed the distinction between women and females.
Indeed, most women will try anything to nourish their relationship, specially when they are deep in love. Of course I know some women who hang on to relationships for other reasons different than love (pride, fear of loneliness, need etc). The way they deal with conflict is very interesting for they never quit just like that; before realising that a relationship is over they will try anything to make it work.
"No matter what it takes and giving no thought as to what it may cost them in the end." - so true, so true.
"On the other hand, perhaps a particular female will resort to getting in the way of a relationship as a result of having experienced a break up herself at the hands of the other woman. In her anger she then attempts to create havoc by seeking out innocent victims, as she once was, to gain some sought of primeval self-gratification." - this is an excellent assessment; Peter!! :D. You may very well be right...I never thought about it that way...*nodding*. I must take note of this...
"If none of the above, perhaps they’re just plain bad and blame their behaviour on their parents who also had loose morals." - LOL LOL this one is Universal, isn't it? Anything bad happening people blame their parents. Of course this is a poor excuse, and represents some sort of unaccountability for one's actions *nodding*. I would say that most of home-wreckers are plain bad; and then we have the others who fall on the categories you mentioned....
"As for women ruling the world, I think it’s time for a change. Taking into account man’s long history for violence and revenge, I do believe women would do a better job of things." - you are so kind :D. But remember that women have already ruled the world before, and things were equally violent (Europe in medieval times).
Great comment: thanks for your input :D!
Cheers
Hey Z,
ReplyDeleteThanks :D.
Cheers
Hello Trinity :),
ReplyDeleteLOL LS and I are co-gladiators LOL, we debate for a living lol *nodding*.
Well, I would say that men need to control themselves. Both husband and wife need each other's prayers so that their life together can receive God's light upon them :).
"Women need love while Men need respect, are you agree with me?" - women certainly look for love above all things, I suppose. But they also need respect (what is love without respect? The same as nothing). Men certainly look for respect, primarily (specially in extremely traditional societies: they want their families to know that they are the bread providers, and that they should given and recognised authority for that). In modern societies, men still want respect (it's a genetic condition lol) but they also value love. They don't have that "bread provider" syndrome since women also work and contribute in house expenses.
This gender thing is more complex than it looks, right :)?
Oh, I will come over to your place to check it out :). Thanks *bowing*! I will enjoy it for sure :D...
Thanks for your input, Trinity; it was very much appreciated :-D.
Cheers
I think it's natural for both men and women to want to taste all the flavors in the candy shop, but it is cruel, selfish and destructive to do so.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I actually discuss this a lot. Neither of us is sure that man and woman are "meant" to be monogamous for a lifetime. But we both agree that a long-term relationship, albeit maybe difficult at times, has many rewards. And fidelity and loyalty create stability instead of torn and broken hearts...and dysfunction.
It's fine to fantasize, and even share fantasies, among mates. But I think that people who initiate affairs, male or female, are usually just trying to boost their deflated self-esteem.
Yikes, I hope I never have to eat my words! :)
PS - I love what livingsword said:
ReplyDelete"True strength means you will do the right thing despite suffering, or a difficult challenge, it is easy to take the other lesser path in the shadows…anybody can do that!"
I totally agree.
Max, thanks for the fascinating post and lively discussion! It's a smorgasboard, uh, er, candy shop of opinions!
Hi Peter;
ReplyDeleteSomething you wrote in your excellent comment on the article grabbed my attention…
You said…. “As for women ruling the world, I think it’s time for a change. Taking into account man’s long history for violence and revenge, I do believe women would do a better job of things.”
I hear where you are coming from…Personally I think the problem is us humans running the show here….not just men and/or women…and I think both genders have just as many flaws (although not always the same ones). Things would work better if more of the world established the equality of the genders as far as their humanity…I would rather take people one at a time rather than thinking that women or men would either do a better job than the other, we are stronger when we work in a complimentary fashion…
What do you think?
Merry Christmas Trinity!
ReplyDeleteIt’s nice to see your smiling face!
Max and I may write long comments but a fair amount of them is us requoting the other for context….
I agree 100% with your statement “Women need love while Men need respect”!
We must have both received this information form the same Source!!!!
That is the best approach for a marriage relationship!
Hi Max;
ReplyDeleteI’m responding to your comment to Trinity….LOL
You said:
"Women need love while Men need respect, are you agree with me?" - women certainly look for love above all things, I suppose. But they also need respect (what is love without respect? The same as nothing). Men certainly look for respect, primarily (specially in extremely traditional societies: they want their families to know that they are the bread providers, and that they should given and recognised authority for that). In modern societies, men still want respect (it's a genetic condition lol) but they also value love. They don't have that "bread provider" syndrome since women also work and contribute in house expenses.
This gender thing is more complex than it looks, right :)?
I respond:
Max you are correct that love and respect are important to both genders but the way it is received, transmitted, and communicated is different. A man receives love thru respect…it may be said that women receive respect thru love…Obviously there is an intertwining here but I think you may get what I mean….also we should take into account culture, and personality…but over all I believe this stands well….
When women say they want security men hear “make money so we have financial security” whereas the woman is looking for relational security thru love, emotion.
The man says I want respect (we could get into sex here but that would send us in another direction since it seems to have a lot of velocity here in the Max zone LOL), and the woman tries to show her respect thru love, whereas it is shown to a man by doing things (some words of course also) such as…sex…there is a tension between sex and respect for the man and love and sex for the woman….
Please note I am speaking about relationships here more than courting, they can be different….
This is the short response….LOL
Hi Lynda!
ReplyDeleteMy current wife and I talk about this a fair bit also….
My first marriage was when I was not a follower of Jesus, we had a “party lifestyle” frequently involving other women in our sex life together….We both thought this was the way we were “meant” to be….what a disaster…what a train wreck….(short version)
The “rewards” of as you so wonderfully said “fidelity and loyalty create stability instead of torn and broken hearts...and dysfunction.” Are so very true and often have to be lived to be believed or understood, they are hard for those not involved to understand….
Needless to say my second marriage is not at all like my first, and neither are my wives…or me for that matter….thank God….
Another thing I learned was fantasies can be just as dangerous and destructive as actually living them out…they are seeds, and when you plant those kinds of seeds what grows can be ugly…
What do you think?
Hi Lynda;
ReplyDeleteOhhhhh if I had just read ahead I would have seen you mentioning me….that’s funny….LOL
To give away an article title I’m using I a couple of weeks “Life is an Opportunity” to do the right thing….of course one of the challenges in our societies is the conflict over what is actually right!
Hello Lynda,
ReplyDeleteI know where you're coming from; but I agree with you when you say that it is cruel, selfish and destructive.
How interesting: so, both of you think, at times, that the search for several partners is inherent to men and women; is that it? Personally, I don't agree; although I am aware of the fact that society taught men that they should have as many wives as they could.
"But we both agree that a long-term relationship, albeit maybe difficult at times, has many rewards." - right on :D
"And fidelity and loyalty create stability instead of torn and broken hearts...and dysfunction." - I am a true defender of loyalty and fidelity above all things.
"It's fine to fantasize, and even share fantasies, among mates. But I think that people who initiate affairs, male or female, are usually just trying to boost their deflated self-esteem." - there is nothing wrong with fantasies. Yes, usually low self-esteem is the root for many sexual misconducts.
"Yikes, I hope I never have to eat my words! :) " - LOL LOL this was a good one.
Thanks for your input, Lynda: I loved it :D!
Cheers
Lynda,
ReplyDeleteLivingsword is a wise man: he knows what he's talking about :).
You are welcome; and I am glad that you like it :D!
LOL Candy shop, indeed :).
Thanks!
Yes, Max, he appears to be wiser than many!!!
ReplyDeleteHappy holidays!
xxx
Well Max, he and I both feel that it's natural to find the grass greener elsewhere, or to just want excitement or to be appreciated by someone new. And we agree that the basic urges may not be as selective as we would like them to be. And that it's natural to FEEL attracted.
ReplyDeleteBut we both feel strongely that to act out on these urges and attractions is just plain wrong! Just because many species switch partners and freely do it in the brush, doesn't make it right. We have intelligence and common sense and intuition and faith, to elevate us above the brush, lol...
And we have love...
ReplyDeleteI forgot to mention the most important one!
hi livingsword,
ReplyDeletesorry to hear about the train wreck. my parents had a train wreck, and i know it wasn't pretty for them or for us (3 sisters).
my feeling is that i learned from their experience, that i wanted to have willing and total commitment.
as has been pointed out, love is a DECISION. no one promises that it will be easy. there will always be issues to work out, but that is good. that means you're not stagnant, that the relationship is growing in mutual understanding, when you work through those issues.
i don't feel threatened by occasional casual fantasies. if i feel one of them getting to be too much, i get an ugly feeling that tells me to put it away (call it intuition). and i do! i just put it away, even if i don't "want" to. i've never had any grow so big that i couldn't just bury that seedling!
thanks for the discussion!
Lynda,
ReplyDeleteThank you (although I only celebrate New Year lol)!!
Merry festivities!
Hello again, LS;
ReplyDelete"I’m responding to your comment to Trinity….LOL" - LOL oh boy....her we go...
Of course you do know that I have written, at your request, an article about this...don't you? LOL...
"Max you are correct that love and respect are important to both genders but the way it is received, transmitted, and communicated is different. A man receives love thru respect…it may be said that women receive respect thru love…" - I don't agree that women receive respect through love. Love is love, respect is respect. Women who are beaten up by their husbands/boyfriends (who usually say that they love them) are not receiving respect.
A man can be respected, but if the wife doesn't love him...he just has an official sex and domestic slave in his hands.
"Obviously there is an intertwining here but I think you may get what I mean….also we should take into account culture, and personality…but over all I believe this stands well…." - I get what you mean, but I don't agree with it entirely. Yes, culture and personality play a big role here.
"When women say they want security men hear “make money so we have financial security” whereas the woman is looking for relational security thru love, emotion." - yes, but this doesn't mean that by wanting love and emotion they are receiving respect from their bread-provider men. And of course they hear "make money...." it is in their genes that they must be the providers (therefore the conflict nowadays: cause in many families women are the ones playing that role).
"The man says I want respect (we could get into sex here but that would send us in another direction since it seems to have a lot of velocity here in the Max zone LOL), and the woman tries to show her respect thru love, whereas it is shown to a man by doing things (some words of course also) such as…sex…there is a tension between sex and respect for the man and love and sex for the woman…." - LOL let's stick to the "I want respect" lol. Oh, is that right? Do you really believe in this theory of yours, LS? Do you live your life by this?
"Please note I am speaking about relationships here more than courting, they can be different…." - yes, I know :).
"This is the short response….LOL " - very enlightening short response...thanks :)
LS;
ReplyDeleteFantasies per se aren't harmful. For example, if one has fantasies with its wife...is that harmful? No.
So the danger lies in the object of those fantasies, and if only one can't control its impulses (and that's when seeds grow to be ugly).
Lynda,
ReplyDeleteI respect that :).
"And we agree that the basic urges may not be as selective as we would like them to be. And that it's natural to FEEL attracted." - I understand that you and your husband have an agreement (that is quite honest, if you ask me). Sometimes, couples have their own codes; and I accept that.
However what is wrong with re-designing ways to ensure the couple keeps feeling attracted by each other? Why look outside what you have at home? Maybe it is my young-in-love-mind talking here; but I don't see myself agreeing with my husband that we should feel attracted by other people.
"But we both feel strongely that to act out on these urges and attractions is just plain wrong!" - ah, so you agree that it is natural to feel attracted and be appreciated by others but you don't actually act upon it? Interesting...
"Just because many species switch partners and freely do it in the brush, doesn't make it right. We have intelligence and common sense and intuition and faith, to elevate us above the brush, lol..." - lol lol it is not that I wish to impose my personal beliefs here but I am glad that you are intelligent, have faith, intuition and common sense enough to stay tall :).
This exchange of ideas is great! Thanks Lynda :D
LOL of course you have love, Lynda! I even think that that is why you don't really take the plunge :D!
ReplyDeleteCheers
Max, I think when a couple has been together for 33 years, as we have, it's part of the growing to discuss all sorts of issues. And the ability to discuss honestly and without reactiveness or defensiveness grows also.
ReplyDeleteI think that even if attraction between spouses is still strong, attractions will come and go. To me, this is the nature of things. But impulse behaviors of ANY kind seem to bear only rotten fruit, pardon the analogy. I would never give up the history and connection I feel with my husband for a superficial attraction.
Thanks for the great discussion, Max. I enjoyed it!
Hi! Livingsword and Max. In reply to Livingsword's question: What do you think?
ReplyDeleteTaking into account the last 120 years of world conflict and the never ending banter between male leaders that are involved in these, one can start to lose hope in their leadership skills and wonder if they really want peace at all.
When it comes down to it, I’m disillusioned with how the male leaders, during these conflicts, have gone about things.
Yes, we must fight for what is right but it appears to me that men are all to ready to fire the first shot when peace is the far better option.
I then look to others that I think will do a better job. Perhaps I’m too naïve but I think that women with their mothering ways would treat this world far better.
Regards
Peter
This was just wonderful reading. I just can't agree more with your thoughts....very well written & Here's Wishing you a Merry Christmas & a Wonderful New Year. May the New Year bring lots of joy, happiness & prosperity in your life & your loved ones.
ReplyDeleteHi Max,
ReplyDeleteI just passed to wish you a great Christmas. I didn't read your post but, as soon as the season passes (and I get more free time) I'll read it because I'm intrigued about the title...
So, as we say "Um feliz Natal!"
Hello Lynda,
ReplyDelete"I think when a couple has been together for 33 years, as we have, it's part of the growing to discuss all sorts of issues." - 33 years? That is wonderful: congratulations :D!!! You are right, when a couples is together for that long they have no issues in discussing all sorts of subjects :).
"And the ability to discuss honestly and without reactiveness or defensiveness grows also." - I hear you :).
"But impulse behaviors of ANY kind seem to bear only rotten fruit, pardon the analogy." - lol lol you are pardoned; but I must say that I loved the analogy lol :). It goes without saying that I agree...
"I would never give up the history and connection I feel with my husband for a superficial attraction." - this is so beautiful, Lynda! By the way, did you know that your name means "beautiful" in Portuguese? Of course we write "Linda" :D.
There are things between two people that cannot be deleted: history, codes, feelings...the connection (as you so well pointed). I can see that in my parents who have been together for 32 years, they have their ups and downs but they still love each other...it is beautiful :D!
It's my pleasure; I also enjoyed this discussion :D!
Cheers
Hello, Peter :D!
ReplyDeleteI thank you for the vote of confidence in women, Peter; it is quite positive of you *bowing*. No, you are not being naïve, you are just looking for alternatives; I get that...
We will have a chance to see how women behave when they are in power with Argentina's female President - who alread wants to start a quarrel with England over the Falklands/Malvinas...
I would like to say one last thing: not all women have the motherly instinct (unfortunately), so how would we ensure that the woman to be elected to power would have it?
Great reply, Peter: thanks :)!
Cheers
Kalyan,
ReplyDeleteThank you, I am glad you liked it *bowing*!
Ooh, what lovely wishes :)...I wish you a Merry Christmas and an extremely Happy New Year! May 2008 bring you, and your loved ones, lots of love, inner-peace and prosperity :D!
Cheers
Hello Arms,
ReplyDeleteLOL LOL the title is appealling, ey? Feel free to read it whenever you wish :)...
Obrigada; e Feliz Natal para ti também, lindo :D!!!
Um abraço
I enjoyed it too, Max! I'll come hang out on your page anytime! I love a good discussion when it's done with friendship and respect.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful week. I'll be away at my sister's house, but I'll see you again soon!
xxx -Lynda
Max girl, I know that it will be hard to blog during Xmas, as all my energy will be focused on my family and friends. So as I am going through a list of all blogger friends, finally I have reached you. Well, I really don't remember how it all started, its like what was first - chicken or egg, lol, meaning who found who. However on the end it does not matter, because I got to know someone who has lot to offer from the soul and does it very well, and I am aways honoured to read your inspirational writing and ideas. What nice about is that we all have our own opinions to start, but tend to converge into wonderful discussion that leads to great resolutions for better world. In addition I am going to thank you so much for all your kind comments, and keep coming back to every of my posts (that's dedication), and comments back and visitations, you name it - thank you. Lastly, knowing your status, lol, I still am going to wish you a very Merry Christmas and best wishes for Happy New Year 2008. Anna :)
ReplyDeleteWell it's not just women who are manipulative, but I suppose I can see where they get this reputation from. As for what it means to be human, I think that humanity can be described by a spectrum that has primitive, animalistic behavior on one extreme and civilized, decent behavior on another. I think the more we stay on the latter extreme, the more human we are, even though we are often compelled to move towards the former, such as when we have sex (which is necessary of course). Regardless, being civilized and resisting the urge to be primitive is what sets us apart from other species, so we ought to try to stay in the latter extreme or we lose out on what it means to be human. Yes, we can be classified as animals per se, but we're more than that. To be opportunistic cheaters like the vamps in these examples is to debase humanity.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, merry Christmas and happy new year Max! :D
Lynda,
ReplyDeletePlease do! It will be our pleasure to have good discussions with you :). Absolutely, I find it awful when people debate with contempt and disrespect *nodding*.
But here at the Maxzone we tend to respect and appreciate everyone’s opinion :).
Thank you! You too have a wonderful week. Have fun at your sister’s.
See you soon :).
Anna, my dear;
ReplyDeleteI understand that it will be a bit difficult to blog during these days: family and friends are very important and every chance one gets to be united to them should be grabbed with both hands :). It is a blessing :)!
LOL indeed, I don't remember either who found whom: all I know is that I am glad we found each other :). I love reading your posts (Story blob) and seeing your photos (my only photo): they are great blogs :D!
You are most welcome, dear *bowing*!
I thank you for all your kind words, and for your wishes :)! May 2008 be an even greater year than 2007 :D!
Cheers
Manimala,
ReplyDeleteOh my sweet Lord; what an amazing comment!! Thank you so much, Manimala *bowing*!
"Well it's not just women who are manipulative, but I suppose I can see where they get this reputation from." - lol true, true...
"I think the more we stay on the latter extreme, the more human we are, even though we are often compelled to move towards the former, such as when we have sex (which is necessary of course)." - I agree with you sex is extremely necessary. Yes, I also think that when we control our impulses we are more human (differing more from animals, which have sex whenever they feel like...).
"Regardless, being civilized and resisting the urge to be primitive is what sets us apart from other species, so we ought to try to stay in the latter extreme or we lose out on what it means to be human." - this is beautifully put.
"Yes, we can be classified as animals per se, but we're more than that." - we are so much more than that indeed :D. This is a chant to humans, I like it :).
"To be opportunistic cheaters like the vamps in these examples is to debase humanity." - I hear you.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too :D!