Sex, anti-spiritual?

While in my room, floating on the ocean of my thoughts, I was struck by the following question: why do certain religious groups fight against sexual fantasies?

There seems to be the wrong idea that sex is anti-spiritual; that in order to be in perfect communion with God, or the Divine, one needs to either view sex as a mere reproductive act or become asexual. I utterly disagree!

Sex is one of the greatest gifts that the Lord has bestowed upon us; and when it is done with deep love we can actually hear the Angels choirs sing!
Making love to a person is like carving marble: your hands are your tools; your lover’s body is the finest limestone ready to be sculpted by your love. At a certain point the sculptor and sculpture melt together, making it impossible for the Divine creatures to tell them apart. This is sacred!

Freud said, “Everything (good and bad) seems to stem from the expression or repression of the sex drive”.
If we allow ourselves, for a second, to concord with the above statement, we must conclude that certain religious groups are being managed by people who project their unaccepted desires on the followers, and then try to control them (as well as their own thoughts) by encouraging them to practice Asceticism (renunciation of needs, due to feeling threatened by one’s emerging sexual desires, or all desires). At this stage we often hear the group members naming sex as: filth, dirt and depravity. Besides being selfish, this attitude towards sex is wrong.
My empirical experience taught me that those who are sexually satisfied, with no taboos about it, are much happier than the repressed ones. The latter tend to be depressed, depressing and depressive…

If certain religious groups fear “perversion”, and wish to fight it, there’s news for them: Freudians say (and I tend to agree with them) that “perversion” is present in everybody. It is innate, and it begins in childhood, since children demonstrate early signs of sexual activity (N.B: sexuality doesn’t constitute sexual intercourse and orgasm only, but also all pleasurable skin sensations) – thumb sucking.
Religious people should help others acknowledging and understanding their sexuality, and encourage them to talk about it freely, for free dialogue is the only way to avoid sexual deviation – which is what we should be concerned about, not sex per se.

A healthy and fulfilled sex life is an asset to Humankind: the heart of aggression and hostility is built-up, and unreleased, sexual tension.


  1. Hi Max,

    I'm trully convinced that "love not war" should help many people to release their tension. (and it would be a lot cheaper...)

    Making physical love: love construction base in self and third party body knowledge.

    Making spiritual love: much beyhounh flesh mutual mental share;
    Share of really your are to your partner, where people expose to eachother without any complex to show themselves as they are. (one heart one soul)

    Sex as pleasure, well, one can get addicted to it since there is some chemistry ocurring during that passionate moments. (yep...its all in our head and mind)

    Sex as sex........ like one known brand "just do it".

    Anyway, in my opinion what really matters, is what it does represent to the involved persons; Moment of freedom or repression.

    Physic laws are much simple :
    If some body is pushed away there will be an opposite force.(depending where the body is)
    Human bodys dont work necessarily like that....

  2. Well, I think in the Asian world, it's not the religious groups who condemn sex as something dirty, but it's the culture itself that considered sex as a taboo thing.

    I have a friend who was brought up that way: thinking that sex was taboo. No matter how hard we've tried to convince her that sex is a gift from God (which our different churches believe as long as it's done with a husband and a wife), she still can't enjoy sex.

    Another friend also had the same problem, but then she met the man who helped her think and believe that sex was good. So now she can enjoy sex.

    So I believe it's more about upbringing, how you're taught by those closest to you.

  3. You sure have a way with words "Making love to a person is like carving marble: your hands are your tools; your lover’s body is the finest limestone ready to be sculpted by your love." I'm getting aroused just reading this. Thank god for fantasies!!

  4. I don't know what's in the water Max but sex and love seems to be on everyone's mind at the moment! :)

  5. Hi Max,

    I think sex without love is like a barren desert, there's nothing there. When you add love to the equation, the desert becomes a magnificent landscape. It's like a beautiful symphony with surround sound. You feel the bass of the heartbeat, the high and lows of sound, the various movements, the crashing symbols and the crescendo.

    Think of the kama sutra, one of the most ancient treatise on love. Kama is the god of love in Hindu mythology. I think the beauty of it gets lost in translation. It's unfortunate that many religions try to censor what is a natural part of life and love.

    I thoroughly enjoyed the marble analogy. It was rock solid. (get it?)

  6. Well stated, and beautifully written. The baby is mine, and he was made from a phenomenal sexual experience. Granted, that was 4 and a half years ago, but it was still phenomenal. And I got a beautiful baby boy out of it. :)

  7. Very nice post, Max!

    Btw, there's an award waiting for you on my blog! Congrats!! I hope all is well with you.

  8. Max, this is an awesome post. I grew up Catholic and even as an innocent child, I wondered if priests ever missed being married or in a relationship. As I got older (and more worldly?) of course I questioned how very human creatures could deny their sexuality.

    I hope this post gets plenty of comments. I'd love to read others POVs.

  9. HI Max,

    I've often thought about this issue. I am raising girls and I want them to have a healthy perspective about sex and thier bodies. I want them to have, respect and caution as well. I grew up in a home where it wasn't talked about and I learned about it from Cosmo! I try to talk about bodies and sex with them as an everyday thing. It's hard to bring it up though. The 6 year old is much more willing than the 10 year old to talk about it.

    It seems that in this fallen world, Man is capable of twisting and perverting anything. We see extremes on both ends to do with sexuality. God created us in his image. He created sex. The Song of Soloman beautifully illustrates God's intention of intimacy between a man and women. We need to have a healthy respect for sex and our bodies. That is something that is very hard to do in this world today.

  10. Freud is horribly off the mark in many levels of psychoanalysis, but you've got a nice analysis nonetheless. Sex definitely has an important role in all of our lives.

  11. Hi Max!
    The churches should focus more on unhealthy sex (molestation etc.) than to worry about two consenting adults. And as far as the children and their sexual impulses we start early trying to squash it out of them don't we? (Get your hand away from there ,stop doing that!, no wonder so many adult are confused! And then of course I think us girls get the worst reprimanding (be a good girl, wait until marriage etc)
    There is a fine line between teaching your daughter's to be comfortable with their sexuality and having a pregnant teenager in your home! At least I have 8-10 years before I should have to start freaking out about this eeek! “see” you soon!

  12. congratulations on this newly found spirituality, mazx

  13. Max, I love this blog! You are so right on. I used to worry and fret about sex all the time and all of my worries stemmed from religious upbringing. It wasn't until I got older and started exploring other religious paths that I found I didn't have be feel guilty for enjoying sex and I've been SO much happier since!!

  14. Hi Max;

    You have written a very intriguing article with a fascinating perspective, your words are indelibly carved into the imagination…

    You are correct in that God is the creator and designer of sex. The Scriptures are replete with the topic of sex; it is a gift from God. Therefore if it is a gift from God to us then how should we regard it; how do we “use” the gift in light of the Giver?

    I have never in my life at Church heard a preacher say that sex is “a mere reproductive act”. As a matter of fact many polls over the past ten years in Canada and the United States tell a common story of followers of Jesus having sex more often and more passionately then those who are not followers of Jesus. Often the view of repressed sex hating followers of Jesus is a false media representation, at least here in North America; I can tell you I personal know no genuine follower of Jesus like that.

    As you know before I became a follower of Jesus I had very many female sexual partners often at the same time (I should hasten to mention that you know this simply from reading my blog not from first hand knowledge). Yet now being a follower of Jesus in a marriage relationship with a woman who is also a follower of Jesus the “sex” (it seems such a limiting word to describe it) is leagues beyond what I previously experienced, life is simply very different when God is in the picture, people discount the spiritual relationship with God as far as the intimacy of sex at their own loss and poverty.

    Now we come to the key to the topic, God created us for relationships that are to reflect our relationship with God, the optimal situation for sex and relationship is in perfect relationship with God.

    Since God wants the best for us, our optimal potential, God offers us this perfect sex within the most favorable preserve of sex within marriage to one other person of the opposite gender. The intimacy of that relationship is to be as of “one flesh”, this is a phrase often used but not really thought thru, it is extraordinarily personal, and intimate, almost “locked” together!

    When we break relationship with God and engage in sexual activity outside of marriage to our one partner of the opposite gender we have militated against God, the Creator and Designer, when you operate something outside of the Designer’s threshold it is destined for problems, just as your car will not operate properly with fuel it was not designed for.

    God loves us so God warns us that when we “operate” with sex outside of how it was designed by God we are in danger and will not get the greatest potential from it, because we are militating against a relationship with God.

    If you want the best sex you “operate” it within the Designers specifications, in designated relationship, respect, love and harmony.

  15. I totally agree with you on this one !

    I quite never understood why so many religion stigmatize sex as a bad thing... while encouraging women to have large families ! I mean, how are you supposed to do ??? :D

    Sex is a part of life, it's beautiful actually. Yet, we're living with this guilt about it... I feel very peace & love tonight ! :D

  16. If your theory is correct, then it follows that President Bush hasn't had sex in a long time.


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  18. "Making love to a person is like carving marble: your hands are your tools; your lover’s body is the finest limestone ready to be sculpted by your love. At a certain point the sculptor and sculpture melt together, making it impossible for the Divine creatures to tell them apart."

    Meaning confusion of identity. In other words, sex produces retardation. That sounds about right, considering that we know that when men are faced with sexy women, their intelligence is measurably impaired. When sexy time comes, brains go out the window. But of course, it's likely you're operating on a different definition of "spiritual" than I am. From the New Age I have heard it suggested that animals may be spiritually superior to humans, so by that idea I agree with the main point of your post.

    Regarding aggression, it may be of interest to note that the great saints of the Roman Catholic Church have condemned anger as destructive to the spiritual life. Nonetheless, a lot easier to resist punching someone in the face than to resist bedding a prostitute. Aggression just doesn't produce as much retardation as sexy times.


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