Love Kleptomania


It is often said that if women ruled the world there wouldn’t be any wars. I totally disagree with this theory, for women make some sort of war everyday of their lives (most just haven’t had the chance to transport it into a bigger scenario yet).
Let’s take a glance at a particular type of female that has been declaring war against steady relationships for ages.

A steady boyfriend: a couple is dating for two years and a half. Their relationship is beautiful and dreamy! However, the two lovebirds are being lurked by a predator…
A tall, slim, blonde vamp studies the sweet boyfriend, and decides that in order to play with him she has to make friends with his girlfriend. What a better way to do so than to meet her in her daily jogging sessions and engage in a friendly conversation…two months later they become the best of mates. For the sake of a healthy sexual life the vamp convinces her mate to bring along her boyfriend; who accepts just to indulge his girlfriend…
In a blink of an eye the vamp gets him in her entangled web and the former sweet boyfriend gradually becomes cold, distant, nightmarish towards his girl…

A betrothed man: an engagement party is taking place in a family home. The couple is as happy as they could be! The bride-to-be is proudly showing-off her engagement ring to every woman in the party, except to one: her cousin (who has her eyes set on the groom-to-be).
The dearest cousin approaches the betrothed man and sprays her charms all over him…she giggles at everything he says; she takes the crams of hors-d’oeuvres from the corners of his mouth; she fetches drinks for him (yes, when chasing their prey women tend to reveal themselves as the most efficient of servants…even the most feminist ones) and continuously touches his arm when talking…however he keeps looking at his fiancée: his eyes follow every move she makes; his ears probe every laughter she fills the air with; his mouth can still taste their last kiss; his nose captures her scent only; and his hands crave for her skin…he leaves the shameless cousin talking by herself and walks towards his future wife.

A married man: he’s happily married to his wife for 10 years now. They have 2 lovely kids. One day coming out of the office his friends invite him for drinks; he accepts the invitation since his wife is having her friends over for dinner.
At the bar, he’s having a good time, when he notices a hot red haired woman looking at him. At first he ignores her, but then he begins to feel intrigued by this mysterious red head. He sends signs and she approaches him; they start talking. She lures him into her field of lust and keeps him there until she’s had enough of him. But before letting him go, she’ll make sure that she has ruined another family-home, for after all she suffers from MWD (Marriage-Wreck Disorder) – her hobby is to select married men, use them, ruin their lives and then dump them as if they were recyclable waste.

It is common knowledge that we differ from animals due to our comprehension of feelings (like love and passion) and values (such as friendship, respect and loyalty). This being said, it can be defended that betrayal is inherent to humans. Others can argue that insinuation, provocation and availability are the factors that contribute to emotional disruptions; or that the primordial instinct tells a male not to turn his back to the game, otherwise his manhood can be on the verge of being threatened.

What is your opinion?

Comments

  1. My opinion? I think that men have their own free agency to choose. They make the decision whether or not to pursue the woman. I go to a buffet that has hundreds of choices, but I don't eat them all, I choose the ones I want. The woman may tempt the man, but he still has the choice whether or not he will oblige. He is not a helpless victim. :P

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  2. Dear Max you have served up a smorgasbord…..I’ll just line up here at the start and make my way through…trying to not be a glutton…willing to share with others….

    Your supposition about women having the same proclivities towards war is interesting…of course war can be seen in more than one way…is it war to defend yourself when invaded or imminently threatened? Obviously wars would happen if there was not even a single man on the planet, no matter how hard society attempts to feminize men they will not in the end be able to “break” them, just as it is not possible to do this with women from the opposite trajectory…

    Now to “A steady boyfriend:
    I am wondering if the girlfriend is a petite brunett….

    I doubt that the underlying reason for the “tall, slim, blonde vamp” to strategize and manipulate to such a degree has much to with sex, it has more to do with her own insecurities and weaknesses….

    Which of course means her “healthy sexual life” is non-existent, the only “healthy sexual life” is found within the treasure of a monogamous unbreakable marriage between one man and one woman…. What a sad existence….

    As far as the decimation of the relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend, if he is not interested or loyal enough to stay with his girlfriend then she is better off without him….

    Now for the “betrothed man”:
    Where to start with this one!! LOL

    No seduction, arm touching, “accidental” breast touching him, hair touching face, wickedness in the eyes, has any effect….this tells us that he is at least in the throws of romantic love which is a powerful champion but not the most powerful…

    Once again this shows her sad weaknesses, insecurities and inability to commit as she wants what is taken…she is so pathetic that she is attacking a family member…I am sad for her….

    Now to the “married man”:

    When the romantic love wears off, and it always wears off, there are different relationships left….

    A healthy marriage does not depend upon romantic love…it may captivate for a short time but does not have lasting power…it is not humanly sustainable…

    I choose to love…even when I am not happy I choose to love. My love is not dependant upon romance, or feelings, certainly they are there but they are not as essential as choosing to love no matter what. Love is a verb, love is a choice…You put your love into action by choice…this love is not dependant upon fleeting lust, or fading beauty, it can love within lack of sex or sensuality, it can love when only ugliness remains, physical or other….when there is nothing lovable about the loved…you can still choose to put in action love….this love does not stray…

    This kind of love comes from God….

    This man is a wimp, a loser; he is less than a man. Getting sex or the attention of a woman is easy! Standing behind a commitment to love that is strength….that is a real man! Being able to harness and steer desire in an appropriate manner that takes skill and strength anybody can give in to temptation…what strength or skill does it take to lose?

    As per the woman in this scenario (very clever with the WMD **applause**)…She is very sad and pathetic, so weak and boring, anybody can do this, men are easy...very easy…this does not take a strong, sensual, or good looking woman…she will find this hollow, empty and unsatisfying in the long run….like a weeping scab…

    Now as per your final paragraph….

    Humans have the ability to understand the differences between right and wrong, we may cover this over with a blister of continuing abuse but it is still there underneath…a sore spot…of sin…how we do like to run and hide from the light….trying to play in the dark of me...me…pride…

    Since we play in the dark our views are twisted, many think you are strong when you are weak. Like getting sex proves you are a desirable man or woman…LOL...it proves nothing of the kind!!!!

    True strength means you will do the right thing despite suffering, or a difficult challenge, it is easy to take the other lesser path in the shadows…anybody can do that!

    In our fallen state we have a propensity towards evil, but because we have some of God’s characteristics stamped upon our souls we have a noble part to us that we can aspire towards…With His help this is possible…genuine life can be experienced as it is designed to be…

    Well there you go Max, I left lots for others at the buffet….it was very interesting and delightfully laid out…this reminds me of some of your topics when we first met!

    Very yummy, well done Supremo Maximus Chef

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  3. How humorous!!!!!

    When I posted there was no other comment to be seen!

    I wrote my comment without having Delirious comment visible to me until after posting but we both refer to a buffet!!!!!!

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  4. Hello D,

    " They make the decision whether or not to pursue the woman. I go to a buffet that has hundreds of choices, but I don't eat them all, I choose the ones I want." - LOL LOL marvellous comparison, I loved it *clap clap* lol...
    I agree with you; I think that men should be mentally strong enough to resist to temptation. Of course, not all of them eat everything that comes to their plate (Thank God); but the majority is very notorious when it comes to sexual temptation *nodding*...

    "The woman may tempt the man, but he still has the choice whether or not he will oblige. He is not a helpless victim. :P" - lovely!!! I agree :D.

    Thank you so much for your comment, Delirious; it was a true pleasure reading it :D!

    Cheers

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  5. LS!!!

    I am even surprised that you came over this soon...good thing I have prepared some tea for us lol... biscuits lol? :).

    "you have served up a smorgasbord…..I’ll just line up here at the start and make my way through…trying to not be a glutton…willing to share with others…." - what is a smorgasbord? LOL LOL you a glutton? Nooo...

    "Your supposition about women having the same proclivities towards war is interesting…of course war can be seen in more than one way…is it war to defend yourself when invaded or imminently threatened?" - I think that war is made whenever you have to fight. If you have to fight to defend yourself, it is still war; but a necessary one. But it's true, LS; women are as prone to war as men; our minds are not that different, only our bodies are...

    "Obviously wars would happen if there was not even a single man on the planet, no matter how hard society attempts to feminize men they will not in the end be able to “break” them, just as it is not possible to do this with women from the opposite trajectory…" - Heavens no! I want men to remain malish, as they all should be. We leave the femininisation to women (and God knows some of them need to be feminine LOL)! From a man I just expect respect, that's all. War is here to stay, it's a human condition....

    "I am wondering if the girlfriend is a petite brunett…." - LOL nooo, that petite is the one showing off the engagement ring :).

    "I doubt that the underlying reason for the “tall, slim, blonde vamp” to strategize and manipulate to such a degree has much to with sex, it has more to do with her own insecurities and weaknesses…." - I see...tell me more, tell me more LS...:)

    "Which of course means her “healthy sexual life” is non-existent, the only “healthy sexual life” is found within the treasure of a monogamous unbreakable marriage between one man and one woman…. What a sad existence…." - LOL I knew it! I never bet, but this time I told someone "LS is going to say that a healthy sexual life exists only within marriage" ....gotta go collect my dough LOL LOL :).
    You do know that "Healthy sexual life" is between the steady (not so steady) couple, don't you? Which apparently was not existant as you so well noted :).

    "As far as the decimation of the relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend, if he is not interested or loyal enough to stay with his girlfriend then she is better off without him…." - absolutely!!! *spit*....I have a problem with unfaithful and disloyal men...

    "No seduction, arm touching, “accidental” breast touching him, hair touching face, wickedness in the eyes, has any effect….this tells us that he is at least in the throws of romantic love which is a powerful champion but not the most powerful…" - no, it means that he is in deeply love with his fiancée. Of course romantic love is there; but that alone would not be sufficient. Romantic love plus real love plus deep respect and sense of loyalty is the perfect formula to any successful couple. The betrothed man is admirable and a true gentleman...

    "Once again this shows her sad weaknesses, insecurities and inability to commit as she wants what is taken…she is so pathetic that she is attacking a family member…I am sad for her…." - it is sad indeed, LS. I almost feel sorry for this kind of women...almost. I think that this type of women must check themselves; the road they are taking is shameful; and it doesn't bring any benefits to the pro-femina cause *nodding*.

    "When the romantic love wears off, and it always wears off, there are different relationships left…." - does it really wear off? Or do people stop being creative within their marriages?

    "A healthy marriage does not depend upon romantic love…it may captivate for a short time but does not have lasting power…it is not humanly sustainable…" - no, but it depends on love, itself. We must love our spouses (and this sentiment has an extremely broad meaning) :)!

    "I choose to love…even when I am not happy I choose to love. My love is not dependant upon romance, or feelings, certainly they are there but they are not as essential as choosing to love no matter what." - this is beautiful, LS :)! I absolutely agree with you :D! Love is the most gorgeous feeling on earth. Until I actually loved I never thought it could be so good.

    "Love is a verb, love is a choice…You put your love into action by choice…this love is not dependant upon fleeting lust, or fading beauty, it can love within lack of sex or sensuality, it can love when only ugliness remains, physical or other….when there is nothing lovable about the loved…you can still choose to put in action love….this love does not stray…" - yes, yes...that's exactly what I tell people :). When one loves somebody one must be that person's harbour; the object of one's love must be absolutely sure that nothing bad will happen when beside his/her love. And if something bad occurs; they know that together they can face and endure anything :).

    "This kind of love comes from God…." - I don't know about that; but I know that God plans things correctly :).

    "This man is a wimp, a loser; he is less than a man. Getting sex or the attention of a woman is easy! Standing behind a commitment to love that is strength….that is a real man!" - He is an absolute dog (and no, this is not an absolute truth lol)! I wouldn't say that it is easy to get sex or attention of a woman (because there are some women who are extremely difficult); but I'd say that it is simpler to prey for sex than to commit in a real relationship.

    "Being able to harness and steer desire in an appropriate manner that takes skill and strength anybody can give in to temptation…what strength or skill does it take to lose?" - no skill whatsoever. I admire those men who can resist to temptations. I am sure you know men's fame regarding sex, right?

    "As per the woman in this scenario (very clever with the WMD **applause**)…" - thank you *bowing*!

    "She is very sad and pathetic, so weak and boring, anybody can do this, men are easy...very easy…this does not take a strong, sensual, or good looking woman…she will find this hollow, empty and unsatisfying in the long run….like a weeping scab…" - yes, I agree with you: she's pathetic (as all women of her kind are). About men being easy...not all of them are. But word has it that men are whores (pardon my french); which is sad really; cause they should also control themselves (this burden is only put on women). However society has agreed that to be "the man" one has to sleep with as many women as possible; and if you ask me, a man is a man when he knows how to treat a woman, how to touch and respect her (many men have had a lot of women and still have no skills at all *nodding*)...it's about quality and not quantity, fellows!

    "Humans have the ability to understand the differences between right and wrong, we may cover this over with a blister of continuing abuse but it is still there underneath…a sore spot…of sin…how we do like to run and hide from the light….trying to play in the dark of me...me…pride…" - I think most humans like to throw themselves into the sweage of moral before they can realise that it is not satisfying, and that it drains them. Being lascivious is not being avant-garde, it is being stupid (if people only knew what they do to themselves: body and soulwise).

    "Like getting sex proves you are a desirable man or woman…LOL...it proves nothing of the kind!!!!" - of course not; it only proves that you either have a vagina or a penis and that you are making use of it *nodding*. A desirable man/woman many times doesn't even have to make use of sex...their words are more of a foreplay then foreplay itself...

    "True strength means you will do the right thing despite suffering, or a difficult challenge, it is easy to take the other lesser path in the shadows…anybody can do that!" - true. However doing the right thing despite suffering is not for everybody, LS; most people prefer to take the lesser path (as you called it) *nodding*.

    "In our fallen state we have a propensity towards evil, but because we have some of God’s characteristics stamped upon our souls we have a noble part to us that we can aspire towards…With His help this is possible…genuine life can be experienced as it is designed to be…" - this may sound awkward, but...LS, I agree with you. And I am not going to add any more words so that your input won't be spoiled :).

    "Well there you go Max, I left lots for others at the buffet….it was very interesting and delightfully laid out…this reminds me of some of your topics when we first met!" - LOL yes, when we met I believe I was touching this subject indeed (more or less) :). Oh, so kind of you to not have eaten everything lol :). Thank you, my friend *bowing*!

    "Very yummy, well done Supremo Maximus Chef " - LOL I am trying to improve my cooking skills; I am glad you liked it *bowing*!

    Cheers

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  6. LS;

    LOL How humorous indeed lol...

    "I wrote my comment without having Delirious comment visible to me until after posting but we both refer to a buffet!!!!!! " - LOL yeah, I noticed it. I read her comment first; and then when I read yours I thought "oh, my...everybody is in the mood for a buffet today" LOL...

    Do you think this means that sex is related with food?

    Cheers

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  7. Hello Sandy,

    Thank you so much *bowing*!

    Cheers

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  8. Hey, Max, My Girl!!!

    It's always a PLEASURE to read your views on men versus women he he he he he he...

    Funnily enough you almost always make me speechless ha ha ha ha ha...but anyway, I LOVE this post! :-)))

    All I wanna say is that I'm gonna do whatever I can to keep my man feel satisfied and intrigued by me so that when there are other options out there, he won't even think about them for one second he he he...

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  9. Scott,

    Indeed, MWD is evil in disguise *nodding*!

    Thanks for your input :)!

    Cheers

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  10. Hey, Girl :D!!!

    lol thank you, Amelia *bowing*! And you know that it is a true pleasure to read your comments on it :D.

    "Funnily enough you almost always make me speechless ha ha ha ha ha...but anyway, I LOVE this post! :-)))" - LOL that is not an easy task :). Thank you, darling; I am glad you liked it *bow*!

    You go, girl!!! You do well keeping your man satisfied and intrigued by you; creativity must never be put aside (that's the secret to keep the fire burning...that's what I hear from the African advisors lol)!
    A friend of mine told me that if a man is satisfied at home he won't look for what he has at home outside....true/myth? I don't know, but it makes sense ;D.

    Cheers, beautiful!

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  11. Max, boy you got the imagination, and knowing the man, woman, watching all these shows, movies, I to sometimes find myself in situation what if any of the two situations happened. But then why think that way, why not think - I want live to the moment, when me and my hobby, hardly walking at the normal speed, still holding hands, kissing those wrinkled lips, smiling at the passing people, and helping each other to finish the ever long walk, lol, yes why not divert yourself into the unconditional love. I think as individuals we know that things can be deceiving around, and as a couple we should always watch out for each other, and remind ourselves that what we have can never be replaced. As women can be deceiving, man can be too, as man can be deceived, women can be too. Max, another great and creative post. Anna :)

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  12. Anna,

    LOL LOL me?! Imagination? LOL :D. Yes, I guess I can say that I am creative, why not? :).
    I know what you mean, darling: one who is living a blissful life, full of love and companionship does not wish to think what if this or that would happen...
    However, the more I look at people the more I become more puzzled: both men and women can be rather deceiving (as you said); but I tend to demand more of women since we are the guardians of the Humanity (well, we are supposed to be). Of course there will always be women/men who live to ruin other people's lives; but what I see nowadays is that this number seems to be increasing (or perhaps all hell broke loose, and they are doing things more openly...who knows?); and I find it rather shocking *nodding*. I know, I think too much; but that's what MAX is all about (to observe, analyse and comment lol)!

    Oh, that is so cute: "you and your hubby hardly walking at the normal speed, still holding hands, kissing those wrinkled lips, smiling at the passing people, and helping each other to finish the ever long walk, lol, yes why not divert yourself into the unconditional love."...what a marvellous scenario *tender face*! That is what I call love, real love...God blessed you :)!

    "and as a couple we should always watch out for each other, and remind ourselves that what we have can never be replaced." - lovely; this is just lovely :D.

    "As women can be deceiving, man can be too, as man can be deceived, women can be too." - true, true...:D.

    Thank you so much for your extremely interesting comment, Anna: I loved it (it was a pleasure reading it) *bowing*!
    May God be with you always :)!

    Cheers

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  13. Hey no problem my dear.

    BTW you said: 'However, the more I look at people the more I become more puzzled: both men and women can be rather deceiving (as you said); but I tend to demand more of women since we are the guardians of the Humanity (well, we are supposed to be). Of course there will always be women/men who live to ruin other people's lives; but what I see nowadays is that this number seems to be increasing (or perhaps all hell broke loose, and they are doing things more openly...who knows?); and I find it rather shocking *nodding*. I know, I think too much; but that's what MAX is all about (to observe, analyse and comment lol)!' - yes that is what MAX is all about and MAX is right, and I hear you girl.

    Great posts encourage great comments, and more great comments, thanks Max, Anna :)

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  14. I was about to use the "buffet" metaphor myself but it's taken! :D

    To be honest, thinking of your first sentence, I don't think women are more peaceful than men. They are just more organized in their revenge... more cold blood I guess. So they plan better and don't kill a bunch of people in between (cf. wars).

    My brain is frozen... that's my best comment!

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  15. Hey again, Gorgeous!

    When you have time later, hope you don't mind doing this meme he he...


    Interview Meme

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  16. Hello Anna,

    What a pleasant start of blogger day :)! You are the first of the day :)...

    Thank you for the support, darling *bowing*!
    LOL Did you know that sometimes I tell people that comments, sometimes, are more interesting than the articles LOL? It's because we have such interesting conversations...it is amazing :D.

    You are welcome, I am here for it :).
    Thanks for the kind words *bow*.

    Cheers

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  17. Salut Zhu!

    "was about to use the "buffet" metaphor myself but it's taken! :D " - LOL LOL LOL I know...it seems that this topic makes people think about food selection LOL *nodding*.

    We agree on that one: women aren't more peaceful than men, nope *nodding*. However that's what some groups seem to defend.
    "They are just more organized in their revenge... more cold blood I guess." - LOL women are organised, pragmatic by nature; it's true. But I don't know about being more cold blooded...Ok, some women are extremely cerebral, absolutely, and the way they act is scarry lol...but most aren't (unfortunately)...they are all emotional, and sometimes mess things up *nodding*.

    "So they plan better and don't kill a bunch of people in between (cf. wars)." - LOL well, saying that they plan better...this could lead to a huge conversation (like why do they plan better? Where do they get those planning skills from? etc) :D. About killing a bunch of people in between, I can't say that I agree, cause they would be the planners but not the fighters per se (not always things go the way they are planned)...plus, men would do anything to smear women's image (as strategists) and mess up so that citizens would say "aha, when men were in charge this and that never happened" LOL *nodding*....humans are extremely competitive...

    "My brain is frozen... that's my best comment! " - Zhu, ma cherie; it was a great comment, Thank you :D!
    I can understand that your brain is frozen though...it is cold over there *Brrrrr*....

    Cheers

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  18. Amelia,

    LOL Hello again :)...Perhaps next week, I will complete it...but first let me take a look at it :).

    Thanks for tagging me :D!

    Cheers

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  19. HI Max! I totally agree with delirious. There's no such thing as "I didn't have a choice" We always do. It's just a matter of choosing whether you want to be tempted or not.

    Off topic: I have a tag for you and it's up at moms (http://mlizcochico.blogspot.com) A Simple Life is having problems w/ my host. I hope it'll be fixed by tomorrow.

    Take care and have a nice day.

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  20. Hello Liza! :D

    I agree: humans have always a choice. They have the mental power to decide wether they want to resist or not to temptations.

    Those who don't resist must be ready to face the consequences of their own actions *nodding*.

    A tag for me? I will check it out :D. Thanks.

    Cheers

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  21. Max,
    Love the photo. I think you are very insightful. I have always believed that women start wars. Ha Ha. Think of Helen of Troy, "The face than launched a thousand ships."

    It's unfortunate that some people thrive on bringing misery to others. They derive much pleasure in destroying a relationship than cultivating one of their own, (Both require the same amount of energy.)

    I absolutely love, "Marriage-Wreck Disorder" LOL. LOL. LOL.

    It takes two to tango and one to fall.

    "It is common knowledge that we differ from animals due to our comprehension of feelings (like love and passion) and values (such as friendship, respect and loyalty)."

    Geese are very loyal to their families—they mate for life and are very protective of their partners and offspring. If a goose’s mate or chicks become sick or injured, she will often refuse to leave their side, even if winter is approaching and the other geese in her group are flying south. They experience emotions just as we do—when a goose’s mate is killed or her eggs are destroyed, she will seclude herself from other geese while she mourns. After a partner dies, some geese spend the rest of their lives as widows, refusing to mate again—geese live up to 25 years.

    I have personally witnessed two birds kissing each other passionately, stroking each others feathers and emanating the feeling of, "being in love." It is an amazing thing to watch.

    "This being said, it can be defended that betrayal is inherent to humans."

    I agree. We always think there is something better around the corner when we don't deal with any present problems in the relationship. Betrayal is always so much easier than to cope.

    "Others can argue that insinuation, provocation and availability are the factors that contribute to emotional disruptions; or that the primordial instinct tells a male not to turn his back to the game, otherwise his manhood can be on the verge of being threatened."

    I don't believe all men give in to their primordial urges to have as many partners as possible, but I do understand the role of a man in society to posture. Even if he doesn't want the other prey, he will still size them up, lick his lips and make a mental note. You know, just in case? (wink)

    Outstanding post Max. Kudos. Standing ovation. Take a bow.

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  22. Alexys,

    Thanks: it is a painting by my favourite artist - Caravaggio :)! It is called Judith beheads Holofernes.
    Thank you *bowing*! LOL me too, I always believed women start wars. The story of Helen is absolutely within context *bowing* (although there are a few versions of what really happened *nodding*...still for consistency purposes let's assume she willingfully did run away with Paris, betraying her husband and, thus, provoking a war).

    "They derive much pleasure in destroying a relationship than cultivating one of their own, (Both require the same amount of energy.)" - you are right on this one. However life destroyers know, deep down, that having a relationship demands commitment; and perhaps they are uncapable of committing to one person, or to themselves even. They are uncapable of loving themselves (cause if you don't love yourself, how can you love somebody else?). In summa, destroyers have low self-esteem.

    "I absolutely love, "Marriage-Wreck Disorder" LOL. LOL. LOL." - LOL LOL I am glad you liked it *bow*. Nowadays we have all sorts of disorders, so why not create one more LOL?

    "It takes two to tango and one to fall." - I agree entirely.

    Ooooh, geese are so cute :). However I thought that peacocks did that (I am always learning things *smile*). This was a great example, Alexys: thank you :). They are animals, and yet more loyal than most humans...how about that? I could say that we should learn from them; but loyalty is something that is born with us; it can't be taught...

    "I have personally witnessed two birds kissing each other passionately, stroking each others feathers and emanating the feeling of, "being in love." It is an amazing thing to watch." - :D But do they have the conscience of love, or is it simply their bodies telling them that they have to do that in order to mate? Perhaps we, humans, decide to perceive it as "being in love"....

    "I agree. We always think there is something better around the corner when we don't deal with any present problems in the relationship. Betrayal is always so much easier than to cope." - yes, people run away from confrontation at all levels; bluntly exposing their weaknesses...so sad *nodding*.

    "I don't believe all men give in to their primordial urges to have as many partners as possible, but I do understand the role of a man in society to posture." - thank God, not all men are dogs! But yes, society demands manly posture *nodding*. I think it is time for society to re-design its behaviourial rules...

    "Even if he doesn't want the other prey, he will still size them up, lick his lips and make a mental note. You know, just in case? (wink)" - LOL LOL true; but women also do that. In fact women are experts in sizing men, licking their own lips and making mental notes LOL LOL...

    Thank you so much, Alexys *bowing, bowing*!!!

    Great comment: thank you, dear :D!
    Cheers

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  23. Ah, Caravaggio, I have always loved that name.
    I agree that there are various versions of Helen of Troy. (Most people don't realize it, but of course you are far too intelligent not to know that. Good for you for catching it.) It depends on how far one goes back in one's research. Hollywood would have us believe that Helen fell in love with Paris and willingly went with him, but knowing the fierce history of the Greeks, it doesn't seem so clear cut. Even when the story is translated from the original language of Greek, if the translator omitted one key word, it changes the meaning entirely. (I know since you are bilingual and learning German and you may even a ployglot, that you know one word can alter a meaning. You're too clever not to know.)

    "In summa, destroyers have low self-esteem."

    No self-esteem. No sense of love. No sense of honor.

    "But do they have the conscience of love, or is it simply their bodies telling them that they have to do that in order to mate? Perhaps we, humans, decide to perceive it as "being in love"...."

    If you would have seen their faces, their tender gestures, you would only construe it as the feeling we have when we are in love. It was very real. You had to see it though to understand what I saw. It was pure beauty.

    "I think it is time for society to re-design its behaviourial rules..."

    Yes. Yes. Yes.

    "In fact women are experts in sizing men, licking their own lips and making mental notes."

    Agreed!

    Max, you are just too cool.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi! This is my take on things. I ask myself why does this type of thing happen?

    To start with, I do believe that the majority of women, taking into consideration their maternal instincts, once having taken a life time partner or lover will do almost anything to foster and nourish the relationship, even in times of continual conflict.

    Having said that, continual conflict can only last for so long. Females, as well as males, can grow tired of this and out of desperation may look to others outside of their relationship that promise to give them the attention that they so desperately seek. No matter what it takes and giving no thought as to what it may cost them in the end.

    On the other hand, perhaps a particular female will resort to getting in the way of a relationship as a result of having experienced a break up herself at the hands of the other woman. In her anger she then attempts to create havoc by seeking out innocent victims, as she once was, to gain some sought of primeval self-gratification.

    If none of the above, perhaps they’re just plain bad and blame their behaviour on their parents who also had loose morals.

    As for women ruling the world, I think it’s time for a change. Taking into account man’s long history for violence and revenge, I do believe women would do a better job of things.

    Regards
    Peter

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ahaha, so true!

    http://zexk.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hallo Max :-) It's always amazed me how you and LS can discuss in long comments LOL...

    Men needs their wives' prayers, that's what I believe. I try my best to be his best friend and give all respect he needs so he will not search in 'other places' :-) Women need love while Men need respect, are you agree with me?

    Btw, Max, I have done your tag..I answered it by a song! Hope you enjoy it.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Alexys,

    LOL yes, Caravaggio is a gorgeous name indeed :D.

    Most people are quite content with the "romantic" (cause even this may have several readings) side of Helen's story *nodding*. Yes, it just doesn't make much sense that a war would be started just because a man was abandoned...no, humans aren't like that (not even stalkers lol); that war stemmed from the fact that she was abducted from the house of her husband, and humiliated by Paris (if I were a man, this would be a valid reason to fight)...
    True, if one word is not well understood, or even cut out in translation; it changes the whole meaning of the text. That is why, when I make translations I inhale the spirit of the text at hand and then I begin to translate. I do not move forward before I fully understand the spirit of the story (this is very important, so that the meaning won't be lost).

    "No self-esteem. No sense of love. No sense of honor." - sense of honour, that's the exact term! If one doesn't have sense of honour, one has nothing...what a shame *nodding*.

    "If you would have seen their faces, their tender gestures, you would only construe it as the feeling we have when we are in love. It was very real. You had to see it though to understand what I saw. It was pure beauty." - oooh, how cute :). Then I must yield: love is everywhere :).

    LOL LOL LOL I just love us, girls lol :D.

    "Max, you are just too cool." - look who's talking :D! You are pretty cool yourself, sista :).

    Thank you for the kind words *bowing*!

    Cheers

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  28. Hello Peter :D!

    Before I comment on your comment, Peter, I would like to say that I enjoyed the distinction between women and females.

    Indeed, most women will try anything to nourish their relationship, specially when they are deep in love. Of course I know some women who hang on to relationships for other reasons different than love (pride, fear of loneliness, need etc). The way they deal with conflict is very interesting for they never quit just like that; before realising that a relationship is over they will try anything to make it work.

    "No matter what it takes and giving no thought as to what it may cost them in the end." - so true, so true.

    "On the other hand, perhaps a particular female will resort to getting in the way of a relationship as a result of having experienced a break up herself at the hands of the other woman. In her anger she then attempts to create havoc by seeking out innocent victims, as she once was, to gain some sought of primeval self-gratification." - this is an excellent assessment; Peter!! :D. You may very well be right...I never thought about it that way...*nodding*. I must take note of this...

    "If none of the above, perhaps they’re just plain bad and blame their behaviour on their parents who also had loose morals." - LOL LOL this one is Universal, isn't it? Anything bad happening people blame their parents. Of course this is a poor excuse, and represents some sort of unaccountability for one's actions *nodding*. I would say that most of home-wreckers are plain bad; and then we have the others who fall on the categories you mentioned....

    "As for women ruling the world, I think it’s time for a change. Taking into account man’s long history for violence and revenge, I do believe women would do a better job of things." - you are so kind :D. But remember that women have already ruled the world before, and things were equally violent (Europe in medieval times).

    Great comment: thanks for your input :D!

    Cheers

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  29. Hello Trinity :),

    LOL LS and I are co-gladiators LOL, we debate for a living lol *nodding*.

    Well, I would say that men need to control themselves. Both husband and wife need each other's prayers so that their life together can receive God's light upon them :).

    "Women need love while Men need respect, are you agree with me?" - women certainly look for love above all things, I suppose. But they also need respect (what is love without respect? The same as nothing). Men certainly look for respect, primarily (specially in extremely traditional societies: they want their families to know that they are the bread providers, and that they should given and recognised authority for that). In modern societies, men still want respect (it's a genetic condition lol) but they also value love. They don't have that "bread provider" syndrome since women also work and contribute in house expenses.
    This gender thing is more complex than it looks, right :)?

    Oh, I will come over to your place to check it out :). Thanks *bowing*! I will enjoy it for sure :D...

    Thanks for your input, Trinity; it was very much appreciated :-D.

    Cheers

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  30. I think it's natural for both men and women to want to taste all the flavors in the candy shop, but it is cruel, selfish and destructive to do so.

    My husband and I actually discuss this a lot. Neither of us is sure that man and woman are "meant" to be monogamous for a lifetime. But we both agree that a long-term relationship, albeit maybe difficult at times, has many rewards. And fidelity and loyalty create stability instead of torn and broken hearts...and dysfunction.

    It's fine to fantasize, and even share fantasies, among mates. But I think that people who initiate affairs, male or female, are usually just trying to boost their deflated self-esteem.

    Yikes, I hope I never have to eat my words! :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. PS - I love what livingsword said:

    "True strength means you will do the right thing despite suffering, or a difficult challenge, it is easy to take the other lesser path in the shadows…anybody can do that!"

    I totally agree.

    Max, thanks for the fascinating post and lively discussion! It's a smorgasboard, uh, er, candy shop of opinions!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hi Max;

    What an interesting assortment of thoughts you have “provoked” among your guests….let me go through your comment to me…It seems like ages since I wrote it!

    Let me see what you have cooked up….

    You said:
    I am even surprised that you came over this soon...good thing I have prepared some tea for us lol... biscuits lol? :).

    I respond:
    Tea is fine (Earl Grey…hot, 1 sugar and a spot of cream please) or coffee (Kona 1 sugar)…what kinds of biscuits do you have…any chocolate?

    You said:
    "you have served up a smorgasbord…..I’ll just line up here at the start and make my way through…trying to not be a glutton…willing to share with others…." - what is a smorgasbord? LOL LOL you a glutton? Nooo...

    I respond:
    LOL
    What is a smorgasbord? A North American way of laying out massive amounts of food of numerous varieties…you fill up your plate go eat it and fill it up again as many times as you like… I am going to one on Christmas day…You may have heard of it as a buffet…

    Here’s a buffet in New Foundland
    http://www.fairmont.com/newfoundland/GuestServices/Restaurants/Christmas+Day+Dinner+Buffet.htm

    A chocolate buffet in Vancouver :)
    http://www.vancouver.suttonplace.com/Chocoholic_Buffet.htm

    You said:
    "Your supposition about women having the same proclivities towards war is interesting…of course war can be seen in more than one way…is it war to defend yourself when invaded or imminently threatened?" - I think that war is made whenever you have to fight. If you have to fight to defend yourself, it is still war; but a necessary one. But it's true, LS; women are as prone to war as men; our minds are not that different, only our bodies are...

    I respond:
    I think there are some basic gender differences that make males and females complimentary…But as far as morality both genders have many challenges that are extremely similar…I have noticed that male and female bodies are different (fortunately lol) but they are also of the same species, once again we are complimentary…

    You said:
    "Obviously wars would happen if there was not even a single man on the planet, no matter how hard society attempts to feminize men they will not in the end be able to “break” them, just as it is not possible to do this with women from the opposite trajectory…" - Heavens no! I want men to remain malish, as they all should be. We leave the femininisation to women (and God knows some of them need to be feminine LOL)! From a man I just expect respect, that's all. War is here to stay, it's a human condition....

    I respond:
    LOL
    I know you like the masculine and the feminine differences….but much of society does not…(by the way I am not necessarily talking about gay or lesbian but more of a cultural shift intoning that many of the more masculine traits are less desirable)…For example the attempts at making school or sports less competitive is against the more masculine competitive (and generally risk taking) inclinations…. That being said I have seen more than a few women start “wars”….along with more than a few men…

    You said:
    "I doubt that the underlying reason for the “tall, slim, blonde vamp” to strategize and manipulate to such a degree has much to with sex, it has more to do with her own insecurities and weaknesses…." - I see...tell me more, tell me more LS...:)

    I respond:
    Generally a person that is doing these kinds of things is compensating, they are searching, this is cloaked in indulging. Another example is a man that is small in physical stature so he is extraordinarily aggressive to compensate, ever noticed that little dogs generally bark more than bigger dogs? Smoke and mirrors…

    Why do I talk a lot? It is compensating for my underlying concern (some may say fear) of not being understood….We all have traits like these…some are expressed in sex others are not, not everything has to do with sex….lol

    You said:
    "Which of course means her “healthy sexual life” is non-existent, the only “healthy sexual life” is found within the treasure of a monogamous unbreakable marriage between one man and one woman…. What a sad existence…." - LOL I knew it! I never bet, but this time I told someone "LS is going to say that a healthy sexual life exists only within marriage" ....gotta go collect my dough LOL LOL :).
    You do know that "Healthy sexual life" is between the steady (not so steady) couple, don't you? Which apparently was not existant as you so well noted :).

    I respond:
    LOL LOL
    How many ways can I say the same thing! LOL

    There is nothing that says anything I can see as to who has a "Healthy sexual life" in your examples…Which couple? Having lots of sex is not necessarily health and neither is passionate sex for that matter….I know I’ve had a lot of both (just trying to keep your ratings up LOL LOL)

    We are designed for “monogamous unbreakable marriage between one man and one woman”. Does that mean that a person cannot physically have an orgasm any other way? No. BUT the optimal conditions for sex are within the kind of union of “one flesh” I have described, that sex is even more superior when God is “in the picture” for the couple….

    You said:
    "As far as the decimation of the relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend, if he is not interested or loyal enough to stay with his girlfriend then she is better off without him…." - absolutely!!! *spit*....I have a problem with unfaithful and disloyal men...

    I respond:
    Careful now somebody in Singapore may get in trouble for you spitting (where you spitting out chewing gum? LOL LOL)

    Do you also have an equal problem with unfaithful and disloyal women?

    You said:
    "No seduction, arm touching, “accidental” breast touching him, hair touching face, wickedness in the eyes, has any effect….this tells us that he is at least in the throws of romantic love which is a powerful champion but not the most powerful…" - no, it means that he is in deeply love with his fiancée. Of course romantic love is there; but that alone would not be sufficient. Romantic love plus real love plus deep respect and sense of loyalty is the perfect formula to any successful couple. The betrothed man is admirable and a true gentleman...

    I respond:
    What you say is possible (they are your charters so you are “in their heads” after all….lol) but it is possible for the man to still be in that romantic-infatuated place and still not notice the usual attempts made upon him, but this stage is short lived….

    At this point he may not even need the loyalty and respect to “just say no” to brazen hussies…loyalty and respect are quite different creatures for men and women…Keep in mind I see the man in this scenario as not in quite his normal state of mind, I see him as high on that buzz from the current state of their relationship…some would say he is not in his right mind currently LOL By the way this is also possible for the female in a somewhat different manner….since love is her primary mover (and his long term mover is respect not love)…

    You said:
    "Once again this shows her sad weaknesses, insecurities and inability to commit as she wants what is taken…she is so pathetic that she is attacking a family member…I am sad for her…." - it is sad indeed, LS. I almost feel sorry for this kind of women...almost. I think that this type of women must check themselves; the road they are taking is shameful; and it doesn't bring any benefits to the pro-femina cause *nodding*.

    I respond:
    Obviously she is responsible for her actions but I find this sad….she is flailing about in a rather obvious way (although men can be pretty thick about these things). I have had some great conversations with women like this….

    LOL I agree it does not help the “pro-femina cause”, well put….

    You said:
    "When the romantic love wears off, and it always wears off, there are different relationships left…." - does it really wear off? Or do people stop being creative within their marriages?

    I respond:
    LOL
    Are there times were lack of creativity plays a part? Yes. But in the long run it is unsustainable….and this is ok….what is beyond is so much better!!! The caterpillar is transformed into a butterfly…but it is hard to convince the caterpillar that the butterfly is more impressive…Ever known a couple that were clearly doomed but they were romantically in love? They will not listen to you, it is like a drug…and biologically there are similarities…

    To those in the embrace of romantic love they almost never believe that it will end….and although you may only get those same highs rarely in the future that does not mean that they are not replaced with something better…it is not about negligees or make up….

    You said:
    "A healthy marriage does not depend upon romantic love…it may captivate for a short time but does not have lasting power…it is not humanly sustainable…" - no, but it depends on love, itself. We must love our spouses (and this sentiment has an extremely broad meaning) :)!

    I respond:
    These concepts take on different meanings to both genders, and there are the major cultural differences (also on issues like this we often pour different meanings into our words), I am trying to deal with commonalities that transcend…

    While love is undeniably important…in general women need love and men need respect…now clearly both need…well both of these things….but I am speaking as a core subject….sex for example is primarily about respect for men, some may misunderstand this and think it is about power but power is actually down a notch from respect….This is all engaging with the sexual urges…

    You said:
    "I choose to love…even when I am not happy I choose to love. My love is not dependant upon romance, or feelings, certainly they are there but they are not as essential as choosing to love no matter what." - this is beautiful, LS :)! I absolutely agree with you :D! Love is the most gorgeous feeling on earth. Until I actually loved I never thought it could be so good.

    I respond:
    As St.Paul said… “I’m bankrupt without love”…I celebrate the kind of love you are living and exploring is it is so very wonderful, the adventure gets more intense but it is different as the seed grows into an extravagant tree and the flourishes with its fruit….The seed could never imagine being a tree and then imagine the excitement with the fruit…

    When love is guided and harnessed by the will; the power of this kind of love is awesome….

    You said:
    "Love is a verb, love is a choice…You put your love into action by choice…this love is not dependant upon fleeting lust, or fading beauty, it can love within lack of sex or sensuality, it can love when only ugliness remains, physical or other….when there is nothing lovable about the loved…you can still choose to put in action love….this love does not stray…" - yes, yes...that's exactly what I tell people :). When one loves somebody one must be that person's harbour; the object of one's love must be absolutely sure that nothing bad will happen when beside his/her love. And if something bad occurs; they know that together they can face and endure anything :).

    I respond:
    LOL
    I very much enjoyed your comment here….including but not limited to “one's love must be absolutely sure”….The ideas around the negative and positive parts of life’s experiences is interesting, few want the gift of suffering yet it is often truly a gift…

    You said:
    "This kind of love comes from God…." - I don't know about that; but I know that God plans things correctly :).

    I respond:
    Max would you agree with the Biblical view that “God is love”? Not just loving but “love”….

    You said:
    "This man is a wimp, a loser; he is less than a man. Getting sex or the attention of a woman is easy! Standing behind a commitment to love that is strength….that is a real man!" - He is an absolute dog (and no, this is not an absolute truth lol)! I wouldn't say that it is easy to get sex or attention of a woman (because there are some women who are extremely difficult); but I'd say that it is simpler to prey for sex than to commit in a real relationship.

    I respond:
    LOL
    Be nice to the dogs now LOL

    You see men will just look for a soft target…she says no then next….that’s how it works when looking for sex…there are plenty of women willing to say yes…getting sex is very easy… what you are describing is something beyond just getting a sexual partner, and yes relationships are hard work….they take constant “maintenance” but the “pay off” is big time!

    You said:
    "Being able to harness and steer desire in an appropriate manner that takes skill and strength anybody can give in to temptation…what strength or skill does it take to lose?" - no skill whatsoever. I admire those men who can resist to temptations. I am sure you know men's fame regarding sex, right?

    I respond:
    I have no idea what kind of fame you are speaking of… LOL

    You said:
    About men being easy...not all of them are. But word has it that men are whores (pardon my french); which is sad really; cause they should also control themselves (this burden is only put on women). However society has agreed that to be "the man" one has to sleep with as many women as possible; and if you ask me, a man is a man when he knows how to treat a woman, how to touch and respect her (many men have had a lot of women and still have no skills at all *nodding*)...it's about quality and not quantity, fellows!

    I respond:
    Obviously we are speaking in general here there are men and women crossing the spectrum on this topic….I think perhaps Portugal is quite different than here….It is just as acceptable for a woman to be sexually aggressive here as a man…(in general in my society, I am not saying I agree with these things but I believe that I am accurately describing them)…

    For many quantity is quality!

    You said:
    "Humans have the ability to understand the differences between right and wrong, we may cover this over with a blister of continuing abuse but it is still there underneath…a sore spot…of sin…how we do like to run and hide from the light….trying to play in the dark of me...me…pride…" - I think most humans like to throw themselves into the sweage of moral before they can realise that it is not satisfying, and that it drains them. Being lascivious is not being avant-garde, it is being stupid (if people only knew what they do to themselves: body and soulwise).

    I respond:
    Being lascivious certainly is nothing new…or avant-garde, but since so many do not believe in a Higher Power or Authority in their lives they do what they do. After all if you truly believe there is no God then nobody here has the authority to tell you what to do, since then all truth is subjective…The other end of the spectrum are those who act like any and all sex is evil.

    Would you call lascivious or sleeping around sin?

    You said:
    "Like getting sex proves you are a desirable man or woman…LOL...it proves nothing of the kind!!!!" - of course not; it only proves that you either have a vagina or a penis and that you are making use of it *nodding*. A desirable man/woman many times doesn't even have to make use of sex...their words are more of a foreplay then foreplay itself...

    I respond:
    A Ferrari looks even more impressive when it drives by slowly than when it goes by too fast to be seen….(not bad for a guy that’s not into cars eh?) Since we talking about food and sex I thought it would be time to mention fast cars…

    You said:
    "True strength means you will do the right thing despite suffering, or a difficult challenge, it is easy to take the other lesser path in the shadows…anybody can do that!" - true. However doing the right thing despite suffering is not for everybody, LS; most people prefer to take the lesser path (as you called it) *nodding*.

    I respond:
    I totally agree with you Max! I used to be that man of whom I am speaking, the lascivious, promiscuous one…We can be so very twisted, warped and sinful in our thinking….We can contort the way we think of things into the most grievous evil and call it good, then we can take good and call it evil…our potential for depravity is abundantly clear we have a history packed with it….

    You said:
    "In our fallen state we have a propensity towards evil, but because we have some of God’s characteristics stamped upon our souls we have a noble part to us that we can aspire towards…With His help this is possible…genuine life can be experienced as it is designed to be…" - this may sound awkward, but...LS, I agree with you. And I am not going to add any more words so that your input won't be spoiled :).

    I respond:
    I am just writing down this time and date of agreement for my files….LOL

    You said:
    Very yummy, well done Supremo Maximus Chef " - LOL I am trying to improve my cooking skills; I am glad you liked it *bowing*!

    I respond:
    You are a marvelous chef! Each meal leaves you with anticipation for the next….

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  33. Hi Peter;

    Something you wrote in your excellent comment on the article grabbed my attention…

    You said…. “As for women ruling the world, I think it’s time for a change. Taking into account man’s long history for violence and revenge, I do believe women would do a better job of things.”

    I hear where you are coming from…Personally I think the problem is us humans running the show here….not just men and/or women…and I think both genders have just as many flaws (although not always the same ones). Things would work better if more of the world established the equality of the genders as far as their humanity…I would rather take people one at a time rather than thinking that women or men would either do a better job than the other, we are stronger when we work in a complimentary fashion…

    What do you think?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Merry Christmas Trinity!

    It’s nice to see your smiling face!

    Max and I may write long comments but a fair amount of them is us requoting the other for context….

    I agree 100% with your statement “Women need love while Men need respect”!

    We must have both received this information form the same Source!!!!

    That is the best approach for a marriage relationship!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hi Max;

    I’m responding to your comment to Trinity….LOL

    You said:

    "Women need love while Men need respect, are you agree with me?" - women certainly look for love above all things, I suppose. But they also need respect (what is love without respect? The same as nothing). Men certainly look for respect, primarily (specially in extremely traditional societies: they want their families to know that they are the bread providers, and that they should given and recognised authority for that). In modern societies, men still want respect (it's a genetic condition lol) but they also value love. They don't have that "bread provider" syndrome since women also work and contribute in house expenses.
    This gender thing is more complex than it looks, right :)?

    I respond:
    Max you are correct that love and respect are important to both genders but the way it is received, transmitted, and communicated is different. A man receives love thru respect…it may be said that women receive respect thru love…Obviously there is an intertwining here but I think you may get what I mean….also we should take into account culture, and personality…but over all I believe this stands well….

    When women say they want security men hear “make money so we have financial security” whereas the woman is looking for relational security thru love, emotion.

    The man says I want respect (we could get into sex here but that would send us in another direction since it seems to have a lot of velocity here in the Max zone LOL), and the woman tries to show her respect thru love, whereas it is shown to a man by doing things (some words of course also) such as…sex…there is a tension between sex and respect for the man and love and sex for the woman….

    Please note I am speaking about relationships here more than courting, they can be different….

    This is the short response….LOL

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hi Lynda!

    My current wife and I talk about this a fair bit also….

    My first marriage was when I was not a follower of Jesus, we had a “party lifestyle” frequently involving other women in our sex life together….We both thought this was the way we were “meant” to be….what a disaster…what a train wreck….(short version)

    The “rewards” of as you so wonderfully said “fidelity and loyalty create stability instead of torn and broken hearts...and dysfunction.” Are so very true and often have to be lived to be believed or understood, they are hard for those not involved to understand….

    Needless to say my second marriage is not at all like my first, and neither are my wives…or me for that matter….thank God….

    Another thing I learned was fantasies can be just as dangerous and destructive as actually living them out…they are seeds, and when you plant those kinds of seeds what grows can be ugly…

    What do you think?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hi Lynda;

    Ohhhhh if I had just read ahead I would have seen you mentioning me….that’s funny….LOL

    To give away an article title I’m using I a couple of weeks “Life is an Opportunity” to do the right thing….of course one of the challenges in our societies is the conflict over what is actually right!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hello Lynda,

    I know where you're coming from; but I agree with you when you say that it is cruel, selfish and destructive.

    How interesting: so, both of you think, at times, that the search for several partners is inherent to men and women; is that it? Personally, I don't agree; although I am aware of the fact that society taught men that they should have as many wives as they could.

    "But we both agree that a long-term relationship, albeit maybe difficult at times, has many rewards." - right on :D

    "And fidelity and loyalty create stability instead of torn and broken hearts...and dysfunction." - I am a true defender of loyalty and fidelity above all things.

    "It's fine to fantasize, and even share fantasies, among mates. But I think that people who initiate affairs, male or female, are usually just trying to boost their deflated self-esteem." - there is nothing wrong with fantasies. Yes, usually low self-esteem is the root for many sexual misconducts.

    "Yikes, I hope I never have to eat my words! :) " - LOL LOL this was a good one.

    Thanks for your input, Lynda: I loved it :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  39. Lynda,

    Livingsword is a wise man: he knows what he's talking about :).

    You are welcome; and I am glad that you like it :D!

    LOL Candy shop, indeed :).

    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Yes, Max, he appears to be wiser than many!!!

    Happy holidays!

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  41. Well Max, he and I both feel that it's natural to find the grass greener elsewhere, or to just want excitement or to be appreciated by someone new. And we agree that the basic urges may not be as selective as we would like them to be. And that it's natural to FEEL attracted.

    But we both feel strongely that to act out on these urges and attractions is just plain wrong! Just because many species switch partners and freely do it in the brush, doesn't make it right. We have intelligence and common sense and intuition and faith, to elevate us above the brush, lol...

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  42. And we have love...

    I forgot to mention the most important one!

    ReplyDelete
  43. hi livingsword,

    sorry to hear about the train wreck. my parents had a train wreck, and i know it wasn't pretty for them or for us (3 sisters).

    my feeling is that i learned from their experience, that i wanted to have willing and total commitment.

    as has been pointed out, love is a DECISION. no one promises that it will be easy. there will always be issues to work out, but that is good. that means you're not stagnant, that the relationship is growing in mutual understanding, when you work through those issues.

    i don't feel threatened by occasional casual fantasies. if i feel one of them getting to be too much, i get an ugly feeling that tells me to put it away (call it intuition). and i do! i just put it away, even if i don't "want" to. i've never had any grow so big that i couldn't just bury that seedling!

    thanks for the discussion!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hi LS,

    Now I am ready: we just had almost 3 hours of power cut in my neighbourd...I was cut off right in the middle of my Survivor comment lol.

    Let's see what you have for me:

    Yes, it seems like my guests liked the theme :)!

    "Let me see what you have cooked up…." - LOL LOL be my guest :)

    "Tea is fine (Earl Grey…hot, 1 sugar and a spot of cream please) or coffee (Kona 1 sugar)…what kinds of biscuits do you have…any chocolate?" - LOL LOL who drinks cold tea? Let me prepare you a cup, then....I have ginger biscuits, custard biscuits and chocolate chiffon...a side note: did you know that kona (the sound of it) is a very bad word in Portuguese? Anyway, I only have Sical Columbian coffee. lol

    "What is a smorgasbord? A North American way of laying out massive amounts of food of numerous varieties…you fill up your plate go eat it and fill it up again as many times as you like… I am going to one on Christmas day…You may have heard of it as a buffet…" - oh, ok...thank you for the explanation :). Oh, you are going to one? How interesting...

    "Here’s a buffet in New Foundland" - (remember our agreement?) it is a nice place. Is the food good?

    "A chocolate buffet in Vancouver :)" - now this looks delicious!!!! Mmmmm...you're going there too?

    "I think there are some basic gender differences that make males and females complimentary…But as far as morality both genders have many challenges that are extremely similar…I have noticed that male and female bodies are different (fortunately lol) but they are also of the same species, once again we are complimentary…" - LOL of course our bodies are different (thank God...I prefer being a woman lol); that is why I said that our minds aren't that different (we have both brilliant minds, at core). Yes, we are quite complementary (that is why God built Eve...He knew that Adam wouldn't go far without her, really LOL LOL); in fact I believe that if men and women join forces beautiful things can come out of it (strategically speaking)

    "LOL I know you like the masculine and the feminine differences….but much of society does not…(by the way I am not necessarily talking about gay or lesbian but more of a cultural shift intoning that many of the more masculine traits are less desirable)…" - I do; I like the marvellous differences between ladies and gents lol. Yes, I have noticed that shift; and to tell you the truth I don't like it. Men are supposed to be men (of course they must respect women: their moms, aunties, sisters, cousins, friends, girlfriends, wives and mistresses...if any - just because it is wrong it doesn't mean that the latter shouldn't be respected); and women are supposed to be women (they don't need to act like man to be successful, they can thrive by being intelligent women. Many women waste time downgrading men; instead they should study them and realise that men admire and respect intelligent women...). My views do not refer to homosexuals either.

    "For example the attempts at making school or sports less competitive is against the more masculine competitive (and generally risk taking) inclinations…. That being said I have seen more than a few women start “wars”….along with more than a few men…" - sports must be competitive: testosterone is essential (the thing is many think that competitive sports are the catalyst of sexual violance *nodding*; but I wonder if it is true). Yeah, for example: Margareth Thatcher.

    "Generally a person that is doing these kinds of things is compensating, they are searching, this is cloaked in indulging. Another example is a man that is small in physical stature so he is extraordinarily aggressive to compensate, ever noticed that little dogs generally bark more than bigger dogs? Smoke and mirrors…" - I see what you mean...Peter said something like this, I believe (some women that fail in their relationships try to compensate by causing other women to suffer). Yeah, my tiny fluffy black dog used to bark more than Netti (but she kicked his butt lol lol).

    "Why do I talk a lot? It is compensating for my underlying concern (some may say fear) of not being understood….We all have traits like these…some are expressed in sex others are not, not everything has to do with sex….lol" - lol evidently not (not everything has to do with sex). So, you talk a lot because you fear not being understood....that is rubbish, you do know that, don't you lol? Cause I talk a lot, and I do not have that concern, since I am pretty clear lol. I just love communicating :).

    "LOL LOL How many ways can I say the same thing! LOL" - lol lol many ways....

    "There is nothing that says anything I can see as to who has a "Healthy sexual life" in your examples…Which couple? Having lots of sex is not necessarily health and neither is passionate sex for that matter….I know I’ve had a lot of both (just trying to keep your ratings up LOL LOL)" - LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL *nodding*. I see where you are coming from and I suggest that you read the article again LOL you'll get there LOL...

    "We are designed for “monogamous unbreakable marriage between one man and one woman”. Does that mean that a person cannot physically have an orgasm any other way? No. BUT the optimal conditions for sex are within the kind of union of “one flesh” I have described, that sex is even more superior when God is “in the picture” for the couple…." - I agree with the monogamous part; but I have a question for you: if we were designed for "monogamous unbreakable marriage" how come Abraham, Isaac and Jacob had so many women? And God didn't tell them that they were sinning...
    Orgasm...the most famous seconds, for which people do crazy things *nodding*...

    "Careful now somebody in Singapore may get in trouble for you spitting (where you spitting out chewing gum? LOL LOL)" - LOL LOL LOL nooo...it was saliva LOL.

    "Do you also have an equal problem with unfaithful and disloyal women?" - well, I am only concerned with men, since I am heterosexual. As long as no woman touches my fiancé...everything is cool by me. Other than that whatever they do is between them and God.

    "What you say is possible (they are your charters so you are “in their heads” after all….lol) but it is possible for the man to still be in that romantic-infatuated place and still not notice the usual attempts made upon him, but this stage is short lived…." - lol that's right, I am in their heads lol. It is possible, yes; however if a man is honourable and God fearing; he won't yield.

    "At this point he may not even need the loyalty and respect to “just say no” to brazen hussies…loyalty and respect are quite different creatures for men and women…" - LOL LOL "brazen hussies" LOL I loved that expression. I must agree that women are more understanding than men when it comes to infidelity; but there are exceptions (as in everything in life).

    "Keep in mind I see the man in this scenario as not in quite his normal state of mind, I see him as high on that buzz from the current state of their relationship…some would say he is not in his right mind currently LOL By the way this is also possible for the female in a somewhat different manner….since love is her primary mover (and his long term mover is respect not love)…" - LOL oh, so when a man is in deep love he is not in his normal state of mind. So, when is he in a normal state of mind? When the concept of love shifts? When he only loves the companionship of his wife?

    "Obviously she is responsible for her actions but I find this sad….she is flailing about in a rather obvious way (although men can be pretty thick about these things). I have had some great conversations with women like this…." - yes, I bet you did....

    "LOL Are there times were lack of creativity plays a part? Yes. But in the long run it is unsustainable….and this is ok….what is beyond is so much better!!!" - I guess. I have to experience it before I go further in this convo...so you have to wait until I become 80 LOL LOL....

    "The caterpillar is transformed into a butterfly…but it is hard to convince the caterpillar that the butterfly is more impressive…Ever known a couple that were clearly doomed but they were romantically in love? They will not listen to you, it is like a drug…and biologically there are similarities…" - I see what you mean. Yes, I have met couples like that...so sad *nodding*.

    "To those in the embrace of romantic love they almost never believe that it will end….and although you may only get those same highs rarely in the future that does not mean that they are not replaced with something better…it is not about negligees or make up…." - that is why I said that romantic love alone is not enough; true love must exist; and true love goes beyong sex, beyond anything that is matter...

    "These concepts take on different meanings to both genders, and there are the major cultural differences (also on issues like this we often pour different meanings into our words), I am trying to deal with commonalities that transcend…" - I think that love is universal; and that gender is not a factor. But I must agree that reactions to love crisis are different in both genders, yes....

    "While love is undeniably important…in general women need love and men need respect…now clearly both need…well both of these things….but I am speaking as a core subject….sex for example is primarily about respect for men, some may misunderstand this and think it is about power but power is actually down a notch from respect….This is all engaging with the sexual urges…" - I don't agree with the verbage: women seek love (primarily) and man seek respect (also primarily); but they both need love and respect. Aha, so sex is a question of power...I can appreciate that...very interesting...

    "As St.Paul said… “I’m bankrupt without love”…I celebrate the kind of love you are living and exploring is it is so very wonderful, the adventure gets more intense but it is different as the seed grows into an extravagant tree and the flourishes with its fruit….The seed could never imagine being a tree and then imagine the excitement with the fruit…" - lol my mom said "LS is talking about Paul". I know what you mean, I know what you mean :).

    "When love is guided and harnessed by the will; the power of this kind of love is awesome…." - I hear you :D.

    "I very much enjoyed your comment here….including but not limited to “one's love must be absolutely sure”….The ideas around the negative and positive parts of life’s experiences is interesting, few want the gift of suffering yet it is often truly a gift…" - yes, we have discussed already about suffering being many times a gift.

    "Max would you agree with the Biblical view that “God is love”? Not just loving but “love”…." - if you are referring to I John 4:7; well it makes sense what he says; however I'd say God is beyond love (He is much more than that, something we can't grasp as humans).

    "LOL Be nice to the dogs now LOL" - LOL LOL you know what I mean...

    "You see men will just look for a soft target…she says no then next….that’s how it works when looking for sex…there are plenty of women willing to say yes…getting sex is very easy… what you are describing is something beyond just getting a sexual partner, and yes relationships are hard work….they take constant “maintenance” but the “pay off” is big time!" - oh, so men are big time shoppers: if they don't find the size of the skirt they want in one shop, they will move on to the next. Men are basically low-lives, when looking for sex: anything will do. LOL yes, thank heavens there are women willing to say yes (they keep the streets safe of certain types of men lol). "constant maintenaince" lol...nice expression lol...of course I agree with the latter part.

    "I have no idea what kind of fame you are speaking of… LOL" - LOL LOL yes, you do...lol

    "Obviously we are speaking in general here there are men and women crossing the spectrum on this topic….I think perhaps Portugal is quite different than here….It is just as acceptable for a woman to be sexually aggressive here as a man…(in general in my society, I am not saying I agree with these things but I believe that I am accurately describing them)…" - of course we are not talking about the exceptions (we are being like those groups who create the consensual truths lol). Yes, it may be seen as acceptable but still women are confronted with the fact that they are expected to be more reserved (I often see North American women saying something like "I had 11 men" one gives them that look and they say "well, it wasn't quite that number...I didn't actually sleep with 5 of them"...come on!). Here in Portugal women are sexually aggressive (if they descend from Africans or Brazilians, cause the Portuguese Portuguese are sexually repressed); but older men don't see it with good eyes. Younger men don't care, because if women become more aggressive it means "profit" for them.

    "For many quantity is quality!" - rubbish!

    "Being lascivious certainly is nothing new…or avant-garde, but since so many do not believe in a Higher Power or Authority in their lives they do what they do. After all if you truly believe there is no God then nobody here has the authority to tell you what to do, since then all truth is subjective…The other end of the spectrum are those who act like any and all sex is evil." - extremes *nodding*, I can't stand extremes *nodding*.

    "Would you call lascivious or sleeping around sin?" - I would call it damaging to the body and soul.

    "A Ferrari looks even more impressive when it drives by slowly than when it goes by too fast to be seen….(not bad for a guy that’s not into cars eh?) Since we talking about food and sex I thought it would be time to mention fast cars…" - LOL LOL LOL yeah, not bad, LS. I heard this theory about men and cars...*nodding*....nevermind...

    "I totally agree with you Max! I used to be that man of whom I am speaking, the lascivious, promiscuous one…We can be so very twisted, warped and sinful in our thinking….We can contort the way we think of things into the most grievous evil and call it good, then we can take good and call it evil…our potential for depravity is abundantly clear we have a history packed with it…." - thanks for sharing it with the group, LS...:). I wish I could say something here, but my credentials are not as rich as yours LOL.

    "I am just writing down this time and date of agreement for my files….LOL" - LOL LOL sometimes I want to do the same..it is so rare, isn't it? lol

    "You are a marvelous chef! Each meal leaves you with anticipation for the next…. " - thank you *bowing*! You sure know how to express a compliment lol...

    This was amazingly interesting, LS...thank you, my friend :).

    ReplyDelete
  45. Lynda,

    Thank you (although I only celebrate New Year lol)!!

    Merry festivities!

    ReplyDelete
  46. Hello again, LS;

    "I’m responding to your comment to Trinity….LOL" - LOL oh boy....her we go...
    Of course you do know that I have written, at your request, an article about this...don't you? LOL...

    "Max you are correct that love and respect are important to both genders but the way it is received, transmitted, and communicated is different. A man receives love thru respect…it may be said that women receive respect thru love…" - I don't agree that women receive respect through love. Love is love, respect is respect. Women who are beaten up by their husbands/boyfriends (who usually say that they love them) are not receiving respect.
    A man can be respected, but if the wife doesn't love him...he just has an official sex and domestic slave in his hands.

    "Obviously there is an intertwining here but I think you may get what I mean….also we should take into account culture, and personality…but over all I believe this stands well…." - I get what you mean, but I don't agree with it entirely. Yes, culture and personality play a big role here.

    "When women say they want security men hear “make money so we have financial security” whereas the woman is looking for relational security thru love, emotion." - yes, but this doesn't mean that by wanting love and emotion they are receiving respect from their bread-provider men. And of course they hear "make money...." it is in their genes that they must be the providers (therefore the conflict nowadays: cause in many families women are the ones playing that role).

    "The man says I want respect (we could get into sex here but that would send us in another direction since it seems to have a lot of velocity here in the Max zone LOL), and the woman tries to show her respect thru love, whereas it is shown to a man by doing things (some words of course also) such as…sex…there is a tension between sex and respect for the man and love and sex for the woman…." - LOL let's stick to the "I want respect" lol. Oh, is that right? Do you really believe in this theory of yours, LS? Do you live your life by this?

    "Please note I am speaking about relationships here more than courting, they can be different…." - yes, I know :).

    "This is the short response….LOL " - very enlightening short response...thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  47. LS;

    Fantasies per se aren't harmful. For example, if one has fantasies with its wife...is that harmful? No.
    So the danger lies in the object of those fantasies, and if only one can't control its impulses (and that's when seeds grow to be ugly).

    ReplyDelete
  48. Lynda,

    I respect that :).

    "And we agree that the basic urges may not be as selective as we would like them to be. And that it's natural to FEEL attracted." - I understand that you and your husband have an agreement (that is quite honest, if you ask me). Sometimes, couples have their own codes; and I accept that.

    However what is wrong with re-designing ways to ensure the couple keeps feeling attracted by each other? Why look outside what you have at home? Maybe it is my young-in-love-mind talking here; but I don't see myself agreeing with my husband that we should feel attracted by other people.

    "But we both feel strongely that to act out on these urges and attractions is just plain wrong!" - ah, so you agree that it is natural to feel attracted and be appreciated by others but you don't actually act upon it? Interesting...

    "Just because many species switch partners and freely do it in the brush, doesn't make it right. We have intelligence and common sense and intuition and faith, to elevate us above the brush, lol..." - lol lol it is not that I wish to impose my personal beliefs here but I am glad that you are intelligent, have faith, intuition and common sense enough to stay tall :).

    This exchange of ideas is great! Thanks Lynda :D

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  49. LOL of course you have love, Lynda! I even think that that is why you don't really take the plunge :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  50. Max, I think when a couple has been together for 33 years, as we have, it's part of the growing to discuss all sorts of issues. And the ability to discuss honestly and without reactiveness or defensiveness grows also.

    I think that even if attraction between spouses is still strong, attractions will come and go. To me, this is the nature of things. But impulse behaviors of ANY kind seem to bear only rotten fruit, pardon the analogy. I would never give up the history and connection I feel with my husband for a superficial attraction.

    Thanks for the great discussion, Max. I enjoyed it!

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  51. Hi! Livingsword and Max. In reply to Livingsword's question: What do you think?

    Taking into account the last 120 years of world conflict and the never ending banter between male leaders that are involved in these, one can start to lose hope in their leadership skills and wonder if they really want peace at all.

    When it comes down to it, I’m disillusioned with how the male leaders, during these conflicts, have gone about things.

    Yes, we must fight for what is right but it appears to me that men are all to ready to fire the first shot when peace is the far better option.

    I then look to others that I think will do a better job. Perhaps I’m too naïve but I think that women with their mothering ways would treat this world far better.

    Regards
    Peter

    ReplyDelete
  52. This was just wonderful reading. I just can't agree more with your thoughts....very well written & Here's Wishing you a Merry Christmas & a Wonderful New Year. May the New Year bring lots of joy, happiness & prosperity in your life & your loved ones.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Hi Max,

    I just passed to wish you a great Christmas. I didn't read your post but, as soon as the season passes (and I get more free time) I'll read it because I'm intrigued about the title...

    So, as we say "Um feliz Natal!"

    ReplyDelete
  54. Hello Lynda,

    "I think when a couple has been together for 33 years, as we have, it's part of the growing to discuss all sorts of issues." - 33 years? That is wonderful: congratulations :D!!! You are right, when a couples is together for that long they have no issues in discussing all sorts of subjects :).

    "And the ability to discuss honestly and without reactiveness or defensiveness grows also." - I hear you :).

    "But impulse behaviors of ANY kind seem to bear only rotten fruit, pardon the analogy." - lol lol you are pardoned; but I must say that I loved the analogy lol :). It goes without saying that I agree...

    "I would never give up the history and connection I feel with my husband for a superficial attraction." - this is so beautiful, Lynda! By the way, did you know that your name means "beautiful" in Portuguese? Of course we write "Linda" :D.
    There are things between two people that cannot be deleted: history, codes, feelings...the connection (as you so well pointed). I can see that in my parents who have been together for 32 years, they have their ups and downs but they still love each other...it is beautiful :D!

    It's my pleasure; I also enjoyed this discussion :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  55. Hello, Peter :D!

    I thank you for the vote of confidence in women, Peter; it is quite positive of you *bowing*. No, you are not being naïve, you are just looking for alternatives; I get that...
    We will have a chance to see how women behave when they are in power with Argentina's female President - who alread wants to start a quarrel with England over the Falklands/Malvinas...

    I would like to say one last thing: not all women have the motherly instinct (unfortunately), so how would we ensure that the woman to be elected to power would have it?

    Great reply, Peter: thanks :)!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  56. Kalyan,

    Thank you, I am glad you liked it *bowing*!

    Ooh, what lovely wishes :)...I wish you a Merry Christmas and an extremely Happy New Year! May 2008 bring you, and your loved ones, lots of love, inner-peace and prosperity :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  57. Hello Arms,

    LOL LOL the title is appealling, ey? Feel free to read it whenever you wish :)...

    Obrigada; e Feliz Natal para ti também, lindo :D!!!

    Um abraço

    ReplyDelete
  58. I enjoyed it too, Max! I'll come hang out on your page anytime! I love a good discussion when it's done with friendship and respect.

    Have a wonderful week. I'll be away at my sister's house, but I'll see you again soon!

    xxx -Lynda

    ReplyDelete
  59. Max girl, I know that it will be hard to blog during Xmas, as all my energy will be focused on my family and friends. So as I am going through a list of all blogger friends, finally I have reached you. Well, I really don't remember how it all started, its like what was first - chicken or egg, lol, meaning who found who. However on the end it does not matter, because I got to know someone who has lot to offer from the soul and does it very well, and I am aways honoured to read your inspirational writing and ideas. What nice about is that we all have our own opinions to start, but tend to converge into wonderful discussion that leads to great resolutions for better world. In addition I am going to thank you so much for all your kind comments, and keep coming back to every of my posts (that's dedication), and comments back and visitations, you name it - thank you. Lastly, knowing your status, lol, I still am going to wish you a very Merry Christmas and best wishes for Happy New Year 2008. Anna :)

    ReplyDelete
  60. Well it's not just women who are manipulative, but I suppose I can see where they get this reputation from. As for what it means to be human, I think that humanity can be described by a spectrum that has primitive, animalistic behavior on one extreme and civilized, decent behavior on another. I think the more we stay on the latter extreme, the more human we are, even though we are often compelled to move towards the former, such as when we have sex (which is necessary of course). Regardless, being civilized and resisting the urge to be primitive is what sets us apart from other species, so we ought to try to stay in the latter extreme or we lose out on what it means to be human. Yes, we can be classified as animals per se, but we're more than that. To be opportunistic cheaters like the vamps in these examples is to debase humanity.

    By the way, merry Christmas and happy new year Max! :D

    ReplyDelete
  61. Lynda,

    Please do! It will be our pleasure to have good discussions with you :). Absolutely, I find it awful when people debate with contempt and disrespect *nodding*.
    But here at the Maxzone we tend to respect and appreciate everyone’s opinion :).

    Thank you! You too have a wonderful week. Have fun at your sister’s.

    See you soon :).

    ReplyDelete
  62. Anna, my dear;

    I understand that it will be a bit difficult to blog during these days: family and friends are very important and every chance one gets to be united to them should be grabbed with both hands :). It is a blessing :)!

    LOL indeed, I don't remember either who found whom: all I know is that I am glad we found each other :). I love reading your posts (Story blob) and seeing your photos (my only photo): they are great blogs :D!
    You are most welcome, dear *bowing*!

    I thank you for all your kind words, and for your wishes :)! May 2008 be an even greater year than 2007 :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  63. Manimala,

    Oh my sweet Lord; what an amazing comment!! Thank you so much, Manimala *bowing*!

    "Well it's not just women who are manipulative, but I suppose I can see where they get this reputation from." - lol true, true...

    "I think the more we stay on the latter extreme, the more human we are, even though we are often compelled to move towards the former, such as when we have sex (which is necessary of course)." - I agree with you sex is extremely necessary. Yes, I also think that when we control our impulses we are more human (differing more from animals, which have sex whenever they feel like...).

    "Regardless, being civilized and resisting the urge to be primitive is what sets us apart from other species, so we ought to try to stay in the latter extreme or we lose out on what it means to be human." - this is beautifully put.

    "Yes, we can be classified as animals per se, but we're more than that." - we are so much more than that indeed :D. This is a chant to humans, I like it :).

    "To be opportunistic cheaters like the vamps in these examples is to debase humanity." - I hear you.

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too :D!

    ReplyDelete

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