The importance of being non-earnest

The world’s order is kept through deceit and falsity! Humans create mechanisms to maintain harmony within their relationships, households and society by opting between telling the truth and telling a non-truth. A few examples:

  • A friend of your introduces you to his girlfriend (you're a male). Then he asks you “what do you think of her?”; if you answer a) “I think nothing, since I don’t know her yet!”, he’ll think you’re jealous and worried about her interfering in you friendship; if you answer b) “I don’t like her!” besides thinking your jealous he’ll think that you want to sleep with her; if you answer c) “she’s beautiful, man!” he’ll be the happiest man on earth!
  • A woman asks her significant other “do you think that I’m fat?” if he answers, a) “yes, your hips are bigger!” oh lord…up goes the neighbourhood; if he answers, b) “no, you’re fine!” she’ll reply, “you’re not looking properly! I see that I am fat!” and be happy, cause if he doesn’t realise that she’s fat it’s because he loves her, no matter what (Max shrugs)!
  • A mother catches his son making-out, in the living room, with a girl (other than his girlfriend, the one that the mother loves so much) and asks “Bernard, what’s going on in here?”; if the son answers a) “mom, this is Carla; I’m making out with her because I had a fight with Rose!” the mom will chase the girl out of her house and tell her son “Really…I wonder from whom you took it after!” if he answers b) “mom, this is Carla. She’s having emotional problems and I’m showing her a way out!” she’ll say, “oh, ok. I’m sorry for interrupting you!” and leave the room!
  • A husband gets home, takes his shoes off and leaves them in the middle of the bedroom. The wife arrives, trips on the shoes and asks, “did you just leave these shoes here?”, if the husband answers a) “yeah…didn’t feel like putting them away, I’m beaten! Will you do it for me, hone?” his wife will go wild and start a row (although she’s right); if he answers, b) “know what happened? I had to run to the bathroom after taking them off, and then I just forgot all about them! Sorry, hone!” his wife will smile and calmly tell him to put his shoes away (if not put them away herself).

I am sure that the above examples are familiar to you, well…familiar to everybody around the world; and they prove the importance of being non-earnest: one avoids unnecessary quarrels; maintaining, therefore, the so much needed and wanted harmony!
Now, you may ask: 1- isn’t that lying? 2- isn’t there some sort of delusion involved?
I answer: 1- no, it’s managing the truth! 2- perhaps, but there again delusion is part of human life, isn’t it really? We all see what we want to see, we believe in whatever suits us to believe in, we accept what is suitable and proper to accept…the examples to this thesis are immense...
Many times I wonder what the world would be like if we all spoke the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…chaos, peut-être!
Thank heavens for diplomacy…


  1. Hmmm...I'm not too familiar about the examples except the second one.

    Second example: I've actually told my hubby (several times) NEVER to comment on my weight, even if I do look as though I had gained weight here and there. He then asked me, "But what if you ask me if I think you look fatter or not?" I told him, "Well, you have to use euphimism. You have to tell me that I might look a tiny bit fatter (if that's the case), but then you have to add these words: But you still look SEXY and BEAUTIFUL in my eyes and you're still my NUMBER ONE girl."


    Back in Indo, if a mother catches a son/daughter making out, then she'd probably disown him/her later on...or she'd scold him etc.

  2. But yeah, I agree with your conclusion. I once wrote something along this line: The world isn't ready to face the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

  3. i'm still laughing!!!it seems that women are all the same when we deal with weight! la verità ci rende liberi, ma forse non siamo pronti per la libertà.

    anyway, what you wrote on my post is quite interesting. That's not something that happend to 2 people, former lovers, but to old friends. we are a company of lots of people, and it's time to travel on different roads. how complicated is to explain this situation in a different language! (even if i should speak english like my mother language!)quando si incontra un amico si riprende sempre il filo del discorso da dove lo si era lasciato la volta scorsa, c'è sempre qualcosa che tiene legati. ora sento invece che è arrivato il momento di tagliare questo filo, perchè non c'è nulla che ci tiene legati. nemmeno vecchi ricordi ormai appassiti. it something that happens to lovers too! ci si ritrova tutti quanti al bar, tutti "amici", una birra annacquata come i discorsi che si fanno, ma nessuno apertamente fa qualcosa di concreto perchè in realtà non è successo nulla. è solo l'indifferenza che la fa da padrona. i'm sorry max, i would like to write in english more, i hope you understood everything!!i've never asked come do you speak italian?
    good night!

  4. hahaha, nice... I just absolutely love blogs that does what I do, think and make observations with the power of the human brain and often, I am envious of those ones that does it better than me or more fluently or more eloquently hahaha!

    I think I'm gonna love reading your posts! If you don't mind, I'd like to make a friend with you :). I have added your blog to my Recommended Blogs! Have a look and tell me what you think!

    Looking forward to reading more philosophical articles!


  5. So true, so true, Max. Sometimes the best (and only) answer is to pretend you didn't hear the question in the first place!

  6. Thanks for commenting on my blog. You have some interesting thoughts, but most philosophers would respond that if we lied all the time society couldn't exist because we wouldn't be able to trust anybody.

  7. Quite right too - we call them 'white lies' in the UK. White denoting that it is OK to tell them. Unfortunately, everyone has a different boundary as to what is a white lie and what is not. But without them we would indeed have chaose.

    Thanks for giving my blog some authority on Technorati. Still struggling to actually keep up with blogging. You're doing very well so far - mr award winner - well done !!

  8. I guess it just seems to me that all these scenarios are based on people who do not feel confident about themselves or others, and people who aren't straight with themselves or others -- Maybe that's what you're talking about,and maybe I'm just too naively middle-American...I don't know...

  9. Reality and the documentation of it is in real terms an approximation of what is there.

  10. Let us not forget that women are intelligent enough to see through men's un-earnest posturing, and most often, a simple and earnest man will appear a knight in shining armor (at least at night)! :-)

  11. lol yep that's true. it's not what you say, it's how you say it!


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