Privacy is committing Harakiri

Lucretia by Andrea Casali

Protecting one’s privacy is protecting one’s integrity, but doing so is becoming démodé...

Last month; while skimming BBC, I came across an interesting title “CNN presenter announces he is gay”. My immediate thought was “Why should anyone care about which CNN presenter is gay? As far as I’m concerned, Anderson Cooper could scream he’s gay and still I wouldn’t give a jot about it!” Still, I clicked the title and there he was: Anderson Cooper announcing he is gay. All right, he’s gay; so what? It is not like we didn’t know; however we appreciated the fact that at least one celebrity gay in the world behaved like a normal human being (i.e. he lived his life; he did his job and, like most of us, kept his sexual life private).

I like Anderson Cooper’s AC360º, I have fun with his ridiculist; I laugh my eyes out at his girly giggles; I like the way he asks the toughest questions and puts pressure wherever pressure is needed. In summa, he is one of the best journalists on earth. However, after he announced his homosexuality, people stopped talking about him because of his work and competence and, began speaking of him due to his sexual orientation – nicht gut.
His announcement raised questions like: “Is this why he never hooked up with Isha Sesay?” and “Did he succumb to the pressure of Gay Rights Groups?”

For now, I will not expand on how annoying Gay Rights Groups can be, however I’d like to ask two questions: if heterosexuals tend to keep their sexuality private (particularly when they have lovers), why do homosexuals want to be different? They claim to want equality, and fight against discrimination; so why the need to discriminate themselves?

Anderson Cooper was the symbol of the Right to Privacy and when he decided to quit that position, he not only started an interesting debate but he may have also started a dangerous trend.
Once society is forced to shift its citizens’ sexuality from the private sphere into the public arena, it incurs the risk of rendering these matters trite. As a result of this, one day job applicants may be asked about their sexual orientation in a way that circumvents laws against discrimination (don’t be shocked for many hiring-entities, until recently, required that the CVs would come with a photo – a subtle way to discriminate people based on race, looks etc).

Our society is being afflicted by a corrosive plague: exposure of what should be kept private.

As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated, sex seems lacking in sweetness and privacy” - Shelley Berman 

Comments

  1. I agree that ordinarily sexual orientation should be kept private. However, for gays (or those of even less-accepted sexual orientations), coming out helps to remove the social stigma associated with their preference- particularly for an admired celebrity. It's one thing to hate an abstract orientation, but much more difficult to hate individuals.

    That being said, this justification is quickly losing validity (for gays anyway) as homosexuality's stigma fades away. As you said, it was already obvious that Anderson Cooper was gay, so *announcing* it won't open too many people's eyes, especially since in today's society, homophobes are more likely to be ostracized than gays.

    However, in theory, as long as there is an undeserved stigma attached to an aspect of some one's private life, celebrities (or anyone) are justified in "coming out." Take breast cancer for example: it used to be a really shameful thing to have, until women started coming out and it lost its stigma so people could discuss it publicly.

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    1. Hi Vid :D!

      "I agree that ordinarily sexual orientation should be kept private. However, for gays (or those of even less-accepted sexual orientations), coming out helps to remove the social stigma associated with their preference- particularly for an admired celebrity. It's one thing to hate an abstract orientation, but much more difficult to hate individuals."

      You have point (although I suspect we would have another interesting debate about "those of even less-accepted sexual orientations").

      "That being said, this justification is quickly losing validity (for gays anyway) as homosexuality's stigma fades away. As you said, it was already obvious that Anderson Cooper was gay, so *announcing* it won't open too many people's eyes, especially since in today's society, homophobes are more likely to be ostracized than gays."

      I agree. True, true.

      "However, in theory, as long as there is an undeserved stigma attached to an aspect of some one's private life, celebrities (or anyone) are justified in "coming out." Take breast cancer for example: it used to be a really shameful thing to have, until women started coming out and it lost its stigma so people could discuss it publicly."

      The breast cancer example is an excellent one, thank you *bowing*. To the list we should also add HIV and AIDS (in the 80's and beginning of the 90's being HIV positive or having AIDS was a huge stigma, but when stars like Magic Johnson came out and shared their health condition and others participated in awareness campaigns...things changed for the better).

      Regarding sexual orientation, the question is: do we incur the risk of eventually going back to a situation where homosexuality will be less tolerated again (due to over exposure) as in the past? There was a moment in human history when homosexuals were tolerated but then because of behavioural exaggerations society became less tolerant toward them...

      Vid, outstanding comment for which I thank you a million times :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
  2. This morning's news paper had this news item in a prominent location and its web version gives two links to the same news, One of them is http://www.monstersandcritics.com/people/news/article_1701813.php/Kim-Kardashian-slims-with-sex

    Celebrities irrespective of their sexual orientation will do anything to stay in the limelight including making such claims and announcements. It is their Raison d'être. We normal people can be as prudish as we want to be or as open as we desire depending on exactly what we hope to achieve!

    While I would not like to talk openly about my shenanigans, I do not mind talking about my father's because his were well known and in some quarters admired for also!

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    1. Hi Rummy :D!

      "This morning's news paper had this news item in a prominent location and its web version gives two links to the same news, One of them is [Kim Kardashian slims with sex]"

      Thanks for the link. That sort of news is so trashy - I do not know why would anyone want to see their name on shallow articles such as this one. How important is to know how this young lady slims? No comments on her boyfriend's remarks *nodding*...

      "Celebrities irrespective of their sexual orientation will do anything to stay in the limelight including making such claims and announcements. It is their Raison d'être. We normal people can be as prudish as we want to be or as open as we desire depending on exactly what we hope to achieve!"

      So, you think Anderson Cooper (a guy who always kept his life to himself) announced his sexual orientation to stay in the limelight? There must be a deeper reason than that.
      Are we normal, Rummy? :)

      "While I would not like to talk openly about my shenanigans, I do not mind talking about my father's because his were well known and in some quarters admired for also!"

      LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL oh my Lord...LOL LOL at least, he enjoyed life, right?
      You are killing me, Rummy; you are really killing me LOL...

      Rummy, thank you so much for your perfect comment & humour :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
  3. Max, you are back, ma belle! Anderson Cooper is gay? I didn't know this. And he announced on the press, why? This sort of behaviour fatigues me immensely because I don't understand the need to share with the world whether you sleep with a man or woman, it's ridiculous. I read Mr Rummuser's link and who is Kim Kardashian, what does she do, where did she come from, who is her family and why is she news? I know her rude boyfriend though, but the woman...pas du tout.
    Privacy should be defended with teeth and nails. In the privacy of your life you can do whatever you wish.

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    1. You don't watch CNN, Louis? I agree with you on privacy though.

      "But after all, these things being done secretly, (...) how can it be known what any person will do at any particular time and for any particular purpose" (Vatsyayana)

      You see, Louis, Vatsyayana didn't count on people exposing their own lives, themselves.

      Delete
    2. I watch CNN but I don't always watch Anderson Cooper's show because it comes on too late.
      Mon Dieu, what have you been reading? Mais ouis, if Vatsyayana was alive he'd be shocked with the easiness in which people share their life and intimacy...

      Delete
    3. Salut Louis :D!

      "Max, you are back, ma belle!"

      Indeed, I am *bowing*.

      "Anderson Cooper is gay? I didn't know this. And he announced on the press, why? This sort of behaviour fatigues me immensely because I don't understand the need to share with the world whether you sleep with a man or woman, it's ridiculous."

      Apparently he is. I gather you do not watch his shows. I wish I knew why he had the need to share it now, but I don't. I just hope he didn't succumb to Gay Rights Groups' pressure.
      Right? As if we had the need to know...

      "I read Mr Rummuser's link and who is Kim Kardashian, what does she do, where did she come from, who is her family and why is she news? I know her rude boyfriend though, but the woman...pas du tout."

      lol I can't give you that information: you will have to Google her. The only thing I know is that she has a ghastly reality show (I once dared watching one episode and how I regret it). Yeah, I know her boyfriend too.

      "Privacy should be defended with teeth and nails. In the privacy of your life you can do whatever you wish."

      Absolutely.

      Louis, thank you so much for your outstanding comment :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
  4. Max, although I knew Andy Cooper was gay I confess I preferred to stay in denial - he is too good looking to be true! His announcement just ruined my and Isha Sesay's fantasies ahahahah! Seriously now, I am concerned that one day employers will want to ask us about out sexual orientation and we won't be able to cry discrimination because sharing that kind of information is becoming so banal that soon the anti-discrimination laws regarding this matter will be viewed as obsolete - you raised a good point here.

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    1. Hi Ana :D!

      "Max, although I knew Andy Cooper was gay I confess I preferred to stay in denial - he is too good looking to be true! His announcement just ruined my and Isha Sesay's fantasies ahahahah!"

      LOL LOL LOL LOL I can't believe you LOL LOL LOL *nodding*.

      "Seriously now, I am concerned that one day employers will want to ask us about out sexual orientation and we won't be able to cry discrimination because sharing that kind of information is becoming so banal that soon the anti-discrimination laws regarding this matter will be viewed as obsolete - you raised a good point here."

      Thanks. It is a concern indeed, because legal protections can change one day (as the result of these matters being banalised)...this raises a good debate.

      Ana, thank you so much for your comment (you killed me) :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
  5. Hey Max,

    So glad that the rain has stopped. We're all doing fine (Gigi as well), thank you so much. There were a lot of damages and many were left homeless because of the flood. I'm thankful that we live in a higher area.

    I hope you're doing great sweetie.

    Kisses and hugs

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    1. Hi Liza :D!

      "So glad that the rain has stopped. We're all doing fine (Gigi as well), thank you so much. There were a lot of damages and many were left homeless because of the flood. I'm thankful that we live in a higher area."

      Thank God (those are wonderful news). You are welcome, my darling. There is nothing like living in a higher area indeed.

      "I hope you're doing great sweetie."

      I am fine, thank you, dear.

      Liza, thanks for having dropped by. You were missed :D.

      Big hug and cheers

      Delete
  6. Max, great post as usual. It is matter of time things will change and it won't be skill anymore that employers will be looking for. However, it is not new, because its been done yet very causally and supposed to be not noticed.

    I have this one example. People were dropping work applications and they had to be filled in on the spot. The lady who file them was advised to file them into white bin for all the you know people and discard all the other for other races. Well they ended up hiring this white man for the job who according the application was perfect candidate. He turned out to be a nightmare lol.

    I shall repeat this, and you know this too, never judge book by its cover.

    Speaking of books, on the side note, I have been reading lot of youth books, many historical ones about civil war, or just life in 1600s. I came to conclusion we are very spoiled now :).

    Max, always nice to see (or visit you) and hope you had some nice time off.

    Anna :)

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    1. Hi Anna :D!

      "Max, great post as usual."

      Thank you, my darling *bowing*.

      "It is matter of time things will change and it won't be skill anymore that employers will be looking for. However, it is not new, because its been done yet very causally and supposed to be not noticed."

      Right? So so true.

      "I have this one example. People were dropping work applications and they had to be filled in on the spot. The lady who file them was advised to file them into white bin for all the you know people and discard all the other for other races. Well they ended up hiring this white man for the job who according the application was perfect candidate. He turned out to be a nightmare lol."

      Oh really? And no one ever denounced them for this blunt discriminatory practice?
      LOL LOL I have seen it happen as well...it served them well, though, didn't it?

      "I shall repeat this, and you know this too, never judge book by its cover."

      Absolutely!

      "Speaking of books, on the side note, I have been reading lot of youth books, many historical ones about civil war, or just life in 1600s. I came to conclusion we are very spoiled now :)."

      I agree with you. During my vacations I read 19th century novels and reached the same conclusion...it's sad, isn't it?

      "Max, always nice to see (or visit you) and hope you had some nice time off."

      Always nice to see, and receive you here :D. I did have a nice time off, thank you *bowing*.

      Anna, thanks for your outstanding comment (loved your perspective) :D.
      Please, send my love to Matthew.

      Big hug and Cheers

      Delete
  7. I don't know who Cooper Anderson is until I saw the gossip news about him. I don't watch CNN and at home my husband watches news on BBC or Al Jazeera. You do have a point in your post. In my case, I don't need to tell people that I'm gay unless if they ask me.

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    1. Hi Charlie :D!

      "I don't know who Cooper Anderson is until I saw the gossip news about him. I don't watch CNN and at home my husband watches news on BBC or Al Jazeera."

      You see? Instead of being talked about because of his excellent work, he is being introduced to people (who didn't know him) through his sexual orientation *nodding*.
      Your husband has a nice taste: BBC is excellent.

      "You do have a point in your post. In my case, I don't need to tell people that I'm gay unless if they ask me."

      Thank you, darling *bowing*. And that is the way it should be.

      Charlie, thank you so so much for your perspective (loved it) :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
  8. Hello,

    Good text! I go for a privacy, we don't say I'm hetero as wel, what is it for? I think homo is just about with whom you go to bed, with man or woman, for the rest, we have the same stinky shit and eat the same burgers.

    Regards from Belgium

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    1. Hi Hallo :D!

      Welcome to the MAX Experience, Belgium!

      "Good text!"

      Thank you *bowing*.

      "I go for a privacy, we don't say I'm hetero as wel, what is it for? I think homo is just about with whom you go to bed, with man or woman, for the rest, we have the same stinky shit and eat the same burgers."

      No, we don't. LOL LOL well, your unorthodox wording says it all: we are the same - Humans; so why the need to shout our sexual orientation to the seven seas, right?

      Hallo, thank you so much for your vital input :D.
      I hope to see more of you here.

      Cheeres

      Delete
  9. I think perhaps we are to be partially be blamed for this, who kind of narrow their chinks whenever it comes something of the same sex, maybe because its unnatural, but its time we adapt to it and move on. The media would everytime make such a hue and cry and give undue publicity to these publicity seeking self-claimed morons who try to show something being cool in being different, but fail to realise that at the end of the day they make a laughing stock of themselves only.

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    1. Hi Kalyan :D!

      "I think perhaps we are to be partially be blamed for this, who kind of narrow their chinks whenever it comes something of the same sex, maybe because its unnatural, but its time we adapt to it and move on."

      Agreed: it's time to move on.

      "The media would everytime make such a hue and cry and give undue publicity to these publicity seeking self-claimed morons who try to show something being cool in being different, but fail to realise that at the end of the day they make a laughing stock of themselves only."

      You have said it all...
      I gather, by your harsh words, that you do not agree with this over-exposure of one's sexuality...

      Kalyan, thank you ever so much for sharing your thoughts with us (no PC, no BS - loved it) :D.

      Cheers

      Delete
  10. Sadly, Max, I agree with you. Nothing is left unstated these days, while the "truth" of history, religions, and regimes remains complex and virtually unattainable.

    But the paradox is that in addition to frequent brazen interpersonal and political attacks is our need, especially in the USA, to maintain "political correctness." I see this combination as a powder keg, waiting to be ignited. The more we speak in abbreviated phrases and sound bytes, the greater the chance we'll escalate tensions in any part of our lives, as we become more angry and reactive while on the surface trying to be "politically correct." It's a modern phenomenon that seems almost schizophrenic.

    It's a lot of pressure. And you're right: the privacy, subtlety and romance have pretty much been thrown out the window and down the slope with our manners. And I don't need to know about anyone's sexuality unless I am going to date them!

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    1. Hi Lynda :D!

      "Nothing is left unstated these days, while the "truth" of history, religions, and regimes remains complex and virtually unattainable. "

      So true. Society is having all the wrong debates - maybe to deflect our attention from wanting to reach those truths you spoke of?

      "But the paradox is that in addition to frequent brazen interpersonal and political attacks is our need, especially in the USA, to maintain "political correctness." I see this combination as a powder keg, waiting to be ignited. The more we speak in abbreviated phrases and sound bytes, the greater the chance we'll escalate tensions in any part of our lives, as we become more angry and reactive while on the surface trying to be "politically correct." It's a modern phenomenon that seems almost schizophrenic."

      Excellent point! Yes, I invite everybody to ponder on these important words...

      "It's a lot of pressure. And you're right: the privacy, subtlety and romance have pretty much been thrown out the window and down the slope with our manners. And I don't need to know about anyone's sexuality unless I am going to date them!"

      It is. I agree: I don't need to know it either (and since I am not looking to date anyone, besides my husband) I really do not need to know people's sexual orientation. All I need to know is that they are humans like me.

      Lynda, thank you ever so much for your outstanding comment (and humour) :D. Always a pleasure.

      Cheers

      Delete

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