Weekend experiences



Before proceeding with this week’s article, I would like to wish the Jewish community, all over the world, a Merry Pesach!

After two weeks of heavy themes, we all deserve a bit of entertainment…and which topic is best for that? People.
What I am about to share with you is the result of my experience with two cultures: the African and the European.

Friday, 18:00. End of the week and everybody is hype
For the African community (black and white alike) this day is quite meaningful for it represents the return to Eden. After work they go home and indulge themselves with a home spa, cause after all they must look sharp from top to bottom if they are to cause an impression on the fine babes. Once at the club they greet everybody, they feel the beat and look around to check on the quality of the honeys. When they spot their prospective prey they dance up to them and reach out their hand while looking straight into their eyes; the dames’ first reaction is to decline the invitation «I don’t know how to dance!» but these professional predators know better than to let the prey escape «No problem, baby; I can teach you!» poor souls have no choice but to yield.
For the European community (black and white alike) this day is party day, for it represents the rest of the warrior. After work they go to the Happy Hour, after that they go out for dinner with friends, then they go home to have a quick shower and put on some jeans, a clean shirt and a blazer (just in case they get lucky). Once at the club, they greet their friends and acquaintances, they walk straight to the bar and after getting their drink; they slightly move their body to the sound of the music while holding the glass and waiting for some sort of female eye contact.

Saturday, 7:00. Everybody is coming out of the club.
The Africans go straight to the market to buy their share of the ingredients for the Sunday barbecue (at somebody’s house).
The Europeans go home, with a bloody hangover, to sleep for they have to work in the afternoon shift.

Sunday, lunch scheduled for 13:00
The Europeans arrive right on schedule and respect the invitation. At 17:00 when the lunch is over they still have time to drop by the mall to buy a book/CD before heading home.
The Africans never arrive on schedule (we even wonder why the hosts resiliently set these time frames knowing that no one will abide to them); they have the nerve to bring 2 or 3 people with them and bluntly give an explanation such as «My sister, I brought my girl, my cousin and her friend…you know…to help you with cooking, washing the dishes and the children! And take this gift as a token of my appreciation!» the host, who is trying to lose weight, receives the fancy chocolates with a frown. Before she could utter a word she will be cut off «Txo, what…don’t tell me you’re trying to be skinny like these women here! Then if your husband takes another avenue, don’t start crying! Eat!»…The barbecue lasts until 1:00 in the morning…

Monday, 8:30. Total gridlock.
A European is in his car, depressing himself even more by listening to Boomtown Rats’ “Tell me why, I don’t like Mondays…tell me why…!”
In the next lane there is a high-spirited African with his car windows down and listening to loud music by Dog Murras…he is already thinking about Friday night…


Image: The Tree of Life by Caryn

Comments

  1. Merry Pesach to you also Max!

    The tree of life imagery is wonderful!!

    LOL I thought all the heavy stuff was entertaining! But I hear where you are coming from… LOL

    Friday….African community

    Let me take some notes here….
    “Fine babes”, “honeys” “prospective prey”, “dames”, “baby”, “poor souls” all descriptions of the ladies….

    Interesting way of getting a lady to dance…

    What do the ladies call the guys and how do they go about getting them to dance?

    Friday….European community

    LOL LOL

    A clean blazer just in case they get lucky… LOL LOL

    Does lucky represent running into their drycleaner?

    Just waiting for some eye contact, a little more subdued eh? LOL

    Since most over here that are over 30 would not be caught dead in a dance club I have to say I have no idea of the modern nuances in these affairs, but I will say I acted more like the former and encouraged the other guys to act like the latter, less competition then….

    Keep in mind these are my pre-Jesus days….

    I preferred to find a table with a group of ladies together, and then would ask what most would consider as the second best looking of the group to dance. They always say yes because they are showing up their typically more popular friend/competition. Also this way you have an in to all the ladies at the table so you can change you “target” if need be. I also found asking 2 of the ladies to dance at the same time to work very well. They may feel more comfortable and it gives you an opportunity to meet them both. It also helped to develop a persona or mythology…and to pick up more than one lady at a time…

    Of course the above is not a complete repertoire….

    Saturday….African community and Europeans….

    Wow nobody “got lucky” they all stayed at the club till closing…

    Sunday European community...

    I like punctuality, the mall is open in Lisbon at 5 pm on a Sunday? What’s for lunch? What kinds of books and CD’s?

    African community….

    There is a trick around the time thing, tell everybody a different time. We have a friend that is always 1 hour late, we tell him to come an hour earlier than everybody else and he is then on time… If it is a sit down lunch it doesn’t work well to have people showing up spread over several hours, but since it seems it must be a BBQ who cares when people show up. It’s great when people bring extra people for a BBQ, as long as there is enough meat….LOL LOL

    Chocolate is excellent! Who could say no to that?

    1 am the next morning it ends, the mall CD’s and books are starting to look good! LOL


    Monday European community….

    LOL I saw the Rats in concert in the 80’s!!! LOL
    Not my faves but they were ok…

    What kind of car?

    I never did get the Rats video to work; I will try again later…

    African community…

    What kind of car?

    I got 12 seconds of the Dog video, must be a local computer issue…

    Are you sure they both aren’t already thinking of Friday night? LOL

    I love it gridlock traffic and they are listening to music. No talk radio/news/24 hour traffic station? LOL

    Our top radio station is news-talk and the second biggest is a 24-7 traffic station! LOL

    Max this was very entertaining! I loved the insights…now I am wondering what you did this last weekend? LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Max,
    Synchronicity. We have both posted trees. (Great image)

    I must say that I love Tuesdays and have renamed them Maxdays.

    "Friday...represents the return to Eden."

    Again, I love that analogy. One of my brothers (1 of 4) used to go clubbing from Tuesday to Saturday. He even had red shoes which my sister and I teased him about. We called them the ruby slippers. LOL. No wonder he was exhausted by the time he returned to work on Monday. A walking zombie.

    "Europeans...once at the club, they greet their friends and acquaintances, they walk straight to the bar and after getting their drink; they slightly move their body to the sound of the music while holding the glass and waiting for some sort of female eye contact."

    And it is quite a sight to see. How they "dance" while still holding their drink, yet they can't hold their liquor.

    You have summarized both cultures accurately. It's amazing how geography doesn't matter when it comes to humanistic traits.

    "A European is in his car, depressing himself even more by listening to Boomtown Rats’ “Tell me why, I don’t like Mondays…tell me why…!”

    A female murderer (Brenda Spenser) killed two people and wounded kids in 1979 in San Diego, CA and blamed that song. That was sad.

    "In the next lane there is a high-spirited African with his car windows down and listening to loud music by Dog Murras…he is already thinking about Friday night."

    I just YouTubed them.
    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

    They remind me of the Baha Men. "Who let the dogs out, woof, woof, woof, woof."

    Fun Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello LS!

    "Merry Pesach to you also Max!" - Merry Pesach to you, LS!

    "The tree of life imagery is wonderful!!" - it is, isn't it? The minute I saw it I knew I just had to use it in one of articles :)!

    "LOL I thought all the heavy stuff was entertaining! But I hear where you are coming from… LOL" - LOL LOL LS, anything that can result in a fiery debate is entertaining to you LOL...ok, to me too LOL...

    "Let me take some notes here….“Fine babes”, “honeys” “prospective prey”, “dames”, “baby”, “poor souls” all descriptions of the ladies…." - ROFL....that is a good one lol *nodding*....as if you needed to take notes, LS lol *nodding*!

    "Interesting way of getting a lady to dance…" - isn't it? I was actually shocked the first time this happened to me LOL....

    "What do the ladies call the guys and how do they go about getting them to dance?" - the ladies call them "grosso" (literal translation: thick; but in colloquial language it means "hot"); ladies do not get them to dance; they always wait for the guys to ask them to dance. Now, what do they do to make the guy ask them to dance? They move their body to the music, real slowly; looking nonchalantly, like "I don't care if I dance with a guy or not, I can dance by myself!" LOL...

    "LOL LOL A clean blazer just in case they get lucky… LOL LOL" - LOL a clean shirt and a blazer lol...

    "Does lucky represent running into their drycleaner?" - LOL LOL no...it means what you know it means LOL!

    "Just waiting for some eye contact, a little more subdued eh? LOL" - let's say...not as aggressive....

    "Since most over here that are over 30 would not be caught dead in a dance club I have to say I have no idea of the modern nuances in these affairs, but I will say I acted more like the former and encouraged the other guys to act like the latter, less competition then…" - LOL LOL LOL you don't say...LOL *nodding*. So, man do worry with competition after all? And people say it is only women....lol.

    "Keep in mind these are my pre-Jesus days…." - but of course...of course, my friend :)

    "I preferred to find a table with a group of ladies together, and then would ask what most would consider as the second best looking of the group to dance. They always say yes because they are showing up their typically more popular friend/competition. Also this way you have an in to all the ladies at the table so you can change you “target” if need be. I also found asking 2 of the ladies to dance at the same time to work very well. They may feel more comfortable and it gives you an opportunity to meet them both. It also helped to develop a persona or mythology…and to pick up more than one lady at a time…" - you don't say...!? I am shocked at your skills...now I believe that your credentials are for real LOL LOL *nodding*! I must admit that it was a good strategy, though...

    "Of course the above is not a complete repertoire…." - LOL LOL stop bragging, LS...LOL....

    "Wow nobody “got lucky” they all stayed at the club till closing…" - LOL LOL it is normal to stay at the club till closing. When I was younger, I wouldn't leave the club before 8:00 and then I would with my friends to have breakfast downtown Lisbon...

    "I like punctuality, the mall is open in Lisbon at 5 pm on a Sunday? What’s for lunch? What kinds of books and CD’s?" - What? The mall is open until 23:00 on a Sunday (well, everyday)! I will give you the Portuguese lunch: bought grilled chicken with fried potatoes *nodding*...at least the African community cooks their own chicken. Let me share something, I was invited for a Sunday lunch in London once (African community)...guess what they offered me? Barbecue LOL....

    "There is a trick around the time thing, tell everybody a different time. We have a friend that is always 1 hour late, we tell him to come an hour earlier than everybody else and he is then on time… If it is a sit down lunch it doesn’t work well to have people showing up spread over several hours, but since it seems it must be a BBQ who cares when people show up." - LOL LOL I know, we have tried that one before...still didn't work lol *nodding*! But it is a great trick!!! Was your friend from an Afro community?

    "It’s great when people bring extra people for a BBQ, as long as there is enough meat….LOL LOL" - LOL LOL I hear you! But that is never a problem in Afro BBQ cause they always count on the extra-guests lol.

    "Chocolate is excellent! Who could say no to that?" - a woman who would want to lose weight lol. But I wouldn't say no, though lol.

    "1 am the next morning it ends, the mall CD’s and books are starting to look good! LOL" - LOL you know?

    "LOL I saw the Rats in concert in the 80’s!!! LOL" - get outta here! you did? LOL LOL...you were quite a party guy, LS!

    "Not my faves but they were ok…" - I'm not much of their fan either...

    "What kind of car?" - Fiat Punto (don't ask)....

    "I never did get the Rats video to work; I will try again later…" you didn't? Let me check that....it's working now!

    "African community…What kind of car?" - Fiat Stilo (don't ask either)...

    "I got 12 seconds of the Dog video, must be a local computer issue…" - 12 seconds? Let me check that...ok, it is working now...I am even completing this comment to the sound of it *pausing to dance*...I'm back (lol)...it must be a local computer issue indeed...

    "Are you sure they both aren’t already thinking of Friday night? LOL" - LOL perhaps you are right, but one is feeling depressed and the other is all happy lol!

    "I love it gridlock traffic and they are listening to music. No talk radio/news/24 hour traffic station? LOL" - no, youngsters here listen to music in their cars...

    "Our top radio station is news-talk and the second biggest is a 24-7 traffic station! LOL" - really? Nowadays, I am not aware of the radio rankings here...

    "Max this was very entertaining! I loved the insights…now I am wondering what you did this last weekend? LOL " - LOL LOL last weekend I rested :)...

    LS, thank you so much for your awesome comment...I laughed a lot! You are the one who is entertaining :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  4. Alexys,

    My girl is in the House!!!! lol

    "Synchronicity. We have both posted trees. (Great image)" - I was going to tell you earlier today, when I was at your blog, but then I thought I should surprise you :)! Thanks *bowing*!

    "I must say that I love Tuesdays and have renamed them Maxdays." - wow...thanks, I love that new week day lol ;D! Monday, Maxday, Wednesday...you are right, it sounds better lol....

    "Again, I love that analogy. One of my brothers (1 of 4) used to go clubbing from Tuesday to Saturday. He even had red shoes which my sister and I teased him about." - red shoes!? Oh no...he was an Angolan in a previous life LOL! If I were there I would have joined you and your sister and tease him too LOL.

    "We called them the ruby slippers. LOL. No wonder he was exhausted by the time he returned to work on Monday. A walking zombie." - LOL...he clubbed a lot, eh? Not even I did that lol...although I clubbed a lot too back in the days...

    "And it is quite a sight to see. How they "dance" while still holding their drink, yet they can't hold their liquor." - LOL you know? LOL I remember that me and my friends used to laugh at them like crazy; it's because they don't even dance they just stand there and...drink (cause they don't even dance that well either)....

    "You have summarized both cultures accurately. It's amazing how geography doesn't matter when it comes to humanistic traits." - indeed, my dear friend; indeed geography doesn't alter the humanistic traits (and I had the chance to observe this in different countries too)...

    "A female murderer (Brenda Spenser) killed two people and wounded kids in 1979 in San Diego, CA and blamed that song. That was sad." - what? You're kidding...

    "I just YouTubed them. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!" - LOL LOL....Dog Murras is an Angolan singer...

    "They remind me of the Baha Men. "Who let the dogs out, woof, woof, woof, woof."" - LOL LOL that song is wack LOL *nodding*! Fun though....

    Alexys, thank you so much for this amazing conversation: me laughed lol ;D! You rock, girl!

    Entertaining Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  5. Going to the market is so much healthier than nursing a hangover at home! We should learn that... :D

    That was fun! Isn't it cool to be part of two cultures, or at least to know to cultures? I love it too ;)

    I laughed so hard reading this post!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Max,
    "I remember that me and my friends used to laugh at them like crazy; it's because they don't even dance they just stand there and...drink (cause they don't even dance that well either).."

    I knew someone who wore a white tube dress and just stood in the middle of the floor, while everyone watched her - and she didn't even dance. I don't call "standing" dancing.

    "A female murderer (Brenda Spenser) killed two people and wounded kids in 1979 in San Diego, CA and blamed that song. That was sad." - what? You're kidding."

    It was odd that she blamed that song. She was only 16 at the time.

    "Dog Murras is an Angolan singer."

    Really? I was trying to understand the language.

    Rocking Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey Zhu,

    "Going to the market is so much healthier than nursing a hangover at home! We should learn that... :D" - lol true, true :D

    "That was fun! Isn't it cool to be part of two cultures, or at least to know to cultures? I love it too ;)" - it is extremely fun to be part of two cultures ;)!! I know you do, darling ;)!

    "I laughed so hard reading this post!" - LOL I am so glad you did! After all it is the purpose of this post...just to relax a bit lol ;D!

    Chérie, thanks for your great comment: you made my day :)!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  8. Alexys,

    "I knew someone who wore a white tube dress and just stood in the middle of the floor, while everyone watched her - and she didn't even dance. I don't call "standing" dancing." - white tube dress and no dancing...so what was the purpose of being in the middle of the floor? Did she want to be the centre of attention *nodding*? You are right...standing is not dancing (out of curiosity: she didn't even sway to the sides?)

    "It was odd that she blamed that song. She was only 16 at the time." - 16? That is sad indeed...! Ok, I know the song is a bit depressing but it is not that depressing....

    "Really? I was trying to understand the language." - yes! He is singing in both Portuguese and Kibundo, I believe (one of the dialects in Angola); he is quite political. I met him here, he is extremely shy lol.

    Rumba Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes this is a bit of a departure for you Max. It is well written and entertaining. Have a great weekend, but don't use the "I can't dance line" since that doesn't seem to work.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey Scott,

    "Yes this is a bit of a departure for you Max. It is well written and entertaining. Have a great weekend, but don't use the "I can't dance line" since that doesn't seem to work." - lol thank you, my friend *bowing*! In fact, tomorrow is a bank holiday here: how did you know? LOL LOL LOL I have used it in the past but not anymore...how can I tell my fiancé that I can't dance when he knows that I do lol?

    Oswegan, thanks for your fun comment, pal :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hello from Norway: Lovely picture and Merry Pesach to you and I hope the rest of the weekend will be great too!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey Renny,

    It is always a pleasure to see Norway here :D! the picture is beautiful indeed :)!

    lol Merry Pesach to the Jewish Community, you mean ;D!

    My weekend has already started and it is being great, thanks :D! Have a great one yourself!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lol, love it Max, cool differences between cultures, us Canadians love bacon and beer on Sundays eh. have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hmm....I thought I made this comment...must have been a senior moment. Anyway, I just have to wonder what is going on in the minds of the women. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. LOL.

    I'm kind at a loss of what to say... Amusing though hehe

    Let me comment on your layout, it's pretty. But the switching from black to the white comment background hurts my eyes :(

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hey Bob,

    lol thanks, my friend :D!

    "us Canadians love bacon and beer on Sundays eh." - LOL LOL I hear you!

    Have a great week, Bob! :)

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hey D,

    "Hmm....I thought I made this comment...must have been a senior moment." - lol it happens sometimes, the trick is to check the top of the comment page to see if the notice message is shown or not (if it doesn't say, in yellow and green, "your message has been saved" then you must re-send it).

    "Anyway, I just have to wonder what is going on in the minds of the women. ;)" - LOL I hear you! Well, you know us women...we are more sophisticated lol...

    Thanks for your words, my friend :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hey Shan,

    LOL I am glad you found it amusing :D!

    Thanks :D!!! I am so sorry to hear about that :(...

    Thanks for having dropped by; it is always a pleasure to see you here :D!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi! Just back from the top end of Australia visiting my children. They party every night and as I haven't nursed a hangover for over 5 years, I had to nurse them back to health.

    I also make a very good designated driver for them and the wife. Well your only young / old once!

    In your rounds around town, have you come across any Aussies? If you have I'd like your thoughts on their party modes.

    Take Care,
    Peter

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hey Peter!

    "Just back from the top end of Australia visiting my children." - :D I take it you had a nice journey!!

    "They party every night and as I haven't nursed a hangover for over 5 years, I had to nurse them back to health." - LOL LOL aah, boys...I hear you lol *nodding*!

    "I also make a very good designated driver for them and the wife. Well your only young / old once!" - LOL so you drive them back from the party, eh? True, we are only young/old once in each life ;)!

    "In your rounds around town, have you come across any Aussies? If you have I'd like your thoughts on their party modes." - lol unfortunately I have never come across Aussies...Hmmm...don't you guys like Portugal lol? We meet a lot of Europeans, Africans, Latin Americans, but never Aussies... :(! And now I am curious about their party modes!

    Peter, thanks for having dropped by! You must be exausted, mate!

    Have a great week!

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete

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